CD19: One of THOSE Days

Today is CD19. I had to go in to get bloodwork done to check my progesterone levels (to see if I ovulated).

After seeing my home LH tests... I have no hope that I ovulated. Here is the pic from CD9 (last day of clomid) to today:

(I was kinda dehydrated for the one that is yellower than the rest)

Kind of a downer on my day.

And I did this during lunch time so afterward I stopped at BK on the way back... And the lady in the drive-thru was pregnant. Lovely.

Day hasn't gotten much better. I know what the results are going to say.

This is honestly the hardest part of infertility: trying to remain hopeful even though, time and time again, it just doesn't happen. And I don't just have my battle with PCOS, I don't ovulate PERIOD.

On my mind has been this song (below). A friend put it on facebook and I think of husband throughout the song. But there are certain verses and parts of the chorus that make me think of this infertility journey. Enjoy :)

Infertility is....

Question #10

10.Other than the song “I Would Die For That,” post a video of a song that has special meaning to you and your infertility journey. Explain it, if you’re comfortable doing so.

Shannon:
Mine is actually a song from the recent movie, Tangled. It is actually about a relationship between the two main characters, but to me it sounds like a mom and dad's first experience holding their child and what goes through their mind. Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and the wonderful result of having a baby. A "mommy's boy" and a "daddy's girl". Just close your eyes and listen to the lyrics :o)
I See The Light - Tangled

Mrs Red: there are actually 3 songs I would like to share... The first one is "strong enough" by Matthew West. I accepted Christ into my life when I was a junior in high school. I didn't fully understand what that meant for years. Struggling with PCOS made it hard for me to keep my faith. I felt alone and like God didn't care about me. I've learned different over the years and I truly believe that I am not strong enough alone and that I need Him to help me through it. That's where this song comes in.
Strong Enough - Matthew West

The second song is "Stronger" by Mandisa. This song helps me remember to just hold on to God and keep going forward. I don't feel like God had told me No yet on my fertility journey, he's saying wait, hold on just a little bit longer, this will make you stronger.
Stronger - Mandisa

the last song makes me cry. It is "Beautiful Things" by Gungor. The story behind it is so touching and personal to me. The lead singers wife was battling with fertility and she hit a low point. That's when she wrote the chorus to the song. It's a very beautiful song that can bring you to tears, my husband and I were drawn to the song before we knew the story. The story just makes it more beautiful. A year after her low point, she gave birth to a beautiful baby :'-)
Beautiful Things - Gungor

Ashley:
There are two top songs that come to mind for me...however neither is actually about infertility

#1 Blake Shelton, God Gave Me You. This song means the world to me because I know without my husband I would not be able to get through any of this and continue to move forward.

God Gave Me You - Blake Shelton

#2 -Gavin DeGraw, Not Over You. I know its about a romantic relationship, but I think of it as a relationship between me and my unborn child - I'm not over "wanting" you, and the emotions I feel are very similar.

Not Over You - Gavin DeGraw

Need a Cry Day?

Do you ever feel the need to just sit for a while and cry? Sometimes I do it without realizing it.
I will sit down on the computer and just wander to YouTube... next thing I know I'm watching fertility videos. All sorts of them... Help videos, success videos, songs, everything.
End up balling my eyes out for an hour. It helps. :o)
My FAVORITE song is this one: Kellie Coffey: I would die for that