Back in high school I could never picture myself in college or married. I thought that it meant I wouldn't make it that far in life.
I actually got married a little less than 2 years after graduating high school.
We have been TTC for almost 5 years now. And as I watch friends have babies and as I want a baby more and more every minute of every day, I can't seem to picture myself as a mom.
I watch friends and how they have changed and adjusted and are "mommies" and I just don't see the same picture for myself. I can't picture myself with a baby on my hip or chasing around a toddler. All of that is very surreal to me and makes me wonder if maybe it just isn't meant to be.
Maybe that is one of the realities of TTC. We have to accept that, God forbid, it may just not be our path. We hope with all our might that it will be, but it is almost like a grieving process for TTC. If you accept it as a possibility, it doesn't seem like it will hurt as much if it does become actuality.
Maybe that is just me.
I want to picture myself with babies and toddlers and kids and being called "mom". But the image just doesn't come to my head.
I hope everyone else is doing ok. We have a lot of new likes on the facebook page and hopefully we will get a lot more followers of the blog as well.
Shannon, we are in the same boat. I am not legally married but have been with DH since HS. After so many years I start to wonder if I will be a good mother. Then I realize it is just part of the grieving process of TTC. You try to lessen the ache if it came to the fact that maybe it wont happen. Dont think it is not meant to be because look at all other women who are drug addicts, child abusers, etc and they have a child. Those women arent meant to have a child but it happens. We just have to keep holding on to that little bit of hope that we have.
ReplyDeleteI was just teling Daniel the other day that its just so hard for me to picture myself as a mom now. I used to picture myself with a house full of children. But at this point I honestly believe that I'll be full of dogs before children. I really hope that down the line we will come back to this post and start laughing because we couldn't picture ourselves as moms. :)
ReplyDeleteWell I understand what your saying about how its hard to picture yourself with kids being a reality. However, I dont necessarily think that means that it isn't meant to be. Afterall, you said you used to never be able to picture yourself married or in college. I know this journey (especially how long it is taking everybody), takes a toll on everyone. However, I still firmly believe there is hope and it will happen. I agree with Jessica. I really hope we can look back on this smiling because our dreams turned into reality =D
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