At this point I feel so insecure about my body. When I stopped taking BCP I was 135 lbs. I probably gained 10lbs in the year that I was off of them before DH and I actually started TTC. in the 3.5 years that we have been TTC I have went from 145 to 206. :'( It has become a big issue for me. I've tried to get myself motivated to work out... To eat right. Its almost that I'm so depressed about having PCOS and not being able to have a baby that I can't motivate myself to get up and work out. I just want to lay in bed, eat ice cream or chips and watch old TV shows that remind me of when I was little. I have gained enough weight to have HAD a baby... but their is no baby to go along with the weight. Its depressing!
Shannon's post last night made me think about a couple of nights ago when I was telling DH that I just can't picture our lives as parents. I can't see my self as a mom. I can't see myself having baby toys around the house instead of dog toys. I just have a sinking feeling that maybe I'm not ever supposed to be pregnant. Maybe I'm not supposed to ever get to experience birth and feel a baby move inside me (yes I am one of those weird people that really REALLY wants to be in Labor, without drugs!). DH and I had a talk several months ago about adoption. We've decided that if we don't have kids and aren't expecting that when I turn 28 we will start the process of adoption.
How do you guys maintain your weight? I know that having PCOS can cause you to gain weight and can make you have a hard time with loosing the weight? Any tips on how to get motivated and get out of bed? I am determined to make 2013 better than 2012!
I feel you on the weight gain =( I went from 123 (I was skinny!!) to 200 =( Thats over 75 pounds! ugh. Same thing also, never motivated. Can barley get myself to do much of anything. My biggest problem is Im always SOOO tired. I really hope my labs come back with some answers. Anyways, Im sorry your feeling this way =( I know this journey (especially how long it is taking everybody), takes a toll on everyone. However, I still firmly believe there is hope and it will happen. I really hope we can look back on this smiling because our dreams turned into reality =D I understand the decision you and you dh came to about if not pregnant by 28 to start the process of adoption. Praying for you. Hopefully all this pain ends for all of us very soon and we can all have discussions about our children =)
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