I am 20 weeks and 4 days today... I'm more excited than I can put into words, yet, I have not gone fb public with my announcement yet. I'm sure my family is getting irritated that we haven't shouted it from the rooftops, but, I mean when is it "safe" to tell people? NEVER!
I know I gave up my worry to God weeeeeeks ago but I don't know if I'm quite ready to tell everyone I know yet. I can't hide it at work anymore, but I can hide it online... We said we would announce when we found out the gender at my anatomy scan at 20 weeks but... Baby had other plans, the legs were crossed so we don't know what we are having... soooo.... That idea is half shot, so should I wait til I know? I mean it's probably only a few more weeks away... We took some pictures Sunday with the sono picture with the plans of going fb public with them but then today I edited them and I love how they came out, but I can't post them. Maybe it's because tomorrow is 9/11 and it just doesn't seem appropriate? Idk... I'm just rambling...
Is it weird I haven't shared my joy with people? or does it seem like IF has left me jaded? Is it normal to want to be cautious in who I share my news with??? And then on top of all that, I feel like I shouldn't be posting anymore on a fertility blog, I feel lost right now, I don't fit in with the fertiles and I don't feel like I have any right to be saying anything here either... It's a very strange limbo I never thought I would be in, and as thankful as I am for the opportunity, I just feel lost in the world. IF has been such a big part of my past, and the future is so uncertain...
Maybe I'm just weird
-Mrs Red
I think what you are is humble, not weird. Because you have been there and you do know what it's like. Personally, reading your posts give me hope that I too will be pregnant one day. So I think you have a good fit on an IF blog! :)
ReplyDeleteI think your feelings are COMPLETELY normal! IF does leave you a little jaded- the romance and naivety of pregnancy goes out the window and you end up guarding your heart and expecting the worst! Enjoy this moment though and celebrate- however the looks to you!
ReplyDeleteI think there's nothing wrong with it dear! All the people you see on a regular basis know about it and if you feel that it's not something that the whole world of Facebook needs to know then thats perfectly fine! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I definitely think you should still be here! You're such an inspiration to everyone who is struggling with infertility! God bless you for that!
We definitely need you to stick with the blog. Although we know that not everyone will be successful in this journey, knowing that you were gives us hope that it can work. Granted, we probably can't handle pictures everyday or anything :) but always appreciate hearing success stories.
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate - I feel that way a lot as well, however more recently I've felt more at ease with it. IF is still something that is a part of you, you can never erase your journey and in my opinion, you will never forget the emotions, struggle and steps you when through to get pregnant. Your determination, selflessness, and sacrifics you took to get you as close to pregnant as possible and then ultimately God had the final say, but you did everything in your power to get there. People who truly struggle, never forget how much it hurts when pregnant women talk about their pregnancies, or when they hear someone else is again pregnant but not them. I feel its really a sisterhood that no one understands unless you've been there and gone through the treatments and tracking. We are success stories, and the rest of the ladies on here may want to read your post one day or may not, but let them decide. I remember some days I didn't want to hear about anyone pregnant, and other days I wanted to, because I needed some hope.
ReplyDeleteAs far as sharing the news, that is completely your choice. I really thought we wouldn't tell anyone for months, however we had so much support and most people in our life knew we were going through IVF. Once I was pregnant and knew I was having twins, I wanted to share the news early on because even if I would have miscarried or something would have happened, that might of been the only time in my life that I would be pregnant so I wanted to share it and absorb it. Then at 22 weeks 1 day, I was diagnosed with cervical shortening and for the next 3-4 weeks I was scared out of my mind that I would go into labor these little boys were not going to make it because it was far too early. Now at 27 weeks, I feel I can take a deep breath because I know there is a slim chance of them not surviving, and the chances of developmental problems are low as well. I still don't want them to arrive before 32 weeks, but after 28 weeks I can take another deep breath. Even term babies that are born things can happen. So yes NEVER is a SAFE time, but don't go through your pregnancy worrying what could happen, focus on enjoying it and knowing that things are good now, and you'll handle whatever happens when it happens. Sorry this is so long, so happy for you and DH.
I totally agree with the other ladies! You should definatly be here. You went through the same struggles and now what its like, also like they said it does give us alot of hope because we see the possibility of this miracle=) Not only that, but when( and notice I said when ladies and not if =D) we get pregnant you can help us through the struggles your dealing with now. Oh and I think your thoughts are perfectly normal, I would probably feel the same way about these things. Praying that your mind eases and we trust that baby is perfectly safe and healthy =D
ReplyDeleteThanks Ladies! Your words have really helped me. I am so glad to know I still have your support! I'll probably post more but not all about being pregnant because there are so many emotions that are lingering from IF. I really appreciate all you have said. I know you will all get your miracles someday. And I know "someday" isn't comforting right now sometimes but it will all be over at some point, adoption, ivf, surroget, just plain old fashioned miracle, someway somehow you will have your family!
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