A loss for words has never been so wordy...

So a week after my transfer I took a HPT and to my very big surprise it was a BFP! We were super excited. The next day I went for my hormone check and they said they wouldn't do a beta because it was too early. They called me later and told me my progesterone was really low and to up my PIO injections to 1.5 ml. So everyday I took PIO 1.5 ml, and a suppository at night and then every 3 days I was on 4 patches of vivelle which is an estrogen patch.

I took another HPT a few days later just to see if the line was getting darker and it was! My first beta came back as 1397 and the second one was 3411! With my first beta they said my estrogen was a little low but they would check again on the second and it was much better. We were so excited. We set my first ultrasound for May 21st. Then a week after the betas I had some bleeding. It wasn't much at first but we still called the doctor who asked me to come in right away. My first miracle and I had just woken up because we were both sick with a stomach virus from something we ate. There was no time to take her to anyone to be watched so I loaded her in the car pjs and all. DH called me and said he was on the way and would meet us at the clinic. 

We got to the clinic and I changed DD into real clothes and we waited to be called back. First they took my weight and blood pressure which was understandably high. And then we went back to the exam room. We saw DH running down the hallway as we walked to the point exam room. we gave DD the iPad to watch a movie while they did the ultrasound. We saw 2 perfect little sacs and yolks. In one sac there was a clearly defined "pole" the other was a little harder to see but definitely there. Everything was measuring right on track at 5 weeks 5 days. They said to come back in 10 days to see how things progress but they couldn't find any source of bleeding.  

We were relieved and shocked. We went to get some lunch before going home. At the restaurant I had to go to the restroom again and when I went I saw I had bled through my underwear and shorts and when I wiped I saw a snot like looking clot. I called the doctors office again and they said it could be nothing just go home and rest and let them know if it got worse. 

And it did...

After we got home I started cramping a lot and when I went to the bathroom a clot a little bigger than a golf ball came out. And then it happened 2 more times. Finally the cramping stopped and I was able to get some rest. When I woke up the bleeding slowed down but I had already soaked an overnight pad. I emailed the doctors office to see if they wanted me to go in again but to let them know I was ok with waiting. They said just come on the 21st and we'll see then. 

So we go on the 21st and to our dismay, they could only find 1 sac, on top of that it was only measuring 6 weeks and I should have been measuring 7 weeks at this time but it had a heartbeat. So they called the doctor and he said let's check again in a week. If it starts catching up great and if it is the same size or only slightly larger it might be lost. I was crushed. They added me on a prescription folic acid to see if it would help. I also showed the doctor my legs and back because I had developed an allergy to the patches. When I first started taking the patches my skin would rash around the time to change the patches. But by this week i was getting a burning rash after less than 24 hours in the patch making waiting 72 hours pure torture. I'm ok with working through the pains and discomforts but my skin was raw and I was running out of places to put them so they switched me to a pill form because the doctor said that I shouldn't be having a reaction like I was. 

So we wait over a week because the next appointment wasn't available until June 1! The waiting is the worst. 

June 1, we get to the appointment early but have to wait because they had 3 procedures scheduled at the same time. And procedures are time sensitive. So we wait. And wait. And finally the sono lady comes in. 

She checks and it's so hard to even see the sac and the even harder to see the baby... She called the doctor in to check and he saw the same thing. This time he was able to find both sacs. Both still at 6 weeks. Not grown a bit. 

They apologize and express sympathy for our loss. And I feel like I can't breathe. They give us a min so I can change. And then the doctor comes back to give us options. He said the only options he recommended for us is either do the natural wait or a d&c. We didn't have to decide right then and there. DH asked what kind of wait time there would be to try again (since we had already discussed this aspect) and they said it would be about 8 weeks before we could do another transfer. He also said they could get us in touch with support groups or anything we needed. At this point I lost it and just started ugly crying. He gave us a tissue and walked out of the room to give us time. A little later a nurse came in and told us we didn't have to decide right now but to keep in mind that the natural route I would feel heavy cramping and everything would be at home and d&c is under anesthesia. Which reminded me of my first miscarriage, alone, at home. It was so painful and like a scene from Carrie. I can't feel it. I don't want to feel it. I'm so broken I can't I can't I can't. 

DH is scheduling everything for me with the clinic. I can't deal with anything right now. 

My mom picked up DD from daycare for us so that we could process alone and not leave her all day there. We went home and watched a marvel movie his boss let us borrow. Then I asked him to pull my box of dolls out of the shed so I could give DD my new in box Barbies and we spent some time unboxing Barbies and setting them up to see her face when she got home. She truly is our miracle and I'm so grateful it worked the first time with her. This loss is so hard and the only thing that makes it better is that we have her. We have a trip we are going on for Labor Day and the doctors time frame puts another transfer around then so we are just going to wait until after that trip. I'm going to try to use this time to get more in shape and maybe find a job with maternity leave? Idk how to really process things but I know everything will work out for us. I know I will have my rainbow after this storm. Right now I just need to push through the storm. 

I'm not ok. But I'm ok. 

-mrs red

Dr. Luck = Lucky???

Hi guys!

I know the blog has been kinda lacking on posts lately. Sometimes it is hard to try a new topic to write about, especially when you aren't going through treatments.

But...

I hope to start actively trying soon! I have an appointment early August with Dr. Luck (Mansfield, Texas). I picked her for her credentials and also hoping that she will be my lucky charm :o)

Other than that, not much to report.  We will be making some changes with blog design and hopefully adding some more authors!!! Keep an eye out for an application form!

In June a family member announced her pregnancy. Unfortunately she miscarried shortly after. Today I just found out that the mother of my Goddaughter is pregnant again!

Hope are you guys doing???

~Shannon

Special Guest Saturday: Candi

Sometimes love just isn't enough....

They say it is better to have loved and lost to never have loved at all.  I’m guessing whoever "they" is that thought they were so clever to say this never dealt with infertility or the loss that occurs when you lose a child.  I suppose that person has never gone from a place of extreme happiness to an all-time low.  And I suppose that person has never had to tell your husband who you have been ttc with for 12 years that you just experienced a chemical pregnancy aka miscarriage.  Some say it may be better to have loved and lost, but I disagree.  

We lost so much in that 5 minute phone call that we’ll never get back.  I never got to know what it feels like to feel our child(ren) grow inside me.  We never got to hear a heartbeat or wonder if we should buy pink or blue.  We never got to hold our child for the first time and count all their fingers and toes, wipe their tears, kiss their sweet head.  We never got to see a first step, hear a first word, bandage a boo-boo, mend a broken heart from their first love, celebrate a birthday or Christmas, shop for the prom, buy a first car, teach right from wrong, be proud at graduation, walk her down the aisle at her wedding or calm his nervous when he says he’s ready to propose.  We never got to see them rejoice when they purchase their first house or tell us they are pregnant and we will be grandparents.  We lost so much before we even had a chance to show our love.

We had only just found out we were pregnant 2 days prior but I already loved that baby with my whole heart and would have done anything to protect them.  We wanted that pregnancy more than anything in the world.  Our dreams were finally coming true and our prayers were answered.  I fell so deep in love with my baby(ies) the moment I heard “you’re pregnant” from my re’s office that my heart shattered in a million pieces when I was told it was over.  “This is some cruel joke” I remember saying.  2 months later and my heart still hurts from the loss.  After 12 years of ttc I had come to terms that I was part of the statistic of Infertility; part of the 7.3 million suffering daily.  I thought we had overcome infertility when we received our positive news.  I don’t know how to come to terms nor do I want to with the statistic of being part of the 20% of pregnancies that end in a miscarriage. Or become part of a group that has lost a baby to a chemical pregnancy which is so common almost 60% of first pregnancies that end like this.  We may never know the reason why our baby didn't survive.  I guess sometimes love just isn't enough to hold on to your miracle, no matter how much you try.   

All I have ever wanted was to be a mom; to have someone love me and depend on me; to give my husband a family.  It is an awful feeling when you find out that you can’t make your dreams a reality or when your reality is broken.  We have traveled the infertility road so long that I never thought there was anything that could hurt more.  Boy was I wrong!  We are now part of the group that has fought, won, loved and lost our miracle.  This pain hurts every day even when I try to push it away.  Just because I smile doesn’t mean I don’t ache.  Just because I laugh doesn’t mean I’m not crying inside.  Just because I love doesn’t mean my heart isn’t still broken.  We should be 3 months along right now.  Embracing all the changes, dealing with morning sickness, sneaking purchases of baby items when we still don’t know the sex(es).  I should be aggravating my husband with my cravings and needs.  However instead of everything we looked forward to, we are learning to survive and move on. 

We are currently on a break after this loss and another failed IUI.  We need some time for us and to prepare for another try.  We’ll try again one more time down the road because we don’t feel our time is done. I share all this with you not for you to feel sad or sorry for us, Lord knows I do that enough as it is, but to just keep the good thoughts, prayers and baby dust flowing our direction.  If you’re a mom or dad, hold your little one a bit tighter and be thankful for what you have.  Never take it for granted.  Love your miracles unconditionally because I know a group of at least 1,400 people out here suffering with infertility that would give it all to have that miracle. 

~*~*~I'm praying daily for every empty arm and broken heart.  ~*~*~

To follow Candi on her journey, please subscribe to her blog at

http://mylifedealingwithinfertility.blogspot.com/?m=1

Maniac Mondays

 I'm a day late in writing this, but here is my day in regards to yesterday. So, yesterday was an AWESOME DAY....NOT! Of course we had all the "I'm pregnant April fools jokes" yeah...not funny. Then I find out a girl I know really IS pregnant. Her daughter is almost 7 weeks old. This girl isn't lying either. She posted pics of her papers from her doctor and everything so people would believe her. She has 4 KIDS already! Not only that, but her boyfriends daughter is about a year and a half old. So that makes 5, pregnant with the 6th! And her daughter is 7 weeks old!!!!! That is ridiculous.......and I think she *may* be considering an abortion from some of the things she is saying. Horrible =( She posted a screenshot of explicit texts between her and her boyfriend a few weeks ago about how they were going to have sex and somebody asked if her doctor even cleared her for that and she said no. Real smart lady...way to go. Ughhh I kind of feel so stupid for being so jealous and mad and outraged, but REALLY???!!! Then I reposted the pic about not putting the im pregnant april fools joke out of respect of those who have lost babies, have endured years of ivf and infertility annnnd my stepmoms friend commented on it VERY RUDELY to me. She called me stupid (along with a bunch of other rude words she called me), and demanded I deleted it. Didn't even have the decency to private message me about it. Just went on to pretty much "yell" at me in front of everyone. I put the pic up out of respect to all you ladies, my sister and many other friends I have that are either dealing with infertility and/or who have suffered through miscarriages. I went on to ask the woman if she even know the background of the lady who made the pic (I had the opportunity to read that, thanks to Shannon for putting that up. Thanks Shannon!=D) and her response was "idc, do you know the background of my friend who lost a baby?" then my best friend commented on it and said "Sheila is just putting this up because she knows a lot of people who have miscarriages and stuff and doesn't want to see them hurt" and she went on to repeat herself and say "idc, do you know the background of my friend that lost a baby?" So anyways I deleted the pic and sent her a private message saying
"Im sorry I upset you earlier. I was posting that for alot of personal reasons. I dont tell everyone everything that goes on in my life. I was also sharing it for my sister bc she wanted me to but I understand what your saying so I took it down. My sister had 3 miscarriages and a baby dead not long after birth. I know its painful. I held my dead neice in my arms 13 months after my momma died. Then theres more personal issues Id rather not get into. Im sorry I hurt you though." But anyways, I understand what she was saying but she could have went about it a better way, and she could have been nicer and not confront me about it so publicly and she could have been more considerate. She really hurt me the way she handled it. I feel so immature for how I felt about it, but I literally cried myself to sleep last night over my day. Hormones and infertility suck. Today is going better though. Hope everybody had a MUCH better day than I did yesterday. Hope all is going well for everyone =D

2009

2009 was a particularly hard year for me. In march my grandfather (moms step dad but still) passed away. It was hard that he never got to have his own children but that never mattered to him, my mom n her brothers were his children and we were his grandchildren. Being the oldest grandchild I am expected to have the grand babies first you know, well when he passed away it hit me hard we still didn't have children to share with all our wonderful family.

Later that year I found out I was pregnant but I didn't know it until I was already losing the baby. I had taken Clomid in September and my 21 day progesterone check showed I didn't ovulate, on schedule at least... I'm guessing I ovulated sometime in late October because I had been sick all through November with weird spotting. No period between September and November so I figured the spotting was just my period coming. My mom kept telling me to get checked but I didn't believe her. Well I finally checked the week after thanksgiving and it was positive, only thing was I knew something was wrong because I started bleeding worse and within that day I started having bad cramping. I went to the bathroom and it was like a scene from Carrie. I felt what I can only describe as contractions and then I passed it. I undoubtably knew what had just happened. I knew it was happening the whole time but I didn't want to face it. I told my hubby when he got home from work.
We told my in laws but they were having family issues so no one seemed to care. My cyster SIL was pregnant and on bed rest and when I went to visit she questioned me like I was lying. That hurt. I don't talk about it but it was real and it happened. I wasn't angry at God because I asked him for a sign that one day I would be pregnant even if it meant a miscarriage now, I just needed a sign. Be careful what you pray for because sometimes you get what you really don't want but ask for anyways.

To make the year worse, my brother's (now ex) girlfriend got pregnant and aborted the baby not even a few weeks after my miscarriage. My brother was ready to get married and join the military but she didn't want to give up her party lifestyle of getting high and drunk. He broke up with her and I'm glad he did.
A month after that my dog of 8 years died. It really was a hard year for me...

-Mrs Red

Fellow cyster

Please pray for my SIL who is also a fellow cyster, she's at the hospital right now. She's 7 weeks pregnant with her second (first took, 9 years and turns 2 tomorrow). She had 4 mc's before she spent her pregnancy with her first on bed rest for 7 months.

She's a strong woman.

-Mrs Red

"Surprise!..."

When you are struggling with fertility, there are a few things that you dread hearing. And the list is long.

However, I'm going to talk about pregnancy announcements from other people.

I've had a few in this journey (I don't know many people having kids yet). Some expected, some not.

We will start with September 2009.
I was at work at my data entry/callcenter job. You aren't supposed to have your phone but I also have mine tucked into a drawer where I can barely see it incase of an emergency. I get a text from my husband's ex-stepsister. It reads the following: "We're pregnant after only a month of trying!" That sent me to the bathroom to cry a bit. I congratulated her.... She eventually told me it was a mass text and she was trying to shove it in her family's faces. We saw them a couple times throughout the pregnancy and they stayed over a night or two. A week after their son was born, we went to see him. He was cute. I didn't cry. Hubs couldn't hold him. Said it was too hard on him. It took him MONTHS to hold him. As in FOUR months.

Fast forward to August 2010.
I went to dinner with a friend because I was expecting a pregnancy announcement from the SIL. During the meal I got an email from a cousin with an "It's a Girl!" announcement... SUPRISE! That hit but since I rarely saw them it wasn't drastic. I was just surprised that I knew I would get a pregnancy announcement, even though it wasn't from the one I was expecting.

September 2010-Infertile Couple's Luck!
A couple that we knew that had been struggling to get pregnant for the last 2 years was pregnant!!! Yay!!! Their announcement didn't bother me. They had struggled. I felt so happy that what they had waited for for SOOO long was finally happening!

October 2010.
It was evening time and I was on the treadmill while hubs was at work. This was before I would go with him any time I had open and help. I had 45 minutes down, 15 left... And I got a text. "We're pregnant! Finally". Yes... Finally... because trying for 1-2 months is FOREVER to wait. Hubs called to make sure I was ok. I was still calm and on the treadmill. Ended up going 15 minutes longer than my goal... Then went in the guest/future nursery and cried. Then I felt stupid crying for myself and pulled it together. When Hubs came home I tried to act normal but he sees right through that and he just held me while I cried. We both took the next day off and made a step towards going to the RE that was recommended to us. Over the next 6 months we hung out and I got to watch her belly grow and tried to be friend's and go walking with her and to the mall. I remember crying at Christmas over the dinner prayer because I saw her husband holding her with his hands on her belly and I felt like a complete and utter failure. That is a story for another time. As is the following in April 2010 when Max was born at 28 weeks (she was in hospital for 6 weeks) and passed the following morning from an infection.


November 2011-Birthday Announcement
I had been very observant since about August. I had figured that with the 6 month standard wait period that the SIL would be trying again. And our A/C had gone out in August and I saw a used pregnancy box in their garage when they let us stay the night. Early/middle of November she mentioned that they were only having sex when she was ovulating. Then they went on vacation. Thanksgiving I noticed that her husband said, quietly, "already got that brain" when she forgot something. I was the only one nearby. Her birthday dinner was that weekend and I noticed that she had a glass of wine but barely drank half in a two hour period. NOT like her at all. They decided to play "telephone" to make the announcement that she was pregnant again. Having expected it, I was happy for them. The week after New Year's 2012 she had a miscarriage.

There is a word of advice to either give friend's or to keep in mind: If you need to make a pregnancy announcement, try to keep in mind those that have struggled and break it to them nicely and privately. Even if by text. Sometimes wording can make ALL the difference. As can a heads up. That way you can get the appropriate happy reaction!

~Shannon

Question #7

7.If you had gotten pregnant that first month you started trying, how would you have been a different parent? What changes have you made to your parenting style (either current or future) in the time you spent trying to conceive?

Shannon: There is no real way to know how things would have been. I'm sure I wouldn't have nearly enough patience. If definitely learned that! Since we started this journey, we have had plenty of time to evaluate other people's parenting styles and to discuss how we plan on doing ours. Simple things from discipline to nursery design.

Mrs Red:As much as I wanted to have a family started right away, I'm semi-glad it didn't happen right away. We have had time to travel where we want when we want. We also have had time to grow as a couple without the added stress of children. We have figured a lot of things out about ourselves and each other. We are both more patient and we know what we do and don't want to do in raising our kids. We've seen our friends and family raise their children and learned from their mistakes and successes how we will raise ours. We both reeeeeally want children ASAP but its all in Gods time. He has shown us that as ready as we thought we were, we weren't quite as ready as we wanted to be but I think we're better off now than we were when we first started. :-)

Ashley:
This is a great question! Its amazing how most of us are oblivious to how much of a miricle pregnancy and children really are. I really feel like our parenting would be very similar, however I feel like I will be more patient and much more thankful and tolerable to the little things. I feel like I will truly be greatful for every good and bad moment of the journey with pregnancy and children. I think we will definitly be more ready financially, mentally and structurely. We've had the opportunity to do things we wouldn't have been able to if we would have had children right away.

Question #6

6.Discuss how you found your way into the ALI (Adoption, Miscarriage, Infertility) community, and what being part of it has meant to you – good and bad.

Shannon: I found my way into the community when I felt really alone and almost depressed about the situation. I had no one that I could talk to that would understand. I searched for several blogs and found dailystrength.org. As much as I hate for others to go through this, it was nice to know I wasn't alone.

Mrs Red:
I found my way into the network around the time we tried our first rounds of clomid. Nothing makes u feel like a worse wife than not being able to get pregnant like so many women can. I felt like a failure to my hubby and needed some support. My SIL was having similar problems but she wouldn't talk to me about it. I asked her one time if she ever felt sad or depressed and she laughed at me and said she was superwoman. So I turned to the Internet and learned that I was not alone. And you know what? You aren't alone either! I found so many stories of women who give me hope and help me realize I'm not a failure, there is still hope for me and there are women everywhere who are willing to lend a caring ear or shoulder. :-)

Ashley:
Well, I found my way to ALI community six months after we started TTC. I was devistated, embarrassed, emotional and didn't know where to turn. We hadn't told anyone that we were going through this journey so it was a lot of weight on our shoulders. I also felt like no one who I told would understand what we were (are) going through. I was having an aweful day and went online and just looked at a couple online support group websites, I just chose one that I liked the best. I've been very happy with the online support group. Its my escape place...I can write down all my feelings without feeling guilty, get opinions and feed back about others situations, and give help to others going through the same situation. I can come and go as I please which is nice too. The only part that isn't so great is when your the only one not pregnant from your support group - it's a little sad but very hopeful too! Of course your happy for your "cysters" that have worked so hard to get where you want to be it just still sucks that your not where they are yet. I think its a great way vent, get feed back and spill your feelings. I don't know if I would be able to get through all of this without it.

Question #2

2.Discuss the most ridiculous thing you ever heard about conception. Where did you hear it? Did it work for someone else? Did you try it?

Shannon:  Honestly, "keep your legs in the air for 30 minutes after" is one of the most ridiculous I've heard. BUT at the same time it makes sense because of gravity. Crazy thing? It worked for one of my coworkers. Hubs and I would try it, he was used to seeing me like that after, lol. But when I discovered more about my cycles and that I don't ovulate, there is no point in doing that.

Mrs Red:
Hmmm... Ones tried to no avail and ones that were just plain silly

*Stand on ur head while y'all are having sex... Ummm ow and no didn't try this one.. Well on purpose anyway ;-)
*don't have sex for a year or at least a long period of time, it'll make him have supersperm... Tried it (2 months was the cap) didn't work, he's not the problem...
*some Mexican herb tea every morning and rub belladonna and apple cream on ur lower belly everyday... Tried it, the tea was yucky and had a very distinct smell and flavor. Didn't work for me but relatives in Mexico swear by it
*get a Mayan massage on your uterus and drink some wild weed root boiled in water (it grows alllll over my SIL's yard) ... I didn't try it but my sis in law did.. She did end up pregnant after 10 years but I think she was doing hormone injections at the same time...

There's prolly more but these are the most memorable :-)

Wordless

Sometimes in life events happen that you just don't know how to react to.

Sometimes it doesn't happen directly to you but to the people you love.

I don't even know where to start.

October 2010 my SIL announced she was pregnant. In February, at 22 weeks, she had a placenta abruption and was in the hospital for 6 weeks. She had an emergency c-section at 28 weeks on April 13th. Unfortunately Max had an infection and passed away on April 14th.

November 2011, at her birthday dinner, she announced she was pregnant again! So exciting but it was really early (3 weeks, approx).

Just found out this evening that she had a miscarriage last night.

I feel sooooo bad for her.

Nobody deserves that. Especially not them.

Mrs Red's quest with crappy doctors... And a few good ones

I finally went to a doctor after trying for 6 months, given my history they did an ultrasound to confirm pcos and then gave me 3 rounds of clomid, then said "ur too fat, lose weight and come back" that pissed me off so I switched doctors. Now first lemme explain their way of administering clomid... They gave me provera to start the cycle, metformin for the pcos, said call on day 1 to schedule a 21 day progeaterone check, take clomid on days 5-10 and then have "relations" on days 9-16, also said to do a home ovulation kit, which btw are impossible to tell when u have a surge... Then I would go in on day 21 to get blood drawn and sometime about a week later they would call and say "nope u didn't ovulate, wait a week for your period to start and then take provera if it doesn't and call again when your period starts, oan btw, increase your dose" I would ask if I needed to go in to see the doctor and they we're always like no no just follow the instructions. I insisted on leaving a message for the doctor because metformin made me incredibly sick to my stomach, I constantly had the runs (tmi I know) and would throw up, so he said try next month without it. This went on for 2 more cycles and then he gave up.

The next doctor was a dufus and I knew more than him. When I say Dufus, the guy didn't know when the 21 day check was supposed to be done and then he never put my labs in until I was there to get my blood drawn even tho I called... So after 2 rounds of clomid with him I switched doctors again.

The next doctor I went to I explained my history with the other 2 doctors and first he said he doesn't blame weight for my problems because girls MUCH bigger than me have babies all the time (thank you) but he said that since we already did a few rounds of clomid without success that he has seen where a 10% drop in weight sometimes will help people ovulate. So he put me on phentermine for 3 months. I had been trying weight watchers and that plateaued at 15lbs with exercise! So I tried the drugs, weight came off fast and we tried clomid again. This doctor was a little more diligent but still wasn't as thorough as I read online that doctors should be with clomid. Then after 5 rounds he said I'm done go to an RE...
The one thing he said he would do was my HSG test. Which hurt like hell and I cramped for days but showed my Tubes were open.
We think it was after this test that I got pregnant for the first time end of Sept 2009. :-) I didn't know until I was losing the baby...
So we took some time off for the holidays...
Now this is where I'm kicking myself because 1st of all my insurance had JUST switched over and no longer covered infertility... Great... So I wet to another practice. The reason is because I wanted the ovarian drilling and cyst removal thingy and that doctor said nope there was no way he would do that surgery. So I found one who would. Because my insurance would cover that surgery but nothing else. So I got the surgery in march of 2010. After the surgery we tried to see if we could get pregnant naturally. Didn't happen. So we finally decided to go to a specialist in November.

The RE was the best doctor I've had and I'll go into all the iui's and my surgery in another blog. They are really good people and don't deserve to be in my post on crappy doctors lol. In fact the gyn before them was a good doctor too... Clomid, iui treatments, HSG, miscarriage, 2 surgeries are all posts for another day... :-)

Background on Blog

This blog was created to give other people (fertility struggling people or people wanting to understand) an inside look into the lives of several different people struggling with fertility issues themselves.

It will cover backgrounds, procedures, tests, events, emotions, etc. that are endured throughout the process of trying to conceive. These posts are a telling of our journeys to make all our dreams and wishes come true. In most cases, this doesn't come easy. We have to work for it.

There is no guarantee that this blog will be a cheerful one. "Infertility", as it tends to be called, is not something that many people want and can take a physical and emotional toll on the individual, their relationships, and their families.

We appreciate your understanding and empathy as you read our stories and experiences. You may recognize a story as you may have been involved, however we will leave all names out of it and just hope you understand.

Please feel free to ask questions. We want to bring awareness to others and be as helpful as we can. We know there are a lot of books out there on the subject but sometimes it is so nice to be able to talk to a real person about the issues and not read it in a book. If you have any suggestions or websites you recommend, please let us know!

~Shannon