Wow... A 28 day cycle. I've never had one of those! Lately I've been doing some research about some different herbs and OTC pills that I can take to help regulate my hormones. This month I had a 28 day cycle! I'm not sure if I ovulated or not because of course, the battery in my thermometer goes out on cd13. I'm having mixed emotions about af showing. I'm sad that we aren't expecting, ok that I didn't waste another hpt, and excited that I might have found a good combination for my body. It gives me hope.
Right now I'm taking vitex, Dong Quai, green tea, b6, b12, and inositol. It's a lot to take in the morning and night. But its better than the needles! So far I haven't had any major mood swings, hot flashes, or nausea that are rumored to accompany some of the pills. DH is happy that I'm not having any major mood swings, but I won't lie, there have been some minor outbreaks where I want to claw someone's eyes out(don't we all have those?). Other than that I'm feeling great!
This month I'm adding a prenatal to the mix, and keeping our fingers crossed!
Some people don't understand PCOS and what it can cause. It doesn't just affect your ovaries, but your whole body. About 56% of women with PCOS are overweight or obese. Not everyone but it is very common. And those of us that are overweight have an EXTREMELY difficult time just to lose a pound. We can't completely blame the PCOS, but it is definitely a factor.
The symptoms of PCOS can vary from woman to woman. Some of the symptoms of PCOS include:
Infertility (not able to get pregnant) because of
not ovulating. In fact, PCOS is the most common cause of female
infertility.
Infrequent, absent, and/or irregular menstrual periods
Hirsutism (HER-suh-tiz-um) — increased hair growth on the face, chest, stomach, back, thumbs, or toes
Sleep apnea — when breathing stops for short periods of time while asleep
Of the above I have the following:
Infertility due to anovulation
Absent or infrequent periods
Hirsutism of everywhere listed but back and thumbs
Cysts on ovaries
Acne, oily skin, and dandruff
Weight gain/obesity
Hair has DEFINITELY thinned since high school
Occasional skin tags
And maybe some anxiety
As you can see, I don't have all of the symptoms and others may not have the same ones I do. But PCOS is definitely a contributor to all of these. AND just because you have the symptoms doesn't mean you have PCOS. If you think you do you need to get checked by a physician.
And I am at the same spot I was in spring of 2009 when we stopped the clomid after 100mg. Just the feeling that it isn't going to happen. Disappointed failure and that treatments worth pointless.
I have to remind myself that it isn't going to be easy and that I have to keep going. That isn't as easy as some might think. I wish I could get pregnant like most normal people and not worry about if I will even get AF to get pregnant (I am currently on CD52... further proof I didn't ovulate).
I'm now 26. I know that most of my friends aren't married or they don't have kids and may not for years. But I also know that most of them don't have these complications.
I don't know what to do anymore.
You can pray for me but please don't tell me to pray. I know that most of our readers and writer's are very Christian but I am struggling with what I believe and have been for a while now.
"I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights, I don't know...
Well, that is it guys, that is all - five minutes in and I'm bored again
Ten years of this, I'm not sure if anybody understands"
Some Nights - FUN
I didn't even realize when I wrote my entry yesterday, the significance of the CD.
CD 30. To me it is normal and I will probably get to CD 50 before my cycle starts.
But to most normal women, by CD30 they are actually on CD2.
Kinda sucked when that realization hit. I doubt I am pregnant and knowing I didn't get my period makes the realization that I didn't ovulate even worse.
Oh well. Such is the life and the means to achieve what we want!
On a different note... Today's 7pm-7am shift is kicking my butt. It has been a roller coaster since the shift started! Hope you night and work day goes a bit smoother than mine did!
So today is day 18 which means that tomorrow I go and get blood drawn to check my progesterone levels.
This cycle I have been doing the at home OPK (ovulation predictor kit) like last time. Here is a comparison from last cycle and this cycle (so far):
50mg Clomid Cycle
100mg Clomid Cycle
I did a second test on 8/8 in the afternoon just to see how results varied. Really wish I hadn't forgotten on 8/2 and 8/3 but I only like to use the first urine sample of the day. My temps are still all over the place.
Don't know what to expect about the blood draw for tomorrow and I hate that it will take me almost a week to find out the results!
Today is CD19. I had to go in to get bloodwork done to check my progesterone levels (to see if I ovulated).
After seeing my home LH tests... I have no hope that I ovulated. Here is the pic from CD9 (last day of clomid) to today:
(I was kinda dehydrated for the one that is yellower than the rest)
Kind of a downer on my day.
And I did this during lunch time so afterward I stopped at BK on the way back... And the lady in the drive-thru was pregnant. Lovely.
Day hasn't gotten much better. I know what the results are going to say.
This is honestly the hardest part of infertility: trying to remain hopeful even though, time and time again, it just doesn't happen. And I don't just have my battle with PCOS, I don't ovulate PERIOD.
On my mind has been this song (below). A friend put it on facebook and I think of husband throughout the song. But there are certain verses and parts of the chorus that make me think of this infertility journey. Enjoy :)
In the last 24 hours I have heard of TWO new myths that are supposed to help ovulation. I want to try them.
The first one I heard about was LICORICE (or licorice root). Yes. Supposedly taken for five days in your cycle and it is supposed to help. But they say it doesn't matter WHEN in the cycle.... I haven't found it yet but going to Walmart tomorrow and will look there. I know they sell it online (I don't like the flavor of licorice, so would rather take a vitamin). Supposed to help with depression too... Maybe something some of us could use after years in this cycle.
Second was a swig of Robitussin a total of 6 days (five before ovulation and the day of). Even says you can take it with Clomid but to take it after you take the last pill. It is supposed to help the cervical mucus become more fertility-friendly, especially since Clomid tends to do the opposite. Read about it here!!
Since I take my last Clomid tomorrow, I might buy some Robitussin and give it a shot. I can't STAND liquid medicine but I'm sure I can make a sacrifice for this goal :o)
Maybe because I've never really taken them at the right time or maybe because true only times I've taken them I've been on fertility meds but omg you would think they would be easier to use! Basically it's this stick that is very similar to a pregnancy test, u pee on it an 2 lines appear, only instead of "2 lines mean positive" you have to become a color expert and distinguish between shades of blue! If the test line is darker than the control line then you have an LH surge (something hormone, can't remember what it's called but u get a surge of it right before you ovulate). Ok then theres the whole thing on what time of day to take it, you have to do it at the same time everyday because the hormone only sticks around for 24 hours before u ovulate... I found ovulation kits stressful an no longer use them. There are things that say to take it between 3 & 5 pm which idk bout u but in at work and I'm not gonna do that at work! Lol then some things say any time of day an I think I even saw between 10 am & 12 pm... -__- between timing and the shades of blue... I give up on these! And then basal body temperature... Have u tried keeping up with that? Don't move don't talk don't wait to long don't don't don't don't... Yeah I wake up too many times at night then the first thing in the morning is morning kiss and then good morning... Then I'm half asleep to remember the thermometer and then it falls and so I move and there goes that days measurement... Ima just hope I ovulate one day and see how that goes lol
