"Surprise!..."

When you are struggling with fertility, there are a few things that you dread hearing. And the list is long.

However, I'm going to talk about pregnancy announcements from other people.

I've had a few in this journey (I don't know many people having kids yet). Some expected, some not.

We will start with September 2009.
I was at work at my data entry/callcenter job. You aren't supposed to have your phone but I also have mine tucked into a drawer where I can barely see it incase of an emergency. I get a text from my husband's ex-stepsister. It reads the following: "We're pregnant after only a month of trying!" That sent me to the bathroom to cry a bit. I congratulated her.... She eventually told me it was a mass text and she was trying to shove it in her family's faces. We saw them a couple times throughout the pregnancy and they stayed over a night or two. A week after their son was born, we went to see him. He was cute. I didn't cry. Hubs couldn't hold him. Said it was too hard on him. It took him MONTHS to hold him. As in FOUR months.

Fast forward to August 2010.
I went to dinner with a friend because I was expecting a pregnancy announcement from the SIL. During the meal I got an email from a cousin with an "It's a Girl!" announcement... SUPRISE! That hit but since I rarely saw them it wasn't drastic. I was just surprised that I knew I would get a pregnancy announcement, even though it wasn't from the one I was expecting.

September 2010-Infertile Couple's Luck!
A couple that we knew that had been struggling to get pregnant for the last 2 years was pregnant!!! Yay!!! Their announcement didn't bother me. They had struggled. I felt so happy that what they had waited for for SOOO long was finally happening!

October 2010.
It was evening time and I was on the treadmill while hubs was at work. This was before I would go with him any time I had open and help. I had 45 minutes down, 15 left... And I got a text. "We're pregnant! Finally". Yes... Finally... because trying for 1-2 months is FOREVER to wait. Hubs called to make sure I was ok. I was still calm and on the treadmill. Ended up going 15 minutes longer than my goal... Then went in the guest/future nursery and cried. Then I felt stupid crying for myself and pulled it together. When Hubs came home I tried to act normal but he sees right through that and he just held me while I cried. We both took the next day off and made a step towards going to the RE that was recommended to us. Over the next 6 months we hung out and I got to watch her belly grow and tried to be friend's and go walking with her and to the mall. I remember crying at Christmas over the dinner prayer because I saw her husband holding her with his hands on her belly and I felt like a complete and utter failure. That is a story for another time. As is the following in April 2010 when Max was born at 28 weeks (she was in hospital for 6 weeks) and passed the following morning from an infection.


November 2011-Birthday Announcement
I had been very observant since about August. I had figured that with the 6 month standard wait period that the SIL would be trying again. And our A/C had gone out in August and I saw a used pregnancy box in their garage when they let us stay the night. Early/middle of November she mentioned that they were only having sex when she was ovulating. Then they went on vacation. Thanksgiving I noticed that her husband said, quietly, "already got that brain" when she forgot something. I was the only one nearby. Her birthday dinner was that weekend and I noticed that she had a glass of wine but barely drank half in a two hour period. NOT like her at all. They decided to play "telephone" to make the announcement that she was pregnant again. Having expected it, I was happy for them. The week after New Year's 2012 she had a miscarriage.

There is a word of advice to either give friend's or to keep in mind: If you need to make a pregnancy announcement, try to keep in mind those that have struggled and break it to them nicely and privately. Even if by text. Sometimes wording can make ALL the difference. As can a heads up. That way you can get the appropriate happy reaction!

~Shannon