Shhh... We are Being Quiet... LOL!!!

I'm sorry the blog has been so quiet lately... Life just gets crazy at times!

I know I have some requests I need to respond to about author's for secondary infertility and I need to find some male infertility writers. But time slips by quickly :o)

February has been an... interesting month for me. 2013 for that matter.

For Christmas we went and saw my grandmother who had cancer. Wanted to make sure we took the time to see her. Then my brother spent 3 weeks in TX with us (she is in AZ).
Early January I made a religion change (prefer to keep it private for now).
Mid-January I had surprise spotting for 3 days (very light).
January 14th my grandmother chose to stop chemo because it wasn't benefiting her.
BFN towards the end of January.
February 5th my favorite grandmother passed away... The one we visited at Christmas.
February 13th I started spotting again.
February 14th we arrived in AZ.
February 14th I find out a cousin is pregnant with her 2nd child.
February 15th was Grandmama's memorial.
February 17th we are home in TX.
February 18th spotting gets a little heavier.
And then February 21st the period stops.

Weird. I haven't taken ANY vitamins since Christmas yet the second spotting started 28 days after the first spotting stopped.

That has NEVER happened except on birth control pills.

How has your 2013 treated you so far??

False alarm

Well, it wasn't implantation that I was feeling. Af showed up on Monday with a vengeance. I was SO convinced this was it. Oh we'll, just trying to recooperate!

Shannon Gets a Surprise and Plans Her Next Step

Yesterday was CD64.

Before I continue, did I tell you I did the parsley tea?? No? Ok... So I tried the tea. Got down one glass (with some sugar while holding my nose). Then didn't drink anymore. That was 2 weeks ago..

For the past week I had been complaining to Steph about my boobs being sore. Annoyingly sore. Since I don't get period warnings I was HOPING it would be a sign of pregnancy, regardless of the bloodwork results from CD 26. She insisted that maybe my period was about to start.

Who won??

Well... yesterday AF arrived.

As disappointed as I was, I was wanting it to come so I could move on.

Because my doctor hasn't called me back and I'm too busy/offended to call HER, I decided that this cycle I am going to try the GNC Fertility Blend for Women. I thought about buying the men's too, even though his numbers are AWESOME, but that is yet ANOTHER $40 for something I can't guarantee he would even take.

So, $40 for 1 month (90 pills = 3 pills per day) I will take these pills and plan on adding my vitamins back into my diet too... I've been so discouraged lately (for the past month) that I haven't even bothered with taking them either.

If I'm not pregnant with this cycle, I will call the doctor again and up my dosage of Clomid.

I also plan on tackling DH so we can sit down and discuss or fertility plan. This road looks like it is just getting harder and I want to have a plan set.

Disappointing Month

August was not as good as I expected it to be.

I had really high hopes when I shouldn't have.

My OPKs were coming back super close to the control that I was sure I ovulated.

My ovulation bloodwork was the Friday before my birthday and the pregnancy bloodwork was the Friday after.

I hoped that would bring me luck.

Everything seemed to be pointing out that August would be great and the Clomid 100mg would work and I'd have a great birthday month!

But alas, nothing turned out how I hoped.

Ovulation bloodwork: Negative.
Pregnancy bloodwork: Negative.

And I am at the same spot I was in spring of 2009 when we stopped the clomid after 100mg. Just the feeling that it isn't going to happen. Disappointed failure and that treatments worth pointless.

I have to remind myself that it isn't going to be easy and that I have to keep going. That isn't as easy as some might think. I wish I could get pregnant like most normal people and not worry about if I will even get AF to get pregnant (I am currently on CD52... further proof I didn't ovulate).

I'm now 26. I know that most of my friends aren't married or they don't have kids and may not for years. But I also know that most of them don't have these complications.

I don't know what to do anymore.

You can pray for me but please don't tell me to pray. I know that most of our readers and writer's are very Christian but I am struggling with what I believe and have been for a while now.

"I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights, I don't know...
Well, that is it guys, that is all - five minutes in and I'm bored again
Ten years of this, I'm not sure if anybody understands"
Some Nights - FUN

Shannon is on Cycle Day what?

So, I don't even know what CD I'm on.

Thank goodness I have an app on my phone for that... I am on CD52. I called my DR on CD 8/23 to inquire on if I need to come in to get Clomid 150mg or if she could just send it to the pharmacy... Nurse said she would call back and... Still no call :/

So I looked up natural remedies to induce AF (gross, I know). And the biggest one is Parsley tea. Now, I haven't gotten up the nerve to try it and then we are going on vacation to a lake this weekend and I didn't want to mess that up. But since we might not be swimming figured I better try it so I will after I finish this post. Supposed to drink 3-4 cups!

Now, I'm not using the tea bags... didn't even know they made them! But I have fresh parsley and parsley flakes from the spice section at the store. 

I will have to let you know how that goes!!

Keep on keepin' on!

Well AF has rolled into town today almost a week late! On to the next cycle! Sorry this is short and sweet! Enjoy your Wednesday tomorrow everyone!

Now to Wait!

AF finally arrived late Monday. Now I wish it was gone, LOL! It is so annoying to always be thinking about it to make sure you don't overload or remember to have a tampon in the bathroom, etc.

BUT this means I can start Clomid 100mg on Friday! My day 19 bloodwork (ovulation test) will be the Friday before my birthday, and the day 26 bloodwork (pregnancy test) will be the Friday after my birthday.

I hope I get good news this month. That would be an awesome birthday gift! And I know that I am relatively young to be concerned with my biological clock (but frankly, who isn't when they have fertility issues???), but every birthday just is SUCH a huge reminder. I will be 26 in August. I know most of my friends aren't even married, let alone have kids... But I'm ready!

Hope everyone has a good day!!!

Waiting... and Waiting...

I don't know if any of yal have had this kind of problem with Provera...

I finished the dose on Tuesday evenings and as of today, Saturday evening, I am STILL waiting for my period. Normally AF starts within 1-2 days after I finish the pills.

I want it to hurry up and come (rare for a girl to say that, I know!) so I can start my Clomid 100.

The worse thing is, I stay paranoid about my period hitting since I don't cramp a lot during AF. Thus it can hit me unexpectedly. UGH.

Have any of you had this type of problem before??

CD17: LH and Basal Temps

As you have seen from my last post, my LH went down.

And then up a little.

Then down again.

And now going back up.

GEEZ.

I haven't been able to record my basal temp because my basal thermometer ran out of batteries and it wasn't one that you can change the batteries >:(

SO.

I haven't been recording them for the last week because I keep TRYING to remember to buy one when at the store and then completely forget.

But I bought one today :)

I am supposed to go on Thursday to do bloodwork for my Progesterone levels. I am going to keep LH testing until a) I run out of strips or b) AF comes. I know some of you ovulated late in the cycle so still trying to remain positive.

My only question is... If I DON'T ovulate on this cycle of 50mg of Clomid, do I do another month of 50 or just go up to 100??

Any suggestions???

Um, LH??? You are going the wrong way!

Today is CD12 for me.

On CD10 I started tracking my LH with an Ovulation predictor kit. CD10 was the day AFTER my last Clomid pill.

As of this morning, here are the results: 

As you can see, my LH hormone marker is getting LIGHTER instead of darker.

Not. Cool.

I will still do this kit until a) AF visits or b) I run out of strips (there are 20 in there so that gets me to CD29).

I know several people mentioned ovulating later than expected while one Clomid. I just hope this dosage helps me ovulate!

Silent Blogger

When starting this blog with a few friends, I had initially intended to be an informer of PCOS and infertility but didn't know when I would be doing fertility treatments myself. DH and I had decided we would wait til Aug 2012 and go from there on what we wanted to do. Either wait 2 more years until nursing school was over or just steam ahead.

Sometimes other people's decisions affect our own.

As we all know, Mother's Day was last weekend (sorry for the reminder!). Saturday evening the night before, I FINALLY heard back from the nursing school I applied to. I was rejected for the Fall 2012 semester start. Just what I wanted to hear on that weekend, as though it wasn't bad enough.

I didn't know how to react to that. I had expected it, deep down, but still hopeful. Kinda like how I feel whenever I do fertility treatments. Didn't expect it to work but hoped it would.

DH reassured me that everything was ok and this and that. They next morning he picked his words carefully and explained that he viewed it as a sign. Postponing school with no choice, his mom moving out (which isn't happening now...), and summer coming so his second job wouldn't be as stressful was like the pieces coming together. We need to focus on building our family.

So, Monday morning I called my previous OB doctor that also does minor infertility treatments and set an appointment. I expected the standard 2-3 month wait like the first time I went. Imagine my surprise when they said I could be in on THURSDAY!

The days passed and I got giddy and nervous and finally I was at her office.

She is a nice doctor. The only way I can describe her is that she is very professional and sometimes that makes me feel awkward because she doesn't tend to small talk or converse unless promoted, especially if she is entering notes on the laptop (they have a computer file system there). Me, being the socially awkward person in an awkward 1-on-1 situation provided plenty of small talk hoping to make both of us relax and she talked a little more... Anywho...

We discussed my options and she agreed that we would start clomid 50 mg once this cycle of BC was done. Luckily I had decided to start taking it back in January so that ended up cutting off three months of wait time. She also sent a prescription for metformin since it tends to help the clomid out.

I'm excited. AF should start in a week and we will go from there.

How do I feel about all this? Excited. BUT I don't think it will work. I'm hopeful that it will but don't  think it is probable. I guess I'd rather expect the worse so the letdown isn't as hard. We shall see :)

OH! And my insurance doesn't cover ANY infertility, not even clomid so the breakdown:
CVS Pharmacy
Clomid $19.09 for 5 pills (50 mg each) which breaks down to $3.818 per pill
Metformin $1.30 for 1 month (covered by insurance)

Last time we went through this (Spring 2009) Clomid was $18 a pill and generic was $1.80 (Walmart). We decided to just go ahead and splurge on brand name this time :)

Mrs Red's OHSS

I am 8dp3dt and the past 4 days or so I've had absolutely no symptoms and been a little bummed. Occasionally I'll get some AF type cramps but not strong or anything and only after being up for too long.
So anyways I went yesterday for my progesterone and estrogen check and they called after lunch to let me know both were normal: e2=812 and progesterone=55 so that was great news to me, I know they don't indicate pregnancy but my IUI cycles it was never more than 20 for progesterone and e2 was always low... So I was happy.
So this morning.... I'm laying in bed after going pee at about 4 am and I feel restless. I couldn't get comfortable, felt hot and like I couldn't breathe right. Then the hubby gets up at 530 to take a shower and I roll over to take up more bed space, which usually helps. But then I notice a pain on my left side/back kind of a shooting pain like a kidney infection meets constipation/gas feeling but I didn't feel gassy and didn't feel I needed to "go", so I'm whining and rolling on my back hoping the pain will go away.

Then hubby gets out of the shower and hears me whining and come an sits with me asking what's wrong. Said to try to "go" and I try but nothing. The trying just made the pain worse. Then I lay down and try to find a comfortable position. Really the only thing that 'helped' was the fetal position over a pillow.

Then the pain started getting intense and I wasn't getting any relief, my whines turned into sobbing pain. Hubby rubbed my back which seemed to make it subside. We did my daily PIO shot and hubby continued to get ready for work. Then the pain came back with a vengeance! I got so dizzy and was in a dripping cold sweat and we decided to go to the hospital. We called my RE line and left a message but the pain was too intense, hubby basically dressed me like a baby because I was just crying and couldn't move, every movement hurt like heck.

The pain migrated to my uterus/ovary area AND my back. After I was dressed I felt so nauseous and said 'I think I'm going to throw up' and he said lets go to the bathroom, as soon as I stood up I felt it, ran the two steps and got some on the floor but most in the toilet. It was a weird gel-like yellow vomit (TMI I know lol). After it finally seemed like my stomach was truly empty we started leaving to go to the hospital. When we got halfway down the street the RE called. I told him the morning events and he said to come in around 9 as a walk in. I said ok but sat there thinking, uh... 2 more hours?! Hubby said it would be better to wait if I could but we would do whatever I wanted. I was actually feeling a little better after throwing up, so we sat in the car until the pain all seemed to dull, it was still there but tolerable. Came inside and laid down and then a miracle happened, I fell asleep. Hubby woke me up and I said I wanted to shower since I was feeling a little better and the pain wasn't as bad.

We went to the clinic and they took my weight, which I lost 10 lbs from the start of this cycle :-) and then took me to the sonogram rooms, asked for a urine sample and then did the ultrasounds. They said 3 weeks is too little to see anything and really didn't look at my uterus more than a split second to measure it. Then that's hen we saw, my right ovary was HUGE! And there were 2 big pockets of free fluid just hanging out in my belly. I had a few 3 cm cysts on my right ovary, then my left had 3 3.5 cm cysts. She said my ovaries should each be the size of one cyst! Then she checked all my organs and everything looked fine. They measured my belly which was bloated and said to monitor my weight and belly size, if it gets worse they will need to drain the fluid.

So I officially have OHSS. It's not as bad as some people they said but it's new to me and the hubs. They also said that its likely that I'm pregnant but to wait until Monday for my test. I did read some forums that said to eat a lot of protein and Gatorade since the fluid lost in my tummy will dehydrate me and contains protein and I'll be losing sodium. Let's just hope this doesn't get worse! But I'll be taking it easy til it's gone.

AF has ARRIVED

Gotta love when the Provera ends and then you wait....

But, couple days later AF showed up. Now to let 10 months of no AF get out of my system.

BC is to start on Sunday.

~Shannon