Baby Jack's birth story.

Hi guys! I just want to apologize for how long this gets! In the days leading up to my labor I had days where I was just done being pregnant. I had severe hip pain for most of my pregnancy that limited movement and sleep during the night. I was exhausted and tired of waking up in pain every hour of the night. But I fully expected to be pregnant much longer than I was. My due date was November 16th and I teased my Dad that I was going to be in labor on Thanksgiving (10 days past my due date).   

At 10pm on the 10th of November I started feeling what I thought were contractions. I started kinda timing them out and they were about 15 minutes apart. I figured that I would try to get some sleep and see how I felt in the morning. I was up and down the entire night, I didn't get much sleep- if any at all. My husband came home and I told him that he should try to get some sleep just in case this was really it. At 5 I got up and called the midwife to see if what I was feeling were really contractions or if they were suped up braxton hicks (I had been warned that most first time moms would believe that braxton hicks were contractions.) She told me that I was in labor and that when they got to around 1 minute long and 5 minutes apart to go ahead and come into the hospital. I woke up my husband to let him know that I was in labor but that he should still try to get some sleep because he had only been asleep for 3-4 hours. 

  

At 9 am I called the midwifes office and asked if I could just come in and see how dilated I was. No reason for me to drive all the way into the hospital if I wasn't dilated very far. At this point my contractions were about 6-7 minutes apart still only lasting 40-50 seconds long. They said of course come in and they would check me. So I went in and I was at a "tight 3" no need to head towards the hospital quite yet. Back home to labor some more. 

  

Around 4:30 we went in to get checked again. I was almost at a 4- the midwife reassured us that it takes the longest time to get to a 5 and that my body was doing it. It was just taking some time. This was not what I wanted to hear and almost brought me to the point of tears- I had been having contractions for what felt like forever and I hadn't made that much progress. She told me that I could go to the hospital whenever I felt like it- but since I wanted to go un medicated I decided it was best to go home and sit on the birthing ball and try to deal with them at home some more. 

  

Around 6 I decided to get in the shower and see if the hot water would let me relax and get some relief from contractions that were 3-5 minutes apart but still only lasting 40-50 seconds long- So I stubbornly still refused to go to the hospital. 

  

At 7:30 I got in the tub and tried to get some relief- Nothing was working at this point, I was exhausted and frustrated because my contractions were 3-5 minutes and still not lasting the minute. When I had gotten out of the shower and I was exhausted and laying on the bed just crying out of frustration my husband put his foot down and said enough- we are going to the hospital. 

  

I called my midwife when we got in on the highway to let her know that we were on our way. She said that she was on her way into the hospital to deliver another baby and she would meet me there (I really can't express how much I love my midwife and will be extremely disappointed if I can't see her for my future children) When we got to the hospital they put me in triage for an hour to monitor my contractions not knowing the my midwife just wanted me admitted- just a miscommunication. However they checked me and said that I was at  4.5- at this point I was ready to cry. In 12 hours I had made minimal progress. 

  

10 PM- Moved to a labor and delivery room. IV started (a first for me) paperwork signed, and they started monitoring baby again- I started walking around the room pacing trying to deal with the contractions. 

  

11:30- Midwife came into the room after delivering another baby (there were a total of 19 babies born during the night shift that night) and talked with me some about how things were going. I was exhausted and just wanted some rest at this point. She expressed her concern that I hadn't been able to get any rest in over 24 hours with the contractions- That it was looking like it was going to take more time that we thought. During the drive into the hospital I had told my husband that I was ok with the IV pain meds but I was still wanting to avoid the epidural if at all possible. So when she suggested the narcotics for me to get some sleep and see how I felt afterwards I gladly accepted. 

  

11:45ish- Narcotics were brought in by my labor and delivery nurse (Jessica). For those of you that have never had narcotics in an IV- WOW- that stuff was fantastic. I was still feeling my contractions- but I really didn't care. I but it made me really nauseous so she also gave me zofran in my IV. 

  

1AM- woke up from my drug induced sleep and felt like I needed to get up and walk through contractions again- Only I had to call for my nurse to help me get out of bed because they were afraid I would slip and fall with the narcotics in my system. 

  

2AM- Cervical check STILL AT A 4.5 I was at the point of tears now. They told me that at this point the considered that my labor had stalled and I could either try to stop the contractions or I had the option of Pitocin, or for them to break my water to get things going again... I was opposed to them breaking my water because then we were really on a time crunch. I opted for the Pitocin- but also requested the epidural. I was done. I was exhausted and just ready to hold my baby. If the Pitocin and the epidural were going to get me to that point I was going to take that step. So they turned up the saline drip on my IV and called for the epidural. 

  

2:30- Epidural was placed and I was laying flat on my back waiting for the epidural to kick in. 

  

2:45- Epidural had kicked in. LOVE IT. I could get some sleep and relief. They wanted to see if maybe the epidural would allow me to relax and get some more dilation- 

  

5 am- another cervical check- not quite at a 5 yet. 

  

5:30 - Pitocin started. 

  

7am- nurse shift change. Another cervical check- she said maybe at a 5.5 but it was hard to tell because baby was really low and my water was bulging. 

  

7:30ish- My water broke. I just remember looking at my husband and telling him that my water broke  and that I think I needed to call my nurse. She came in and checked me and said that I was at a 5.5 but my water had broke and things were on their way. 

  

8am- They had me laying on my left side for everything but my cervical checks(turns out we were dealing with a shorter umbilical cord and his heart rate would only stay stable when I was laying on my left side) - so my epidural had worn off my right side- OUCH. My left side was so numb that I couldn't move my leg by reaching down and trying to lift it with my hands- and my right side was dealing with the contractions that were lasting 80-90 seconds. I called my nurse and asked if there was anything that they could do so they came in and let me lay on my right side for a little while- which worked 

  

9am- The new midwife from the office was making rounds and came in to check on me. She said that she was going to position me on a peanut (an odd shaped birthing ball) to get my pelvic bone to open up and help the pitocin a little bit. 

  

9:30- I told my nurse that I wasn't sure if it was just the position or what but I was feeling a lot of pressure. She checked me again and said that I was just shy of 10CM and I was getting ready to push. I told my husband to call my mom. I had planned to call her when I was at a 7-8 and tell her to head towards the hospital- There was no stops between 5.5 and almost ready to push. The nurses started to prepare the room for pushing and told me that when I felt like my body was pushing on its own to let them know and that's when we will start pushing- so that i wasn't doing all of the work on my own, 

  

10:20- Called my nurse and told her that it was time to push. The midwife came in and we started pushing! 

  

10:42- My midwife told me to reach down and grab my baby as he was being born. I have never in my life been so in love with anything like that. From the moment I could see his little face and heard his cry I was completely obsessed with him. 

  

He was 7 LBS 3.2 OZ 19 inches long- Everyone in our families are completely obsessed with him. 

These are his newborn photos taken at 8 days. 

https://www.facebook.com/charmingmemoriesphoto/

A loss for words has never been so wordy...

So a week after my transfer I took a HPT and to my very big surprise it was a BFP! We were super excited. The next day I went for my hormone check and they said they wouldn't do a beta because it was too early. They called me later and told me my progesterone was really low and to up my PIO injections to 1.5 ml. So everyday I took PIO 1.5 ml, and a suppository at night and then every 3 days I was on 4 patches of vivelle which is an estrogen patch.

I took another HPT a few days later just to see if the line was getting darker and it was! My first beta came back as 1397 and the second one was 3411! With my first beta they said my estrogen was a little low but they would check again on the second and it was much better. We were so excited. We set my first ultrasound for May 21st. Then a week after the betas I had some bleeding. It wasn't much at first but we still called the doctor who asked me to come in right away. My first miracle and I had just woken up because we were both sick with a stomach virus from something we ate. There was no time to take her to anyone to be watched so I loaded her in the car pjs and all. DH called me and said he was on the way and would meet us at the clinic. 

We got to the clinic and I changed DD into real clothes and we waited to be called back. First they took my weight and blood pressure which was understandably high. And then we went back to the exam room. We saw DH running down the hallway as we walked to the point exam room. we gave DD the iPad to watch a movie while they did the ultrasound. We saw 2 perfect little sacs and yolks. In one sac there was a clearly defined "pole" the other was a little harder to see but definitely there. Everything was measuring right on track at 5 weeks 5 days. They said to come back in 10 days to see how things progress but they couldn't find any source of bleeding.  

We were relieved and shocked. We went to get some lunch before going home. At the restaurant I had to go to the restroom again and when I went I saw I had bled through my underwear and shorts and when I wiped I saw a snot like looking clot. I called the doctors office again and they said it could be nothing just go home and rest and let them know if it got worse. 

And it did...

After we got home I started cramping a lot and when I went to the bathroom a clot a little bigger than a golf ball came out. And then it happened 2 more times. Finally the cramping stopped and I was able to get some rest. When I woke up the bleeding slowed down but I had already soaked an overnight pad. I emailed the doctors office to see if they wanted me to go in again but to let them know I was ok with waiting. They said just come on the 21st and we'll see then. 

So we go on the 21st and to our dismay, they could only find 1 sac, on top of that it was only measuring 6 weeks and I should have been measuring 7 weeks at this time but it had a heartbeat. So they called the doctor and he said let's check again in a week. If it starts catching up great and if it is the same size or only slightly larger it might be lost. I was crushed. They added me on a prescription folic acid to see if it would help. I also showed the doctor my legs and back because I had developed an allergy to the patches. When I first started taking the patches my skin would rash around the time to change the patches. But by this week i was getting a burning rash after less than 24 hours in the patch making waiting 72 hours pure torture. I'm ok with working through the pains and discomforts but my skin was raw and I was running out of places to put them so they switched me to a pill form because the doctor said that I shouldn't be having a reaction like I was. 

So we wait over a week because the next appointment wasn't available until June 1! The waiting is the worst. 

June 1, we get to the appointment early but have to wait because they had 3 procedures scheduled at the same time. And procedures are time sensitive. So we wait. And wait. And finally the sono lady comes in. 

She checks and it's so hard to even see the sac and the even harder to see the baby... She called the doctor in to check and he saw the same thing. This time he was able to find both sacs. Both still at 6 weeks. Not grown a bit. 

They apologize and express sympathy for our loss. And I feel like I can't breathe. They give us a min so I can change. And then the doctor comes back to give us options. He said the only options he recommended for us is either do the natural wait or a d&c. We didn't have to decide right then and there. DH asked what kind of wait time there would be to try again (since we had already discussed this aspect) and they said it would be about 8 weeks before we could do another transfer. He also said they could get us in touch with support groups or anything we needed. At this point I lost it and just started ugly crying. He gave us a tissue and walked out of the room to give us time. A little later a nurse came in and told us we didn't have to decide right now but to keep in mind that the natural route I would feel heavy cramping and everything would be at home and d&c is under anesthesia. Which reminded me of my first miscarriage, alone, at home. It was so painful and like a scene from Carrie. I can't feel it. I don't want to feel it. I'm so broken I can't I can't I can't. 

DH is scheduling everything for me with the clinic. I can't deal with anything right now. 

My mom picked up DD from daycare for us so that we could process alone and not leave her all day there. We went home and watched a marvel movie his boss let us borrow. Then I asked him to pull my box of dolls out of the shed so I could give DD my new in box Barbies and we spent some time unboxing Barbies and setting them up to see her face when she got home. She truly is our miracle and I'm so grateful it worked the first time with her. This loss is so hard and the only thing that makes it better is that we have her. We have a trip we are going on for Labor Day and the doctors time frame puts another transfer around then so we are just going to wait until after that trip. I'm going to try to use this time to get more in shape and maybe find a job with maternity leave? Idk how to really process things but I know everything will work out for us. I know I will have my rainbow after this storm. Right now I just need to push through the storm. 

I'm not ok. But I'm ok. 

-mrs red

Jessica's Pregnant!

We accidentally found out that I was pregnant- yep. I didn't take the test because I had any kind of hope that our final round of clomid worked before went on to IUI.


 I had bought a pack of ovulation tests- the kind that includes a HPT in the package. So when I bought that pack I just took the HPT out and put it in the cabinet and forgot about it. Later in the cycle I was digging through the cabinet trying to find something-can't remember what at this point, and stumbled across the test. I took it out and placed it on the counter. That Saturday I was tired of seeing it on the counter so I decided to just take it, see that it was negative, and throw it away. So I took it and proceeded to pass out and not look at it until around 5am when I woke up again to use the restroom. OMG... there is a second line there... that's an evap. No way. Well.... maybe I should take another test just to make sure. Sunday morning when my husband and I woke up I told him that we need to go to the store and pick up some tests. That I didn't want to get my hopes up but the chepo test I took last night might have been positive- but it could just as easily be an evap line. He said it would just be faster if he went on his own and ran off to Walmart to get the tests. When he came back I went and took it. We went into the other room and waited and went back. I looked at the test and Daniel asked if it was positive or negative... I said I think I'm crazy because I see the second line! I handed him the test and he could see it too. We took the 2nd test in the box (Who WOULDN'T) it came up an even DARKER positive. We were completely in shock... I had no hope that anything would happen. when we got to see he midwife she sent us in for a dating ultrasound and we got to see our little jelly bean and hear the heartbeat. I never though I would ever be here. Its honestly been very surreal.

Here's what I was on-

150 MG Clomid CD 5-9
recommended dosage of Ovaboost (approved by my DR)
one a day women's prenatal soft gels (I read somewhere that your body will adsorb more of the nutrients because it doesn't have to break it down from a solid.)
I also went on a grain free, sugar free, low diary diet with lots of avocados and fish and coconut oil. I lost 25 LBS that month!

Well that's kinda our story so far... Hopefully it will give someone so hope. We tried everything we could think of for 5.5 years and something finally worked!

FET 2WW

So I got my protocol back for the FET. I took birth control for a month and on cd 21 I started 2 weeks of Lupron injections. Then about a week later went for blood work and a baseline sono. Then started putting on estrogen patches in a very calculated plan. Building up to 4 patches changed out every 72 hrs. Then had my transfer this week where we transferred 2 beautiful blasts. I took the day of the transfer off of work and have been working from home the rest of the week. The hardest part has been that DH has been having to take DD to daycare while he goes to work and I have to wait for him to get out to see her. Luckily we work at the same company with an onsite daycare so I know it's not a long wait for her when he gets out but he works long days. I hate that she's there for that long but I cannot lift her right now and am supposed to be laying down. All day except to pee. I took a Valium before the procedure which was prescribed by the RE and I needed it! Sure did make me a little loopy but it was ok. My transfer was about 45 mins late because my bladder wasn't filling up. After 4 bottles of water we were finally ready. I should have opted for the catheter afterwards because I was FULL! Lol but we made it through. I went home and slept. I've been very bored being at home not interacting with people and hiding this secret that I'm not at work from my parents and Facebook. Lol. My beta day is May 4 which happens to be the day of retrieval 3 years ago which resulted in my DD. I'm hoping that we get lucky again and we have a sticky baby again.

Back in the saddle

I'm back! I've had some survivors guilt after my successful ivf because I know I got lucky. It doesn't work for everyone on the first try and it did for us. But getting pregnant didn't change the way my body acts... Much... I actually have semi regular periods now! They're 35ish days but much more frequent than before. But the doctor confirmed that I'm still not ovulating. Which sucks. I still have PCOS and I do not ovulate. Awesome. We have been not trying not preventing since having our miracle and then I stopped breadtfeeding when she was 18 months which is when I finally got a period. And I thought maybe I was ovulating but nope. My husband hasn't been ready to go back to the RE until my bday last month. We went to a festival and he told me there he's ready to actively try. Just when I decided to work on my weight he decided to get serious about trying again. Now I didn't gain a lot of weight pregnant and actually stayed at or below my pre pregnancy weight until the holidays! I gained about 6 lbs so I joined weight watchers to start losing weight and the next day he said to make an appointment at the RE. Work has been really busy so I kept putting it off for like 3 days of him asking if I made an appointment. And then I finally did make the appointment last Thursday and I went yesterday.

I took my BFF with me since my husband's job was busy too and I didn't want to drag him to a long consult if he wasn't neeeeeeeded. And I wanted to give my BFF an insight to what I had to go through for ivf since she always nagged about just do it. She now understands how that wasn't easy in any way and what I have to go through to do treatments.

So. I get there and it was so weird seeing the privacy wall/sign before entering the clinic. I was 10 mins late since my car wouldn't start and we had to run across the work parking lot to my friends car so I was already nervous. I left my wallet and phone in the car! So my friend went back to get it while I signed in and filled out new paperwork. The front desk lady was the same as when I went 3 years ago so that was pretty cool. After waiting a little while they called me back to a consult room. The nurse asked a few questions. This nurse looked new so I was kind of sad that I thought it would be all new people since the doctor I was scheduled to see was also new. The 2 RE's that started the clinic and did my ivf were still there but they were booked til mid to late March. So anyways I answer this nurses questions and then wait for the doctor. 

The new doctor comes in and introduces himself and asks me a few more questions. I've been tracking my periods and was able to tell him the typical cycle length but lo and behold my current cycle is LATE! I'm on cd 38. I think it's a good thing? lol so he tells me he wants to order a full new patient panel and check my progesterone and estridol levels to see if I ovulated and get an idea why I didn't get my period yet this month. He also wants to do a sono so he takes off while we wait for a room. Finally the same new nurse comes and takes us to a room and tells me to undress and wait on the table. Doc comes back and does and exam and we look at the sono and there are my same old PCOS ovaries. Covered in folicles. I was mostly dissappointed to see that they are still covered but it was what I was expecting. I get dressed and open the door to wait for him to come back and a nurse peeks in and asks if we were waiting for something and it's MY NURSE from my IVF and IUI rounds. She peeked fast I didn't know if she saw me but I got all excited and told my friend about her. Then the doctor came back to take us back to a consult room where he told me he didn't think i ovulated but will get the bloodwork ordered, have the billing office speak to me, and have a nurse go over my protocol. He also said he would like me to try to lose 15lbs short term goal and about 45 long term. I agreed since that was already on my agenda and he left. Then the billing lady came in and I remembered her too! Idk if she remembered me right away but while she was going over the price list there was a knock on the door and my two nurses from my IVF came in to say hi and asked if I remembered them! I was so excited to see them and showed them a few pictures and was just so happy to catch up with them and see that they were still there. They apologized for interrupting and said they'd be back after billing was done. So we finished the financial blahness and the lady said she would need to double check to see what coverage we had left. Then the nurse came back and went over the protocol which was slightly intimidating but not too bad. I'll be going over that in another post. She took me to get my blood drawn and it was the same lab lady. While we were there I saw pictures of some little girls and I remembered someone being pregnant when I went for ivf and there she was walking down the hall! Another familiar face! After the bloodwork we went to check out and I was told to call back Thursday if they hadn't called me with results and to either start provera or if my period started to schedule a saline HSG. 

The strangest thing was being back there with a different mentality. The last time I was there I was in more of a desperation mode. I was depressed and willing to try anything. This time, I really want another baby again but it's just different? I'm so grateful of everything the staff did for us to have our DD and seeing all their faces again was heartwarming. I really love my RE office and so glad we went with them. They really all have a heart for helping people and you just don't see that everywhere. I went in with so much appreciation for their office. I'm excited and nervous for my FET. I'll be calling them today to set up my protocol. I really hope we get lucky again but we have 12 embryos to try again with. I don't regret IVF one bit but my body and emotional state cannot do the whole thing again so I really hope this works. 

-mrs red

Optimistic 2WW

               Hello everyone. I hope everyone is doing well. It's been a while since I have posted an update, so I thought I would go ahead and do so now. Back in September I believe it was, I did my first month of clomid at 50mg. It was unsuccessful and my cycle day 21 progesterone test only came back a .7. My Dr increased my dosage to 100mg. First month on 100mg, my progesterone was 11.6. The second month it was a 12. Unfortunately, my doctor didn't do a progesterone test this last cycle.

            I am very optimistic about this cycle. Things so far are looking extremely well. My chart looks good (especially if you take out the first dip and rise because I was very sick those days and they effected my temps, fertility friend isn't even taking them into effect). 2 days ago, I experienced what I am pretty sure was implantation bleeding at 6dpo. If not, then I am honestly going to be completely shocked because it seemed very likely to be implantation with the consistency of it, rather than anything else. Some of my tracking apps are giving me a lot of hope because every time I enter any information (CM, some symptoms, temps and more), they always are telling me they could be a sign of confirmation that I may have conceived. So, I am trying very hard not to get my hopes too high for being set up for disappointment, but so far everything seems to be great. Only time will tell, so we will see :) How is everybody else doing right now?

2014 Holidays

I hope it is safe to say that you guys have survived the holiday season!

I know in a month and a half I had over 6 pregnancy announcements in my friends/family.

As you may know, my hubs and I have decided to stop trying after this last IUI didn't work. We will revisit the topic after I graduate from nursing school in May of 2016. He isn't hopeful that it is in our cards at all. I have to get used to that idea. It is a little difficult to think that but it is a reality I need to expect.

I hope that you guys have survived your holidays and all the announcements that may have occurred. We are here for you!

~Shannon and the Authors