Dr. Luck = Lucky???

Hi guys!

I know the blog has been kinda lacking on posts lately. Sometimes it is hard to try a new topic to write about, especially when you aren't going through treatments.

But...

I hope to start actively trying soon! I have an appointment early August with Dr. Luck (Mansfield, Texas). I picked her for her credentials and also hoping that she will be my lucky charm :o)

Other than that, not much to report.  We will be making some changes with blog design and hopefully adding some more authors!!! Keep an eye out for an application form!

In June a family member announced her pregnancy. Unfortunately she miscarried shortly after. Today I just found out that the mother of my Goddaughter is pregnant again!

Hope are you guys doing???

~Shannon

So much going on, sorry for the crazy emotions

So this week has just been totally awful. Last Friday my husband got hit by a drunk driver and totaled my car. Thank God he is okay. The guy turned right into him, caused him to go left of center and hit another car, then he got spun around and landed in a yard less than a foot away from a gas main. I thank God sooo much for looking out for him. Then Sunday morning, I get a text from my stepmom saying my dad was rushed to the hospital and I text her back telling her I'm on my way and then she texted me back saying he didn't make it, medics said cardiac arrest. So now my whole world is upside down. My dad and I were very close and I was not prepared for this. Tuesday I had to pay 300 dollars to get my car out of the impound and then later that night I get a text saying my grandma (my moms mom) is in the hospital, thinking its a blood clot in the lung. I haven't heard anything back about it so I'm hoping no news is good news. I'm just an emotional wreck right now. I lost my mom when I was 15 and my dad now at 23. I wish so bad I could have given my parents grandchildren. Now when I do have kids, they will never know their grandma or grandpa. I'm having a very hard time with my dads death and I just wish this nightmare was over.

Shhh... We are Being Quiet... LOL!!!

I'm sorry the blog has been so quiet lately... Life just gets crazy at times!

I know I have some requests I need to respond to about author's for secondary infertility and I need to find some male infertility writers. But time slips by quickly :o)

February has been an... interesting month for me. 2013 for that matter.

For Christmas we went and saw my grandmother who had cancer. Wanted to make sure we took the time to see her. Then my brother spent 3 weeks in TX with us (she is in AZ).
Early January I made a religion change (prefer to keep it private for now).
Mid-January I had surprise spotting for 3 days (very light).
January 14th my grandmother chose to stop chemo because it wasn't benefiting her.
BFN towards the end of January.
February 5th my favorite grandmother passed away... The one we visited at Christmas.
February 13th I started spotting again.
February 14th we arrived in AZ.
February 14th I find out a cousin is pregnant with her 2nd child.
February 15th was Grandmama's memorial.
February 17th we are home in TX.
February 18th spotting gets a little heavier.
And then February 21st the period stops.

Weird. I haven't taken ANY vitamins since Christmas yet the second spotting started 28 days after the first spotting stopped.

That has NEVER happened except on birth control pills.

How has your 2013 treated you so far??

DH

2 things,
1)sorry its so long but I had a lot to say, and
2)also warning this story does contain how we found out we are expecting.

The last 10 months or so I have learned a lot about my DH and how he feels about our quest for baby. Now lemme tell you, my hubby is NOT the emotional conversation participant. When someone starts talking about feelings, forget it, watch how fast the subject changes! LoL He's been pretty good talking to me about things but we've never really talked about his feelings on our journey. Don't get me wrong, I've asked PLENTY of times but I usually get a short "it'll happen in God's time" response and then I drop it.

Well at the beginning of 2012 we were talking about goals and we were about 2 months of our juicing changes. (We watched a documentary about healing your body from the inside out with fruits and veggies.) We were talking one day in January because my boss was hinting at a promotion and Hubby said his 3 goals for the year were "pay down debt, lower stress, and get me pregnant." I bout broke my neck to turn to him and said what? And he was saying that this year he wanted to focus on having a baby, whether that meant going an all natural route or doing treatments. I didn't bother asking why the sudden change because I know how much he wants kids and it already kills me. I didn't need to actually hear it.

So then we continue on with our life and then a few days later he starts talking about PCOS and things that cause it and how some people are insulin resistant and I was all "mmhmmmm, yep we tried that already" because it was stuff my GYN brought up before and tried testing. I was happy he was finally showing 'interest' but at the same time I was semi annoyed that all these years I've been trying to tell him and he wasn't listening. I think now he was in denial, was listening, just wasn't ready to talk about it and I'm ok with that. Guys aren't emotional talkers. Notice I didn't say they weren't emotional people! Because they are, they just show it differently.

Anywhosers so that was interesting and nice to see a spark. So then another week or so later he starts saying how he wanted us to try taking Maca, an herbal supplement, along with our juicing. And again this was something I tried years ago so I had like 3 bottles of the stuff laying around lol. So we talk about it and decide to try it together. The amount of stuff he researches is amazing! I can't read about stuff for that long! Well, some stuff lol.

Then my birthday started coming up and the year before when we stopped fertility treatments we had said we would revisit the idea after my birthday. So I asked him about it. He said that he was cool with whatever I wanted to do and would support me either way. So I prayed about it and then called the RE to find out what we needed to do and how long the time frame was. We continued our natural quest all the way up until we did IVF and we had all kinds of discussions about everything going on. He was much more inquisitive this time around from wanting to know what he was looking at on my sonos when they were checking my ovaries, to wanting to know what medicines I was taking and why and how. He was a good nurse :-)

When we did finally get the news we were pregnant, the way we found out was WAY out of the norm. That day I went for my blood tests I also had to have an ultrasound to check my OHSS, on the ultrasound they past by my uterus and it looked like nothing was there. When we walked out of the clinic, the moment the door shut I started bawling my eyes out saying how it didn't work, blah blah blah. I was so heart broken. No one really understands how hard this journey is an no amount of reading prepares you for the emotional an physical stress of IVF! I'm just gonna say that. So I cried the whole way to the elevator, down the elevator and to the car and in the car. The whole way he was just holding me tight saying how much he loved me, it would be ok, and how we could try again. He told me to call into work because he didn't want me to have to work being all emotional. So we stayed home and watched tv. He asked if I wanted him to take the call from the doctor and I said yes. I gave him the questions to ask about what my levels were because I wanted to know if anything was working right.

Around 12, the phone starts ringing. It was on the bed between us and I just pointed at it and he said you want me to answer an I said yeah. He answered as he was walking out to the hallway. I muted the tv and just prayed. That had to of been the longest prayer of my life that far! So then the door opens and he comes in, gives me a big smile and thumbs up and says "we're pregnant". All I could do was say "WHAT?!" And then it was like the wind was knocked out of me and I started sobbing. (Shoot I'm crying now too!) and all I would say over and over was what? *Cry* What? What? *cry*. He was just rocking me and telling me how God answered our prayers and we'd need to take care of it as long as God wanted us to have it. Then a few mins in I said "are you joking?" And he was like why would I make a joke like this? I just needed to be sure he was for real.

Since that day I have seen how nervous he is and seen how protective he is. He really is my knight. When I had spotting at 5 weeks he calmed me and called the doctor. When I fell down the stairs at 9 weeks, he literally ran to me from his desk, didn't even tell anyone where he was going or anything. When I am having bad ligament pain and make little "ssssst aaaah" noises he shoots up "what's wrong", when I step on something or stub my toe or run into something or do anything that makes me go "ow" he says what's wrong. And when I have Charlie horses that wake me up from a deep sleep he wakes up or runs out of the shower dripping wet with soapy water to massage and stretch my leg (don't underestimate the pain of a Charlie horse, they are intense!) He really is on pins and needles!

I've also learned he's become a lot more sensitive to other people. We finally went Facebook official and he tells me (things I already knew again) to not brag about it and not talk about it too much. He knows I have friends that are going through the same things. And he's seen my reaction at every single pregnancy announcement in the last 6 years and knows how hard it is. I never had/have any intention of bragging nor really talking about it unless brought up. It's just after trying so long and then keeping it secret for so long makes it something I'm ok with not talking about all the time. I'm enjoying it and thinking about it all the time but I don't want to forget where I came from.

What I've also noticed from him is that he's more aware of people he works with and recognizing those people who are privately struggling. He's noticing the signs and faces that people have and more in tune with their emotions because he says they are the faces he's seen on me and he can only imagine how I have felt all these years. I'm truly amazed at how he's, I guess, grown in the last 6 years. I love him so much and I am so happy that God put him in my life. He is such an amazing man and I cannot wait to see how we grow together.

-Mrs Red

The Odd Life of Timothy Greene

So my husband and I went to see it and needless to say we both balled hysterically the whole time. BUT it was such a wonderful movie! We were just talking about how we feel like we went to therapy haha! Has anyone else seen it?

Introducing Sheila!

We have added a new blogger to our group. Again, we are still taking more writers, just email me at sivywright@gmail.com with you email information.

Here is a little background that Sheila wrote for you guys:::

I am 23 years old (I know, still kind of young) and my husband and I have been married since August of 2008. My husband is 25. I went off birth control and have been TTC since October of 08. I technically haven't been diagnosed with infertility yet out of fear of going to the doctor (I realize now that was a very stupid mistake and I have my first appointment the 17th). I have very irregular periods and many female problems. My family history doesn't help, my mom had cancer and died when I was 15 years old. The cancer was very rare, but it is said it can be hereditary. Almost every woman on my moms side has or has had endometriosis,  suffered through miscarriage and has had a hard time conceiving. Both my sister and my mother have lost full term babies (my niece due to my sister having von willibrand disease and other complications, and my moms baby (my sister) having spinobefida. My aunt (my mom's sister) tried for many years before she got pregnant with
 my cousin and my grandma was said to be a twin but the twin didn't make it. My grandma on my dads side tried to get pregnant with my dad for nearly 15 years and finally had my dad when she was 34. My mother in law has thyroid complications and I carry a lot of the same symptoms. I also researched and have a lot of symptoms of PCOS. So needless to say, I will not be surprised by anything the doctors may find. Although I can't bring forth a lot of answers to people right now due to not knowing myself, I will always be there to support anybody through anything they may be struggling with. Thank you for letting me be a part of the group with open arms =)

Awesome People

I have a really negative post that I have been wanting to post for the last couple days and just haven't gotten around to it.

But now I can't do that because I read the most AMAZING thing on Facebook today. Yes, Facebook.

At first I was upset because I saw that another friend and his girlfriend were at the hospital and she was in labor. They have only been together since November. (insert sad face here)

But as I read the comments following the hospital announcement, my friend stated that they weren't his twins, but that she was a surrogate/gestational carrier for another couple!

That has moved me to the point of tears right now.

You don't hear about people doing that much these days, mainly because it is SOO expensive.

I'll write about surrogate/gestational carrier more on another day.

Just dwell on the love and giving of one woman to another couple.

That is purely amazing.

God's timing

This post isn't specific to infertility, but its semi related... My mother in law lost her biological mother today. They had a strained relationship. Her mother was orphaned as a child. She was never loved and never learned to love. She was mean and hateful to everyone she knew. (this is what I learned of her from my mil). My husband knew her very little, he met her when he was little and from what he remembers he says she was always nice to him and his little sister. Other than that he never got to know her. I understand not knowing a grandparent and wishing you knew them or had a relationship with them. My grandfather on my dads side died when I was 3 months old. I've always wished I got to know him. Especially now that I'm older I learned we had a lot in common. But this isn't about my lost relationships, this is my MIL's loss.
I know she's been looking for her mom and in April she called her to invite her to visit (she lives in Mexico). She said she had no money so my mil asked where to send money to her to come. Her mom got mad for some unknown reason and that was the last time they spoke (as far as I know). My mil had been wanting to visit her for some time now but never actually made the trip. Now it's too late and I can tell she feels bad about it. Idk how to comfort her, I can only imagine the pain she feels for the words she never said and not going when God was nudging her to go.

God nudges and sometimes pushes us to do something. Take every opportunity to talk to someone you are strained with. If they don't want to meet you halfway you can know you tried. Tell people you love them, do the things you might not be able to do tomorrow.
I can honestly say I felt God nudging me to pursue IVF. I have always been on the fence about it and wondering what God would think of it. I prayed on it, and prayed on it. For a long time too. Every time something wouldn't work I would pray "God, is it time for IVF" and the answer was almost always No. Then after our "break" I prayed after my birthday and God said "yes, but don't rush things. Do things when the doctor tells you, take all your medicine exactly like the doctor tells you, do every test and wait that the doctor tells you." God knows I'm impatient and will rush things if I have any control over it whatsoever. So I said... Ok, let's call the doctor. They wanted me to wait for my next period to call them (I was already on cd3 when I called). I could have been pushy and all "schedule me today" but I said oooookay... Then I go the next period and they said "take these birth control pills we have to run tests on you" ...oooooooooooookaaaaay... Then I almost had to have surgery (which would be 12 more waiting weeks) and I almost cried, I prayed "God, I'll be patient, I don't want surgery but ok" the doctor came back and said, 'no, no surgery!' Oh thank you Jesus

Gods timing is always perfect. It's also definitely not in sync with my clock but I guess it's time to sync up with him.

No matter what He's telling you to do, there's a reason. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Take every opportunity He gives you. It might not always be your end result, but it could just be another trial in your journey. Live.Laugh.Love until your time on earth is done.

-Mrs Red

And Another One Bites the Dust!

Today I was Facebook messaging a friend of mine from high school.

A few months ago she had mentioned that after 2 years of trying they still weren't pregnant. The earliest her doctor could get her in to start infertility diagnosis was July.

I remembered that today so I asked how everything went.

She informed me that they did bloodwork and then checked for cysts but she was clear. That before they start to take clomid they wanted to try GNC's Fertility blend for men and women. And after the first month... She is pregnant! Found out yesterday.

Now 2 things:
1) I'm very happy she is pregnant after trying and waiting so long.
2) I'm sad for myself and my DH. I wish it was easier for me to get pregnant.

I mentioned the fertility blend to the DH and said he could take it too which we gladly pointed out that all his swimmers are more than great and he doesn't need to take anything to help. Lovely. Let's point out even more that this is all my "fault" because MY body is the one not working properly.
So. 

http://www.gnc.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2134276

As much as I want to sit on the couch, veg out, play Sims or something... I think I'm going to get on the treadmill. Because, even though it is tough, being fat seems like something easier to fix than my infertility.

Have any of yal tried this or know somebody that did and was successful?

2ww

Mrs Red's update:

Have I ever mentioned I hate waiting.... I'm not a very patient person, I have gotten better because if there's one thing I've had practice with my "fertility", it's patience!
But I still hate waiting! I try to over analyze every little twinge and headache. I want to know already! I want to take a test but what if it's a false positive? What if it's negative and tomorrow they say it is positive? Or what if it's truly negative? I hope all the things I'm feeling are real and not just placebo or side effects from the progesterone in oil...
I really want everything I'm feeling to be real and for the best possible reason ever but I am so afraid it's not. I want to stay positive but 2 weeks is a long time to wait people!!!!
Monday I will go for blood work, pregnancy test, and sono to check my OHSS. I've been feeling worse since Tuesday and it's hard to breathe. Today the hubby said he thinks they might have to drain me because I look really bloated all the way up to my boobs. I'm not sure if I'm offended or not from his observation lol I guess since I'm so uncomfortable and really am bloated I just agree lol. Oh well, let's get through the next few days.

I promised my mom I'd tell her first when the time comes so if it's positive I'll be holding off blogging or texting anyone about it.
I will also hold off blogging or texting if it is negative because I don't know how I'm going to take it. I've semi come to terms with the facts it could be negative but with everything I've been feeling and all the hormone I'm on, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be too sad to want to talk bout it.

Sooooooo, I'm not going to talk about it for a little while :-) quiet time for Mrs Red for a bit

Silent Blogger

When starting this blog with a few friends, I had initially intended to be an informer of PCOS and infertility but didn't know when I would be doing fertility treatments myself. DH and I had decided we would wait til Aug 2012 and go from there on what we wanted to do. Either wait 2 more years until nursing school was over or just steam ahead.

Sometimes other people's decisions affect our own.

As we all know, Mother's Day was last weekend (sorry for the reminder!). Saturday evening the night before, I FINALLY heard back from the nursing school I applied to. I was rejected for the Fall 2012 semester start. Just what I wanted to hear on that weekend, as though it wasn't bad enough.

I didn't know how to react to that. I had expected it, deep down, but still hopeful. Kinda like how I feel whenever I do fertility treatments. Didn't expect it to work but hoped it would.

DH reassured me that everything was ok and this and that. They next morning he picked his words carefully and explained that he viewed it as a sign. Postponing school with no choice, his mom moving out (which isn't happening now...), and summer coming so his second job wouldn't be as stressful was like the pieces coming together. We need to focus on building our family.

So, Monday morning I called my previous OB doctor that also does minor infertility treatments and set an appointment. I expected the standard 2-3 month wait like the first time I went. Imagine my surprise when they said I could be in on THURSDAY!

The days passed and I got giddy and nervous and finally I was at her office.

She is a nice doctor. The only way I can describe her is that she is very professional and sometimes that makes me feel awkward because she doesn't tend to small talk or converse unless promoted, especially if she is entering notes on the laptop (they have a computer file system there). Me, being the socially awkward person in an awkward 1-on-1 situation provided plenty of small talk hoping to make both of us relax and she talked a little more... Anywho...

We discussed my options and she agreed that we would start clomid 50 mg once this cycle of BC was done. Luckily I had decided to start taking it back in January so that ended up cutting off three months of wait time. She also sent a prescription for metformin since it tends to help the clomid out.

I'm excited. AF should start in a week and we will go from there.

How do I feel about all this? Excited. BUT I don't think it will work. I'm hopeful that it will but don't  think it is probable. I guess I'd rather expect the worse so the letdown isn't as hard. We shall see :)

OH! And my insurance doesn't cover ANY infertility, not even clomid so the breakdown:
CVS Pharmacy
Clomid $19.09 for 5 pills (50 mg each) which breaks down to $3.818 per pill
Metformin $1.30 for 1 month (covered by insurance)

Last time we went through this (Spring 2009) Clomid was $18 a pill and generic was $1.80 (Walmart). We decided to just go ahead and splurge on brand name this time :)

It's that day again...

Totally should have bought this tshirt for today.... Jus sayin

We gotta hang in there gals, our day will come....

Your Path is Not Mine

As a woman with PCOS that struggles with infertility and *most* of the symptoms of PCOS, it is hard to remember that my life is special and unique than those around me.

Yes, there are things I want in life, a lot of which I want RIGHT NOW. But I have to constantly remind myself that this is my journey. I can't compare it to others' because their journeys are different. Would I have preferred to be fortunate and get pregnant when we first started? Yes and no. I want a baby but if we had gotten pregnant when we first started almost 4 years ago, we wouldn't have accomplished or acquired what we have. Or we would've had to work even harder for it.

Do I like my path? Not always. Sometimes I wish certain mile-markers would just hurry up and get here. Perhaps I have certain achievements that I am not aware of that need to be finished first. Who knows.

I can tell you that the Hubs & I just shared our 6 year anniversary (not bad for getting married at 19 & 20!), we have a great house, I went back to college and am hoping to be accepted to the Fall nursing program, we have two working vehicles, a family that loves us and supports us, and are generally pretty happy.

I am thankful for that. I know that one day I will have my bundle of joy. Will it be when you do? No. Our paths will be different. You will have your own struggles and achievements. But I wish the best for you and hope that you know what you want out of life other than a baby. Maybe you have certain goals to reach first.

Best of luck!

God is funny

I was talking to my mom and she inadvertently made me feel like a disappointment of a daughter again because we still don't have a baby. I know she didn't mean it, she was just talking, but as more time passes the less she knows how to say things to me... Anyway i was on the way to pick the hubby up from work and feeling like crying my eyes out. I want a baby yesterday, I feel like I'm letting everyone down. Then a song from Third Day came on called Tunnel, and the lyrics at the end of the song hit me, my tears sucked themselves back in and I'm still kind of sad but I'm ok... Because I believe it

Third Day -Tunnel

I won't pretend to know what you're thinking
I can't begin to know what you're going through
I won't deny the pain that you're feeling
But I'm gonna try and give a little hope to you

Just remember what I've told you
There's so much you're living for

[Chorus]
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shinin' bright at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you

So keep holdin' on

You've got your disappointments and sorrows
You ought to share the weight of that load with me
Then you will find that the light of tomorrow
It brings a new life for your eyes to see

So remember what I've told you
There's so much you're living for
[Chorus]
So keep holdin' on
Keep holding on

[Musical Break]

So remember what I've told you
There's so much you're living for
[Chorus] x2
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
Shinin' bright at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
So keep holdin' on
Keep holding on
Keep holding on, now.

You've got your disappointments and sorrows
But I'm gonna try and give a little hope to you


-mrs red

Vacation and starting our IVF journey

I apologize that I haven't been on here much lately. I just returned from vacation 2/19, we were in Arizona (visiting my grandparents) and Las Vegas (with friends) -we had a wonderful and relaxing time. Before we left things were crazy with work and getting our labs done for our IVF pre-screening. So once we returned we had our nephew's baptism and found out from my husband's brother that they are expecting again (nothing like getting back to reality and getting slapped in the face with that right away) I am excited for them, I just wish they would have handled telling us the news better (we were the last ones to know and were told in front of 20+ people.) Anyhow, we had our first IVF start appointment on 2/22, I'm on BC and will be starting Lurpon 2/29. I have my first baseline US on 3/8, hopefully the cyst that is on my left ovary will be gone so we can start stimulation meds on 3/10. So we'll take it one step at at time. I'm so excited because I feel like this is going to work :)

Good luck to all of you who are TTC!!!!
-Ashley

Oldest child, parents eager for grandchildren...

My parents can't WAIT to be grandparents. They had hopes that we'd be pregnant as soon as we got back from the honeymoon... Much to everyone's disappointment 5 years later, my parents still don't have any grandchildren... Well my brothers gf has a 5 year old and I swear my mom acts like its her new granddaughter. They even bought her a swing set! And if you haven't priced those lately... Whoooo doggy, it's extravagant for your son's GIRLFRIEND's child. But whatev... Then school was starting and they bought her a bunch of school clothes and supplies and around the same time, my mom was suddenly too busy for anything to do with me. I don't think she realizes it but it really hurts me. Every time I call all I get is "I'm busy, what's up?" or "I'm ::doing something:: with/for your brother/his gf, do u need something?" or "your dad just got home I'll call you later" or the greatest "your brother/dad is calling I'll call you back".
I know they want to be grandparents and I'm sorry my body doesn't work the way it should but seriously? This girl is not our family, she is not my brothers child, they are not her grandparents. My mom has a picture of her on her desk at work. And Super Bowl Sunday she made a side comment about how she misses her. I feel like I don't care anymore to her. And I don't know how to tell her how I feel. So I'll just sit here and cry about it because I don't have anything else I can do about it.


-MrsRed

Mrs Red's story

Well my first visit from the angry aunt was when I was about 11, I didn't know it was it because it wasn't much but I was sooooooo sick and cramping like crazy for a whole 2 months after. It was in the summer time so I didn't complain too much then I got a crazy visit... Then I had semi regular cycles but everytime it would come I'd have to miss school because it was so heavy and I was so sick. Then one day around 14 it stopped coming regularly... My mom took me to the doctor and they gave me birth control to regulate it. I took it for 3 months at a time until I was about 16, then they recommended I just keep taking it since they weren't regulating with the 3 month tries. Right before I turned 18 I didn't have a cycle for months. My mom took me to the doctor because she thought I was pregnant... I had a boyfriend, who I ended up marrying 4 years later but no I wasn't pregnant. They told me in march of 2002 I possibly had endometriosis and maybe PCOS. This was the base doctors so they did a half butt job diagnosing me. Thy recommended I go back on BC and I told my mom what's the point? I didn't need it and if I wasn't going to have a cycle why stress about a little pill? So I went off.

I met my husband February 2002 while we were working together at the grocery store. I had a HUGE crush on him the minute I saw him. Apparently we had been working together since September but I never noticed... He was a good Christian boy and just a few weeks before I had just accepted Jesus into my life. We talked when we worked together and I old my friends at school how cute he was. Then in march I saw him on my way to work at the end of my street unloading chairs off a truck. later that day he walked into the store with his dad and uncle and I asked him who's house that was and he said it was his parents! So we talked and at the end of April we were bf/gf. We dated until February 2006 when we got engaged. We never lived together the whole time we were dating and decided to keep it that way til we for married. In march we started building our first house. In September I moved into his house because his family believes you live with your parents until you are married and mine were more... You are driving us nuts move out! Lol I actually have a better relationship with my parents not living with them. Anyway we had a short engagement and got married in November. No, not because I was pregnant, but because we were both ready to start a family.

As soon as we got married we were trying to start a family. I went to a doctor in may and there started alllllllll my lovely fertility treatments. I'll go into those on separate posts but it has been a long bumpy emotional rollercoaster and I do not wish it on ANYONE! Anyone suffering with it that wishes it on someone else has some serious issues to work on. I am however semi thankful that I am not alone in this and that there are others going through it. Support is the best key to get through this. So is humor.so I laugh I cry and I go about it day by day hoping one day I will have my own little snot nosed little squirmy bundle of joy :-)