Some New Changes!!!

Changes to the blog, not me personally :o)

Fighting for Fertility officially has a twitter! You can find us by the email: f4ftweets@fighting4fertility.org.in or by the name @Fight4Fertility

Also, we each have individual emails that you can contact us by if you have questions::
Shannon - PCOS, inexpensive options, vitamins:
shannonw@fighting4fertility.org.in

Steph aka Mrs. Red - IVF success, clomid:
stephaniet@fighting4fertility.org.in

Ashley - IVF success, mom of twins:
ashleyh@fighting4fertility.org.in

Molly - PCOS:
mollyk@fighting4fertility.org.in

Sheila - vitamins, undiagnosed:
sheilah@fighting4fertility.org.in

Jessica - PCOS, vitamins:
jessicad@fighting4fertility.org.in

Leah - PCOS, fibromyalgia, fostering, adoption:
leahb@fighting4fertility.org.in

Don't forget! You can also find us on Facebook!

Ashley's Twin Boys' Arrival!

Well, on November 11, 2012 (35w4d) we had our two beautiful and perfect little boys.  I woke up early with leaking and we went in at 8:30am.  They tested the fluid to make sure it was amniotic fluid  and it was.  I was 3 cm dilated and 100% effaced. I wasn't having active contractions, just contractions like I had been having for the past 13 weeks.  By 2:45pm I was 5cm and they broke baby A's water completely.  I kept walking around and a half hour after they broke baby A's water I started to have very active contractions.  I got in shower to get some releaf.  At 4:15pm they checked me again I was still 5cm and I asked for some thing to just take the edge of my contractions off.  So they gave me a shot of newbain.  I got into bed and asked for two heating pads and then tried to just rest.  After 1/2 hour I was 8cm and had the urge to push then 3 more contractions and I was complete!  The doctor couldn't believe it, and she thought I would be pushing for a while too since this was my first delivery.  Well they called the surgery team in because I was delivering twins vaginally they have to be there incase baby B would turn breech and need to have a c-section.  For 20 min. they told me not to push- which was harder then having the boys!  So finally I said I couldn't NOT push anymore.  The doctor checked and said Oh, well there's a head yes next contraction push.  So I pushed for 10-15 min. and baby A was out at 5:53pm!  They put him on me and I was in shock I couldn't believe he was here and I was holding him.  I started to cry and kiss him.  While I was holding baby A they used the ultrasound to check and see that baby B was still in position.  Two pushes and he was out at 6:01pm!  We got to hold both of them right a way. 

Baby A - 4lbs 11oz 17" long, we named him Ross Steven
Baby B - 3lbs 15oz 16.5" long, we named him Liam Ray

We are all doing great.  They boys actually spent the night with us the first night and then were taken up to the NICU so they could make sure they were regulating their body temp. and grow. 
Ross was released at 4 days old, but Liam had to be over 4lbs before he was released so he was released at 7 days old.  We stayed in the NICU the whole time until Liam was released because we couldn't leave one behind.  My husbands birthday was Nov. 18 the day we got to come home.  The best birhtday present he could ask for. 


Everyone is doing great and we are loving every moment with them!
I think of you all every day and I look at them knowing that all the months of NOTHING happening, all the months of failure, and all the thousands of dollars spent was COMPLETELY worth it and I would go through it all again to have them. You can do it! Don't lose HOPE and FAITH.

Shocked!

Wow... A 28 day cycle. I've never had one of those! Lately I've been doing some research about some different herbs and OTC pills that I can take to help regulate my hormones. This month I had a 28 day cycle! I'm not sure if I ovulated or not because of course, the battery in my thermometer goes out on cd13. I'm having mixed emotions about af showing. I'm sad that we aren't expecting, ok that I didn't waste another hpt, and excited that I might have found a good combination for my body. It gives me hope.
Right now I'm taking vitex, Dong Quai, green tea, b6, b12, and inositol. It's a lot to take in the morning and night. But its better than the needles! So far I haven't had any major mood swings, hot flashes, or nausea that are rumored to accompany some of the pills. DH is happy that I'm not having any major mood swings, but I won't lie, there have been some minor outbreaks where I want to claw someone's eyes out(don't we all have those?). Other than that I'm feeling great!
This month I'm adding a prenatal to the mix, and keeping our fingers crossed!

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False alarm

Well, it wasn't implantation that I was feeling. Af showed up on Monday with a vengeance. I was SO convinced this was it. Oh we'll, just trying to recooperate!

Implantation?

Just curious if anyone had any thoughts on implantation cramping?! I'm 6dpo today and had cramping tonight that woke me up from a nap. It was on my lower right abdomen. It lasted about 10 minutes and now it's gone! I'm not sure if that's what it was but I'm SO hoping! This 2ww is making me lose my mind!

Fertilitea?

The other day I was down in the dumps.

Found out I was rejected from the nursing program... again... and had a BFN... again.

So I did a Google search on natural ways to ovulate, etc.

One link showed up a fertility tea, Fertilitea. It was founded by a Dr etc... Well, I googled the doctor and he actually works in New York City and is very accredited in this area.

One month supply is just under $15.

I read the reviews and comments. The good and the bad. Read all the ones from people who have/had PCOS. Many said it worked, some said they still didn't get pregnant but that they did get their period. A TON of the comments said they got pregnant on it. Even after years of no success (before starting tea).

I'm willing to try it. I'm not a huge fan of hot tea but you can drink it cold too.

Who knows. Maybe it will help.

I sure do hope so because I want kids. As in yesterday.

Fertilitea

Ovulating!

Thank GOODNESS! I started my third round of Clomid this cycle (100 mg cd 3-7) and today is cycle day 17 and I have the darkest, most positive opk I've EVER had...not to mention sore boobs and tons of abdominal cramping...all good signs I hope! We've been intimate every other day AND using pressed everytime so I'm really hoping, praying, and crossing my fingers that this will work. As exited as I am...I just know I'll be that mucho te devastated if I'm not. Bring on the anxiety!! If I'm not pregnant this time then I go back into the doctors office and discuss doing the hsg dye test. $$$$

Shocking possibility of an opportunity?

Sooo....this was totally unexpected but...let me get on with it.  Shawn's (my dh) cousin had a baby last October 30th when she was 14 just shy of 15. Which makes her 15 now, just shy of 16 and her son just turned a year old. I guess she told Shawns uncle that she was going to give him up for adoption (but its not a for sure thing yet) but anyways so my inlaws were over last night telling us about this. Then I made a comment like "Im sorry to sound so mean and bitter, but why can children like that have children and I cant?" and then my mother in law said something that blew my mind. She said "well yeah I was thinking about that, and I thought if she did give him up that it would be nice if he could go to somebody and still be in the family" Obviously implying Shawn and I. Im not sure how I feel about this at all. The idea in alot of ways sounds nice. I want children more than anything, and I do want to be able to have one that is biologically Shawn and mine, but maybe the timing isnt for right now (I know Im going to have one, thats another big long thing I need to blog about that I cant believe I have not done yet). But I just have so many thoughts...I know adoption is expensive and you need to meet a lot of requirements, am I even going to meet those standards? Its going to be a huge adjustment for him, we havent really seen him that much. Am I going to be able to immediatly go from one night not having children to the next day having a toddler I know nothing about? What if I get pregnant right after this? Will I be able to handle two children so close in age? Do I really want to do this? What if she doesnt go through with it and I get my hopes up?....Now that I think about it I had a dream like two weeks ago that one of my friends who is pregnant begged me to adopt her baby. Granted its not the same person, or situation...but is this why I had the dream.....My thoughts are so clustered and I have no idea what to think or do...

Does Infertility Make Rejection Worse?

A few updates for you:
~Yesterday was Halloween (aw...kids in costumes... TEAR FEST!)
~Halloween its my husband's favorite holiday
~Yesterday was CD38
~Hoping the above connections would be lucky I took a HPT
~HPT = BFN
~Nursing application for Spring 2013? REJECTED (2nd time)
~A friend had her baby today... and she even took plan B!
~My furbaby had nine puppies!!!
My point to all of this??
Each rejection feels like your world is falling apart.
Having kids should be life's one guarantee, if we choose. When you can't succeed at THAT you feel like there is nothing you can succeed at.
Maybe I just need a nap... and a drink.

6 months later, bombshell (maybe I'm being dramatic...)

Kaboooooooom!!!

My heart hurts.

So when we did the IVF we made the decision at that time to do cryopreservation, whether it was 1 egg or 20 eggs. Insurance doesn't cover it so its $750 on top of all the rest of the procedure costs. We signed the forms and were told the $750 would cover the freezing and the storage for 1 year.

And the bomb that got dropped....
I check my email yesterday, no reason at all just wanting to see if we got any comments on the blog and if anyone else posted and I have an email from my fertility clinic.... That's odd... It's a blank email with 2 attachments. The first one is consent to discard embryos... WHAT?! So I download the second an its consent to transfer embryos.... Ok this attachment at least has a letter with some explanation talking about using a 3rd party to store the embryos. They want a $45 transfer fee to transfer the embryos to them initially and when we are ready for them they don't charge to transfer back. Ok, that's ok... And then there's a section about storage fees, which were less than the $750 we were expecting to pay again so that's cool, but there is no mention on when we have to pay it.

So I called today and apparently this plan had been in action since April of this year, what?! We were supposed to have been told in May that this was going to happen but guess what? We weren't... Now we have until the end of November to come up with the money to transfer and store our embryos or we have to decide to discard them.

We are in the home stretch of having to make sure we have everything for baby, and now we have to come up with more money to make sure my eggs aren't just thrown out? If we knew this in May we would have been able to save money specifically for this. My husband says its fine and we'll be ok and we will be able to pay it but it hurts me that we are being hit with this now.

I'm so thankful my procedure worked for me the first time but I honestly don't think I could go through a retrieval again, and then them putting embryos back while my ovaries are blown up 20x their normal size. I don't know if I could do that part again. So I really can't stand the thought of losing my embabies right now. This is all still so fresh and now I'm exhausted.

Read everything and ask questions, and hope they tell you the truth. Apparently not the whole staff was informed of this in may and that's here the ball was dropped. I still swear by my fertility clinic because they were awesome, but this was just not something I was looking forward to hearing right now....

-Mrs Red