FET 2WW

So I got my protocol back for the FET. I took birth control for a month and on cd 21 I started 2 weeks of Lupron injections. Then about a week later went for blood work and a baseline sono. Then started putting on estrogen patches in a very calculated plan. Building up to 4 patches changed out every 72 hrs. Then had my transfer this week where we transferred 2 beautiful blasts. I took the day of the transfer off of work and have been working from home the rest of the week. The hardest part has been that DH has been having to take DD to daycare while he goes to work and I have to wait for him to get out to see her. Luckily we work at the same company with an onsite daycare so I know it's not a long wait for her when he gets out but he works long days. I hate that she's there for that long but I cannot lift her right now and am supposed to be laying down. All day except to pee. I took a Valium before the procedure which was prescribed by the RE and I needed it! Sure did make me a little loopy but it was ok. My transfer was about 45 mins late because my bladder wasn't filling up. After 4 bottles of water we were finally ready. I should have opted for the catheter afterwards because I was FULL! Lol but we made it through. I went home and slept. I've been very bored being at home not interacting with people and hiding this secret that I'm not at work from my parents and Facebook. Lol. My beta day is May 4 which happens to be the day of retrieval 3 years ago which resulted in my DD. I'm hoping that we get lucky again and we have a sticky baby again.

Back in the saddle

I'm back! I've had some survivors guilt after my successful ivf because I know I got lucky. It doesn't work for everyone on the first try and it did for us. But getting pregnant didn't change the way my body acts... Much... I actually have semi regular periods now! They're 35ish days but much more frequent than before. But the doctor confirmed that I'm still not ovulating. Which sucks. I still have PCOS and I do not ovulate. Awesome. We have been not trying not preventing since having our miracle and then I stopped breadtfeeding when she was 18 months which is when I finally got a period. And I thought maybe I was ovulating but nope. My husband hasn't been ready to go back to the RE until my bday last month. We went to a festival and he told me there he's ready to actively try. Just when I decided to work on my weight he decided to get serious about trying again. Now I didn't gain a lot of weight pregnant and actually stayed at or below my pre pregnancy weight until the holidays! I gained about 6 lbs so I joined weight watchers to start losing weight and the next day he said to make an appointment at the RE. Work has been really busy so I kept putting it off for like 3 days of him asking if I made an appointment. And then I finally did make the appointment last Thursday and I went yesterday.

I took my BFF with me since my husband's job was busy too and I didn't want to drag him to a long consult if he wasn't neeeeeeeded. And I wanted to give my BFF an insight to what I had to go through for ivf since she always nagged about just do it. She now understands how that wasn't easy in any way and what I have to go through to do treatments.

So. I get there and it was so weird seeing the privacy wall/sign before entering the clinic. I was 10 mins late since my car wouldn't start and we had to run across the work parking lot to my friends car so I was already nervous. I left my wallet and phone in the car! So my friend went back to get it while I signed in and filled out new paperwork. The front desk lady was the same as when I went 3 years ago so that was pretty cool. After waiting a little while they called me back to a consult room. The nurse asked a few questions. This nurse looked new so I was kind of sad that I thought it would be all new people since the doctor I was scheduled to see was also new. The 2 RE's that started the clinic and did my ivf were still there but they were booked til mid to late March. So anyways I answer this nurses questions and then wait for the doctor. 

The new doctor comes in and introduces himself and asks me a few more questions. I've been tracking my periods and was able to tell him the typical cycle length but lo and behold my current cycle is LATE! I'm on cd 38. I think it's a good thing? lol so he tells me he wants to order a full new patient panel and check my progesterone and estridol levels to see if I ovulated and get an idea why I didn't get my period yet this month. He also wants to do a sono so he takes off while we wait for a room. Finally the same new nurse comes and takes us to a room and tells me to undress and wait on the table. Doc comes back and does and exam and we look at the sono and there are my same old PCOS ovaries. Covered in folicles. I was mostly dissappointed to see that they are still covered but it was what I was expecting. I get dressed and open the door to wait for him to come back and a nurse peeks in and asks if we were waiting for something and it's MY NURSE from my IVF and IUI rounds. She peeked fast I didn't know if she saw me but I got all excited and told my friend about her. Then the doctor came back to take us back to a consult room where he told me he didn't think i ovulated but will get the bloodwork ordered, have the billing office speak to me, and have a nurse go over my protocol. He also said he would like me to try to lose 15lbs short term goal and about 45 long term. I agreed since that was already on my agenda and he left. Then the billing lady came in and I remembered her too! Idk if she remembered me right away but while she was going over the price list there was a knock on the door and my two nurses from my IVF came in to say hi and asked if I remembered them! I was so excited to see them and showed them a few pictures and was just so happy to catch up with them and see that they were still there. They apologized for interrupting and said they'd be back after billing was done. So we finished the financial blahness and the lady said she would need to double check to see what coverage we had left. Then the nurse came back and went over the protocol which was slightly intimidating but not too bad. I'll be going over that in another post. She took me to get my blood drawn and it was the same lab lady. While we were there I saw pictures of some little girls and I remembered someone being pregnant when I went for ivf and there she was walking down the hall! Another familiar face! After the bloodwork we went to check out and I was told to call back Thursday if they hadn't called me with results and to either start provera or if my period started to schedule a saline HSG. 

The strangest thing was being back there with a different mentality. The last time I was there I was in more of a desperation mode. I was depressed and willing to try anything. This time, I really want another baby again but it's just different? I'm so grateful of everything the staff did for us to have our DD and seeing all their faces again was heartwarming. I really love my RE office and so glad we went with them. They really all have a heart for helping people and you just don't see that everywhere. I went in with so much appreciation for their office. I'm excited and nervous for my FET. I'll be calling them today to set up my protocol. I really hope we get lucky again but we have 12 embryos to try again with. I don't regret IVF one bit but my body and emotional state cannot do the whole thing again so I really hope this works. 

-mrs red

Optimistic 2WW

               Hello everyone. I hope everyone is doing well. It's been a while since I have posted an update, so I thought I would go ahead and do so now. Back in September I believe it was, I did my first month of clomid at 50mg. It was unsuccessful and my cycle day 21 progesterone test only came back a .7. My Dr increased my dosage to 100mg. First month on 100mg, my progesterone was 11.6. The second month it was a 12. Unfortunately, my doctor didn't do a progesterone test this last cycle.

            I am very optimistic about this cycle. Things so far are looking extremely well. My chart looks good (especially if you take out the first dip and rise because I was very sick those days and they effected my temps, fertility friend isn't even taking them into effect). 2 days ago, I experienced what I am pretty sure was implantation bleeding at 6dpo. If not, then I am honestly going to be completely shocked because it seemed very likely to be implantation with the consistency of it, rather than anything else. Some of my tracking apps are giving me a lot of hope because every time I enter any information (CM, some symptoms, temps and more), they always are telling me they could be a sign of confirmation that I may have conceived. So, I am trying very hard not to get my hopes too high for being set up for disappointment, but so far everything seems to be great. Only time will tell, so we will see :) How is everybody else doing right now?

2014 Holidays

I hope it is safe to say that you guys have survived the holiday season!

I know in a month and a half I had over 6 pregnancy announcements in my friends/family.

As you may know, my hubs and I have decided to stop trying after this last IUI didn't work. We will revisit the topic after I graduate from nursing school in May of 2016. He isn't hopeful that it is in our cards at all. I have to get used to that idea. It is a little difficult to think that but it is a reality I need to expect.

I hope that you guys have survived your holidays and all the announcements that may have occurred. We are here for you!

~Shannon and the Authors

Jessica's November check in!

This month was our first round of medication- It went a little easier on me than my first month of Clomid, I can tell you that for sure! There were still some side effects but they were very small compared to the mountain of side effects that clomid gave me.  I won't give you all of the icky details- Hey a girls gotta have some secrets! But here is a lay out of what was going on. 

Ironically AF showed on November 1st. When I said that we were going to start drugs in November- something took me very literally, So on November 3rd, CD 3  I took my first round of Letrozole.  

CD 3: first dose of Letrozole- Slight headache, noticed that I was a little dizzy- but not enough to bother me. 
CD4: second dose: Full on headache- enough that I took a dose of Tylenol. I was also REALLY dizzy. Had to sit down at work for a while- My head was spinning. 
CD5 :3rd dose- I knew the dizziness was coming so I prepared for it. No other symptoms to speak of. 
CD6:4th dose- I was really wishing the dizziness would end- what a stupid decision to take it in the morning when you are at work! Next month I'll take it at night! 
CD7: 5th(AND FINAL) dose: Headache, Dizziness, irritability, and a mild hot-flash at work. 

After that all seemed to go just as normal. I've had more headaches this month than I normally would have, that can easily be blamed on the weather changing. I got a + OPK on Sunday November 9th. On November 15th I went in for a blood draw to see if I actually ovulated. I haven't heard back from the Dr's yet about the blood work, I'm trying not to get my hopes up before I hear back on the blood work in case it isn't all good. 

Sheila's update

So, it has been a very long time since I posted, so I figured I would update now that I have finally started some real treatment (of course last years being nothing but a joke). I still feel really foolish that I didn't start seeking better treatment much sooner. I feel like although I have technically been trying for approaching six years, it's nothing compared to what you ladies have been through. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying it's a competition or anything, I just feel guilty for everything you ladies have been through, and I haven't endured near as much and I am so sorry for all those hardtimes you have been through in this journey. I also am feeling kind of nervous about how late I started seeking treatment, wondering if I have alot more years ahead of me before I really meet my end goal: a precious baby in my arms. Then I am feeling a lot of guilt when being hopeful thinking "What if this treatment does work? That is so not fair to these other women who have endured so much more than me and are still struggling". Ladies, my heart is truly going out for you. You don't know it, but I really pray for you every day. Really, my heart is more for you to obtain your precious baby more so then me. I can't imagine the pain that your heart holds through all the failed treatments. I am so sorry. My first "real" treatment wasn't successful. The stress of going through everything was so much more overwhelming than I anticipated, and this is just a baby step compared to what you have been through. I am truly so sorry.

So, this was my first cycle taking provera to induce AF and first cycle taking clomid to attempt to make me ovulate. This was so much more overwhelming than I had anticipated. Of course those of you have been on provera, I am sure you know what the period is like....so yeah that was...."fun" but still I did anticipate that, so I knew it was coming and honestly although it isn't that pleasant, it wasnt that bad although my cramps were horrendous and had to be in the bathroom every 5 minutes. I took clomid on days 3-7, and got a little bit of mood swings but weren't as bad as I was expecting, so that was good. The more overwhelming parts were, charting (getting mixed signals with my cm, opks, and bbt on opposite days of each other were making me paranoid and drove me up the wall), we are also fighting the insurance company on coverage of my doctor's office visit. However, the MOST overwhelming part, was the doctor's office receptionist. She has NO CLUE what she is doing. Let me explain further.

Don't get me wrong, I think my doctor and especially his nurse are truly great. This receptionist however, has caused me  nothing but headaches. So my doctor sends me a card in the mail after my first inital visit and tells me my bloodwork labs came back normal, and to continue the provera and clomid as mentioned in his office and to schedule a 21 day cycle appointment. So the wording on the card makes me think I need to schedule an appointment. I call my doctor's office and the nurse answers and tells me that normally its just a blood test, but my doctor did have it in the system as an actual appointment, so she needed to check and make sure. I called back 6 hours later, and they still had no answer. So then, I call back the next day and tell the receptionist all of this, and she disregards what I say, cuts me off and says "You don't have to make appointments for 21 day tests, you just go to the lab and get your blood drawn". So whatever, for some stupid reason I decide to take her word for it. I go on CD 22 for my blood work (CD 21 was a Sunday). I first go up to the doctors office and ask if there is paper work I need to take down to the lab, she tells me no it should already be down there and if not to call and she would send it down ( Note: I did inform her that I was there for a day 21 progesterone test).
Then I proceed to go down to the lab and they tell me they have no paperwork, so I tell them what she said and she calls upstairs. So then they are talking forever, and based on the conversation I can tell they are struggling to find my information, and the lady at the lab desk tells the receptionist upstairs to fax it when she finds it. So I assumed they finally did find it, because they called be back for my lab draw. They take the blood draw and I ask when I can get my results- they tell me 24 hours. I call back two days later, only for the conversation to go as follows
Me: Hello, I was calling about my progesterone test results
Receptionist: Okay give me a few minutes to look that up
*wait several minutes*
Receptionist:Okay well we find your results but it looks like they did the prolactin, thyroid and blood pregnancy test
Me: I already had that done like a month ago...
Receptionist :One sec
*wait several minutes*
Receptionist :Okay well you were supposed to call us and make an appointment and then we would know which lab you were going to
Me: I called and tried to schedule an appointment and you told me I don't call anyone just to come get the labs done.
Receptionist: Oh, I am sorry about that. Let me connect you to the nurse

So then my nurse is SUPER ticked off about what happened, (but very nice and professional to me, she just felt bad about what they did to me) but after several phone calls between her and I that day, she cleared it up and found out she could still run my progesterone test with my previous sample.

A few days later I try to call and find out my results again. Conversation as follows
Me: Hello, I am calling about my progesterone results
Receptionist :(after getting my name and dob) Okay it says that it's .7 , It says your labs are normal. I don't know anything about the number but since your labs are normal that means you ovulated.
Me (confused after hearing the number .7 thinking that sounds incredibly low) Oh it was .7? And this means I ovulated?
Receptionist: Yes
Me: Okay thank you, bye.
(I got this card in the mail just yesterday, so later than these phone calls)

Then after thinking about it a while longer, I know this sounds low and theres no way this lady could be right so I decided to call back and demand to speak to the nurse to clear things up. The nurse then confirms what I already knew, that my progesterone is low, and moving forward we are uping my clomid dosage. So anyways, I was just incredibly annoyed that the receptionist first tells me I dont need an appointment, then sends the wrong paperwork down making me get the wrong blood work, then tells me its my fault for not making an appointment after she is the one who told me not to, then tells me the very wrong thing about my progesterone. If I wouldn't have known any better or called back, I would have just continued to think the medication worked even though it didn't. So yeah....that was annoying but could be worse so I am okay with it. So thats where I am at now. Af hasnt started yet, so will need to call and get more provera ordered along with the higher dosage of clomid, and that's where I am at as far as now. Sorry for the very long post. I truly hope all is doing well with everybody! Where is everybody else at on their journey? My thoughts and prayers are truly with each and every one of you :)
Sheila

Jessica's update.

Hi all! I know that its been a while since everyone has updated their journey. So I'll start, 
maybe it'll catch on ;) 

A lot has happened in my personal life. I left Target and went across the street (literally) to be a front desk agent for a hotel. I've been here for 4 months I think? I've lost track! I really enjoy working over here. I don't miss working for Target a bit! I do miss some of my friends over there though. Daniel is still at the same place, but now we have days off together. At the fire department I've been put in charge of training since my promotion to lieutenant. At the farm hay season is in full swing, cows have been taken off summer pasture and brought home to have their babies. :) My favorite time of year is when all the babies are running around just outside of my house. They are adorable to watch them play! Its been a very nice summer for our family. My sister and her husband bought a house, all 6 of us loaded up in a Tahoe and went to Joplin Missouri for a canoe trip. We all had a lot of fun and enjoyed spending time out with nature and with each other. 

SOO... I guess the thing most people are following the blog about is the Fertility issue.. Daniel and I sat down a few weeks ago and discussed getting all of our check ups out of the way and starting fertility treatments in September. When I realized that September marked the 5 year mark of us TTC, I was ready to get the ball rolling again, but I didn't want to worry of all the Dr appointments to ruin the summer fun that we all had planned. So I just put it out of my head (which as you guys know is REALLY hard when your friends are all over Facebook announcing pregnancies and having babies) and tried to enjoy the summer. This week I went online and did some research and I'm calling to make an appointment next weeks with a dr just down the street from where I work to start the work up process and see exactly what she will do in her office without me being referred to an RE. So if you guys have any extra prayers or good thoughts that you could send my way that would be great!  

Let me know where everyone else is in their journey! Ill be thinking of you all! 

Shannon's Update

It's been awhile. Sorry for that. Life has been crazy and I haven't taken the opportunity to update the blog.

In April I had ovarian drilling surgery. I found out I was accepted to start nursing school this fall the day after my surgery.

In May I had a clomid cycle that worked!!! I even ovulated and believe I got pregnant but had a chemical pregnancy, where I lost it at 3-4 weeks. Hadn't gotten the + because I don't think my levels got high enough for that.

In June another failed clomid cycle. My right ovaries were trying to react this time but just couldn't get there.

July we started another cycle (today actually). I'm taking Clomid 100mg for 5 days (Tuesday-Saturday). On Wednesday and Friday I will be taking follistem shots (sp?) in replace of Bravelle and if everything works I will take Ovidrel to ovulate.

Yesterday my SIL also announced she was pregnant again.

My birthday is coming up on the 13th.

Nursing school starts on August 25th.

My summer in a nut shell. I may elaborate more in another post, I feel like I owe our readers that much. :)

Mothers day for Non-Mothers

Lets face it. Mothers day for the infertile world will always be a reminder. Either a reminder of what we are currently going through or what we went through to get to a happy mothers day. 

I always wonder what we look like for the outsiders (the fertile's of the world). I wonder if we look silly to them? Do they pitty us? Do you look at your neighbor crying in church when they ask all the mothers to stand and wonder why the tear are running down her face. Honestly I don't make to church as much as I would like to admit. However, even if I was a regular church goer, I would most likely skip mothers day. I see it as a very public reminder that I am not a mother; I do not have a child; I may never have a child. In that moment, when someone wishes you a happy mothers day, as innocent as it seems, Its can literally feel like someone punched you in the stomach.  Its a pain that only a few will understand. How a simple phrase can bring you to your knees. 

Think about your infertile friends tomorrow. For most this is a hard day for them. Its had to explain, The pain that comes around this time of year for our group. I know I'll be checking in on my infertile friends tomorrow. :) 

Clomid + Bravelle + Ovidrel and IUI???

I know I haven't updated on the clomid cycles we did Aug-Oct 2013. Obviously they were unsuccessful, lol.

Now our treatment is 100mg Clomid days 5-9, 150 IU Bravelle injections day 6 & 8 (day 8 is today), and, if follicles respond... Ovidrel (date to be determined) followed by an IUI.

I have a sonogram Monday to see if the follicles are maturing... and then after that is still kinda in the air.

I'm really nervous. And excited. And scared. You name it.

I feel like everything is falling into place for this cycle but I worry that I'm going to jinx myself thinking that or thinking about anything baby related. I need to get out of my head!

Has anyone else done this before??