2ww

Mrs Red's update:

Have I ever mentioned I hate waiting.... I'm not a very patient person, I have gotten better because if there's one thing I've had practice with my "fertility", it's patience!
But I still hate waiting! I try to over analyze every little twinge and headache. I want to know already! I want to take a test but what if it's a false positive? What if it's negative and tomorrow they say it is positive? Or what if it's truly negative? I hope all the things I'm feeling are real and not just placebo or side effects from the progesterone in oil...
I really want everything I'm feeling to be real and for the best possible reason ever but I am so afraid it's not. I want to stay positive but 2 weeks is a long time to wait people!!!!
Monday I will go for blood work, pregnancy test, and sono to check my OHSS. I've been feeling worse since Tuesday and it's hard to breathe. Today the hubby said he thinks they might have to drain me because I look really bloated all the way up to my boobs. I'm not sure if I'm offended or not from his observation lol I guess since I'm so uncomfortable and really am bloated I just agree lol. Oh well, let's get through the next few days.

I promised my mom I'd tell her first when the time comes so if it's positive I'll be holding off blogging or texting anyone about it.
I will also hold off blogging or texting if it is negative because I don't know how I'm going to take it. I've semi come to terms with the facts it could be negative but with everything I've been feeling and all the hormone I'm on, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be too sad to want to talk bout it.

Sooooooo, I'm not going to talk about it for a little while :-) quiet time for Mrs Red for a bit

Some Good Infertility Quotes

“If a tree falls in the forest, can anyone hear it? If an infertile bangs her head against the wall in a bathroom at a baby shower, can anyone hear her?”

 “Millions of couples suffer from infertility, so why the f$ck is everyone pregnant but me?”

 “Nature has got it all wrong: When you are younger, it should be harder to get pregnant, and as you get older it should be easier. When you are so ready, you can’t do it to save your life. And when you are 21, you are so not ready, but you are ripe as could be. The eggs should become more developed the older you get, not die slowly from the day you’re born. That’s one thing God got wrong.” – Halle Berry

Inspirational book title:  - The Facebook Story: I just deleted all my pregnant friends.

 If curiosity killed the cat, than the infertile can shoot eye pistols at the fertile who conceived on her first attempt.

“You know you are trying to get pregnant when: Someone asks you today’s date and you reply “Day 21.” -Melissa

“You know you have been TTC too long when you open the fridge door and immediately get angry at the eggs in the carton…. or jealous.” -Tiffany

 “QUESTIONER: “Wow, I didn’t know you were married that long. How many kids do you have?” ME: “None. They’re on backorder. I ordered them, like, forever ago. I don’t know, they must be out of stock.” -Rachel



Gotten from :  http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/

Timing Timing Timing

For the last several months I have been thinking about when we will try again for a baby.

Originally we decided to wait until I started nursing school, based on the hope that it would be the Spring or Fall 2012 semester.

We made that decision a while ago, when I had initially planned on applying in Aug/Sept 2011 for the Spring 2012 start. I ended up not being able to apply because I couldn't take the entry test due to all the dates being full.

In the meantime I took additional classes like medical terminology and a certified nursing assistant course. I just finished the CNA course on March 1st (as valedictorian!) and submitted my nursing application for the Fall 2012 start on February 27th.

I was annoyed at that additional delay. Then I started thinking... Always a bad thing.

Nursing school is 2 years long. I have a feeling, deep in my gut, that if I am accepted for the Fall 2012 start, we actually won't start trying until the 2nd year of school, that way I'm done when we start trying.

I know it's smart, but it tears at my heart. I know we have to see how it goes... but still...

~Shannon

Question #27

27. If you had known that you would have trouble conceiving, what would you have done differently in life? If you already knew, did that knowledge affect your other life choices?

Shannon:

I would have hoped to catch this sooner before it progressed as far as it has. Granted, I found out at 21, so it wasn't very late in the process. I do wish that I had stayed in college and gotten that out of the way. By now I would have a great paying job and be able to afford the treatments. Not waiting for more treatments after schooling is half way through :/

Mrs Red:

I probably would have been a lot more careful with credit debt, stayed off of birth control (I think it made it worse), and gone to an RE right away.


Ashley:
I would have tried much harder to get pregnant in the first three months after coming off birth control pills, and I would have went to a RE right away instead of wasting a whole year with my GYN doing metformin for 9 months (which didn't help me at all) and clomid for 3 (didn't work). I think if I would have known before I got married it could have changed things for the worse - I often feel guilty I'm putting my husband through this. So I'm glad we found out after we were married.

"Surprise!..."

When you are struggling with fertility, there are a few things that you dread hearing. And the list is long.

However, I'm going to talk about pregnancy announcements from other people.

I've had a few in this journey (I don't know many people having kids yet). Some expected, some not.

We will start with September 2009.
I was at work at my data entry/callcenter job. You aren't supposed to have your phone but I also have mine tucked into a drawer where I can barely see it incase of an emergency. I get a text from my husband's ex-stepsister. It reads the following: "We're pregnant after only a month of trying!" That sent me to the bathroom to cry a bit. I congratulated her.... She eventually told me it was a mass text and she was trying to shove it in her family's faces. We saw them a couple times throughout the pregnancy and they stayed over a night or two. A week after their son was born, we went to see him. He was cute. I didn't cry. Hubs couldn't hold him. Said it was too hard on him. It took him MONTHS to hold him. As in FOUR months.

Fast forward to August 2010.
I went to dinner with a friend because I was expecting a pregnancy announcement from the SIL. During the meal I got an email from a cousin with an "It's a Girl!" announcement... SUPRISE! That hit but since I rarely saw them it wasn't drastic. I was just surprised that I knew I would get a pregnancy announcement, even though it wasn't from the one I was expecting.

September 2010-Infertile Couple's Luck!
A couple that we knew that had been struggling to get pregnant for the last 2 years was pregnant!!! Yay!!! Their announcement didn't bother me. They had struggled. I felt so happy that what they had waited for for SOOO long was finally happening!

October 2010.
It was evening time and I was on the treadmill while hubs was at work. This was before I would go with him any time I had open and help. I had 45 minutes down, 15 left... And I got a text. "We're pregnant! Finally". Yes... Finally... because trying for 1-2 months is FOREVER to wait. Hubs called to make sure I was ok. I was still calm and on the treadmill. Ended up going 15 minutes longer than my goal... Then went in the guest/future nursery and cried. Then I felt stupid crying for myself and pulled it together. When Hubs came home I tried to act normal but he sees right through that and he just held me while I cried. We both took the next day off and made a step towards going to the RE that was recommended to us. Over the next 6 months we hung out and I got to watch her belly grow and tried to be friend's and go walking with her and to the mall. I remember crying at Christmas over the dinner prayer because I saw her husband holding her with his hands on her belly and I felt like a complete and utter failure. That is a story for another time. As is the following in April 2010 when Max was born at 28 weeks (she was in hospital for 6 weeks) and passed the following morning from an infection.


November 2011-Birthday Announcement
I had been very observant since about August. I had figured that with the 6 month standard wait period that the SIL would be trying again. And our A/C had gone out in August and I saw a used pregnancy box in their garage when they let us stay the night. Early/middle of November she mentioned that they were only having sex when she was ovulating. Then they went on vacation. Thanksgiving I noticed that her husband said, quietly, "already got that brain" when she forgot something. I was the only one nearby. Her birthday dinner was that weekend and I noticed that she had a glass of wine but barely drank half in a two hour period. NOT like her at all. They decided to play "telephone" to make the announcement that she was pregnant again. Having expected it, I was happy for them. The week after New Year's 2012 she had a miscarriage.

There is a word of advice to either give friend's or to keep in mind: If you need to make a pregnancy announcement, try to keep in mind those that have struggled and break it to them nicely and privately. Even if by text. Sometimes wording can make ALL the difference. As can a heads up. That way you can get the appropriate happy reaction!

~Shannon