Mothers day for Non-Mothers

Lets face it. Mothers day for the infertile world will always be a reminder. Either a reminder of what we are currently going through or what we went through to get to a happy mothers day. 

I always wonder what we look like for the outsiders (the fertile's of the world). I wonder if we look silly to them? Do they pitty us? Do you look at your neighbor crying in church when they ask all the mothers to stand and wonder why the tear are running down her face. Honestly I don't make to church as much as I would like to admit. However, even if I was a regular church goer, I would most likely skip mothers day. I see it as a very public reminder that I am not a mother; I do not have a child; I may never have a child. In that moment, when someone wishes you a happy mothers day, as innocent as it seems, Its can literally feel like someone punched you in the stomach.  Its a pain that only a few will understand. How a simple phrase can bring you to your knees. 

Think about your infertile friends tomorrow. For most this is a hard day for them. Its had to explain, The pain that comes around this time of year for our group. I know I'll be checking in on my infertile friends tomorrow. :) 

Clomid + Bravelle + Ovidrel and IUI???

I know I haven't updated on the clomid cycles we did Aug-Oct 2013. Obviously they were unsuccessful, lol.

Now our treatment is 100mg Clomid days 5-9, 150 IU Bravelle injections day 6 & 8 (day 8 is today), and, if follicles respond... Ovidrel (date to be determined) followed by an IUI.

I have a sonogram Monday to see if the follicles are maturing... and then after that is still kinda in the air.

I'm really nervous. And excited. And scared. You name it.

I feel like everything is falling into place for this cycle but I worry that I'm going to jinx myself thinking that or thinking about anything baby related. I need to get out of my head!

Has anyone else done this before??

Playing Catch-Up

I owe many posts updating about my fertility treatments since AUGUST.

Amazing how time flies between two jobs and holidays and fertility treatments. But I have a new laptop now and will be able to keep up more often. So, this isn't quite an update, but a heads up that I will update, LOL!

I'm not pregnant after the fertility treatments this fall.

Molly, previous author, had her baby on her birthday, November 30th. A little boy named Jonah.

If you are interested in being a guest, part-time, or full-time writer please fill out the form above or send an email to shannonw@fighting4fertility.org.in . I am getting emails now so I should be able to respond much quicker than every 2 months!

Now, to work on my updates...

Wonder Wednesday: how to act when trying to become pregnant

Reader question: hey gals, when ttc, do you act any different or just continue your lifestyle until you get a positive?

Short answer: when trying to get pregnant, act pregnant from the moment Aunt Flo leaves til she comes back!

Long answer: you never know when you will get pregnant. Would you want to risk losing a baby because you went on a weekend bender with the girlfriends? The general rule of thumb that any "get pregnant" book will tell you is that if you are trying to get pregnant, cut out all anti baby things out of your lifestyle. That means if you are a chronic caffeine addict, cut it out. Caffeine can actually lower your chances of getting pregnant. Caffeine is really a drug. An evil addictive drug! Not good for your body when over consumed so if you must have that latte, make it ONE medium coffee a day and work on cutting that out since you really shouldn't consume caffeine pregnant. There are studies that it causes ADHD or something. Then everyone knows you shouldn't consume alcohol pregnant so that should be cut out as well. Alcohol has been linked to birth defects and birth defects could be fatal to babies. What if you get pregnant and you drank to much alcohol and it caused a birth defect? The first 4 weeks the neural tube forms. This is the most common birth defect associated with alcohol. If you don't have a strong baby then it could cause a miscarriage or preterm labor. Neural tube defects could cause either of those things to happen. So don't do it! 

Other things you want to avoid are lifting too much weight or crazy death defying stunts that you wouldn't do pregnant. Now for crazy things I want to do I try to schedule them when AF is in town or shortly after.  Same pretty much with drinking away sorrows of another month gone by. 

I am always optimistic that "this will be the month" so yes I cut all caffeine out of my diet at one point and pretty much don't really consume alcohol almost ever. Just in case. 

About the Author: Sheila

Name: Sheila
Age: 24
Date of Birth: July 13, 1989
Nationality/Heritage:  American (portion Native American and British)
City/State/Country: Stoutsville, OH USA
Occupation: Part Owner @ Tara's Country Home Candles
Kid's Names and Ages: none
TTC Since: October 2008
Infertility Diagnosis: PCOS -2013 (getting a second opinion)
Spouse: Shawn, 26
Married: August 23, 2008
Religion: Christian
Tattoos & Piercings: Ears
5 Things I Love: God, My hubby duh, ice cream, fall (I think being in marching band in high school made me partial, lol), coke (caffeine is a huge weakness for me :( ), I will do two more, since the first two may not count lol: purple, hoodies in fall/winter and flip-flops in spring/summer
Favorite Books: The Bible, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Hatchet, The Shack, Battle Royale, Any V.C. Andrews book, Beowulf, Macbeth, To Kill a Mockingbird, Frankenstein, Pilgrims Progress, Wicked and much more
Favorite Movies: Shrek, Harry Potter, The Notebook, Grease, Avatar, Fox and the Hound, Lion King, Elf, E.T. and much more
Favorite Shows: Duck Dynasty, Big Bang Theory, Who Dunnit, Once Upon a Time, Star Trek (I'm a nerd :D), Boy Meets World, other than these I don't watch much TV
Favorite Music: Pretty much any praise and worship, Casting Crowns is my favorite. Also like Misty Edwards, Jesus Culture, Hillsong, BarlowGirl, Tenth Avenue North, etc. Also like Christian Rock such as Disciple, Demon Hunter, TFK, Skillet, Etc. Also love 80s music and some country as well.
Favorite Food: Anything spicy!
Six Things I Could Now Live Without: God, my husband.... seriously couldn't, my phone, my hair brush or hair ties, family and friends, flip-flops and hoodies according to the season, lol
I'm Really Good At: I am actually a very good writer when I sit down to seriously write (or at least that's what I have been told by many people). Other than that, not much talent, haha. My DH has all the talent, lol
I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About: When and if I will ever be a mommy... Other than that, it depends. I think a lot, my mind goes non stop. It is actually quite ridiculous, lol
On My Free Time I: Well, I love Pinterest (especially new recipes and things to make for gifts) and Facebook. I also love to read. I write on occasion as well. I love spending time with family and friends.  
A Secret About Me: Well it's not much of a secret, but my mom died when I was 15 and my dad died February 2013. I try not to think about it and not to get all "woe is me", but when I do think about it I get mad because I feel I am way too young to have lost both of my parents. However, I know there are people out there that have it much worse than I do, so I try not to let it get to me.
If Money Were No Object & I Could Do What I Wanted for 1 Week I Would: Oh my gosh. I have no idea. I would like to say go vacation somewhere. I would rather buy a really nice house if money weren't an object. However I don't know if that lines up to the one week part, lol.
What I Talk About On The Blog: Diagnosis, second opinions, Emotions, Hope, etc
Blog Position: Facebook Poster, Pinterest Poster, Author
Contact Info:
Email: slimflutie@gmail.com; slimflutie@yahoo.com; sheilah@fighting4fertility.org.in
Pinterest: Sheila Hill; Waiting Mothers

Fertility Awareness Video

This hit so many parts of my life.
~Shannon

About the Author: Mrs Red

I

Name: Steph
Age: 30
Date of Birth: February
Nationality/Heritage:  Mexican, Japanese, Irish/American
City/State/Country: San Antonio, TX USA
Occupation: Lead Software Analyst
Kid's Names and Ages: Sophie, born January
TTC Since: November 2006
Infertility Diagnosis: 2003 - PCOS
Spouse: Mr T
Married:  2006
Religion: Christian
Tattoos & Piercings: Ears
5 Things I Love: Fishing, biking, sewing, painting, camping
Favorite Books: Hunger Games series, Fahrenheit 451, 1985, Heartsick series
Favorite Movies: Forrest Gump, Couples Retreat, Hunger Games, Yes Man, I Love You Man
Favorite Shows: Grey's Anatomy, Bones, CSI, Good Wife, Walking Dead
Favorite Music: Christian music, Oldies
Favorite Food: Southern comfort food, pasta, sushi
Six Things I Could Now Live Without: My bible, my husband, my miracle baby, a bed, my water bottle, some comfy shoes
I'm Really Good At: I don't know if I'm really good at anything... I guess I'm a decent baker
I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About: The future
On My Free Time I: Like to craft things and play with my miracle baby
A Secret About Me: I secretly LOVE the high school drama Degrassi...
If Money Were No Object & I Could Do What I Wanted for 1 Week I Would: Not work! LOL and spend it with my family on a beach somewhere
What I Talk About On The Blog: IVF, PCOS, juicing, success story, etc
Blog Position: Founder, Author, Designer, Facebook poster
Contact Info:
Email: stephaniet@fighting4fertility.org.in

About the Author: Jessica

Name: Jessica
Age: 25
Date of Birth: December 28, 1987
Nationality/Heritage:  German, Irish, Native American.
City/State/Country: Leavenworth, USA
Occupation: Human Resources
Kid's Names and Ages: None
TTC Since: September 2009
Infertility Diagnosis: May 2010 - PCOS
Spouse: Daniel, 26
Married: December 29th, 2007
Religion: Methodist
Tattoos & Piercings: 1 tattoo on my shoulder, ears are pierced twice
5 Things I Love: Sunday family dinners, walking around the farm, playing with my dogs, when the baby calves start to be born, and Starbucks
Favorite Books: Anything Jodi Piccoult and western romances
Favorite Movies: White Christmas, Holiday Inn, Casablanca, Harry Potter, and 7 Brides for 7 Brothers
Favorite Shows: Grey's Anatomy, Dance Moms, Pretty Wicked Moms, Good Eats, Sister Wives, Top Shot, Ducky Dynasty, and American Dad
Favorite Music: Anything country and red dirt except Taylor Swift
Favorite Food: Potato chips
Six Things I Could Now Live Without: My family, my dogs, iPhone, coffee, peanut butter, and my heating pad
I'm Really Good At: Firefighting and cake decorating
I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About: Babies and how to fix and expand the farm
On My Free Time I:Volunteer as a firefighter, read, watch tv, and Pinterest
A Secret About Me: I let my dog cuddle with me when my husband isn't in the bed
If Money Were No Object & I Could Do What I Wanted for 1 Week I Would: Buy stuff for the farm, prepay for fertility treatments
What I Talk About On The Blog: Naturally controlling PCOS, past fertility treatments, the possibility of future fertility treatments
Blog Position: Author, Twitter poster, Facebook poster
Contact Info:
Email: jessicad@fighting4fertility.org.in

About the Author: Shannon

Name: Shannon Ivy
Age: 27
Born: August 13th
Nationality/Heritage: Czech/Polish & European Mix
City/State/Country: Arlington, TX USA
Occupation: Certified Nurse Aide
Kid's Names and Ages: None
TTC Since: April 2008
Infertility Diagnosis: August 2008 - PCOS
Spouse: Jeff, 27
Religion: Me-Wiccan, DH-Christian
Tattoos & Piercings: 2 piercings in each ear, L ear has a cartilage piercing; 5 tattoos: celtic butterfly on R ankle, Shooting star with a quote on R back shoulder, 3 four-leaf clovers on L back shoulder (2 tattoos in 1), and a "Hope" tattoo on my wrist with the "o" being a teal heart for PCOS
5 Things I Love: Family, friends, cooking, crafts of all sorts, animals (esp. babies!)
Favorite Books: Almost any romance, mystery, paranormal... To name a few: Discovery of Witches, Harry Potter, Twilight, The Mortal Instruments, Beautiful Creatures, Creating a Life memoir, The Highlander, Mary Higgins Clark books, etc...
Favorite Movies: A TON: Harry Potter, Sweet Home Alabama, Burlesque, Marvel comics, Disney movies, comedy... Anything but scary movies
Favorite Shows: Big Bang Theory, Family Guy, Guiliana and Bill, Love it or List it, DIY & Home improvement shows, 2 Broke Girls, How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, and more
Favorite Music: Country, Pop, Current hits, Some Rap (Eminem)
Favorite Food: Ice cream. Spaghetti, stuffed bell peppers, stuffed cabbage, sweet and sour pork, fried rice, and soooo much more.
Six Things I Could Now Live Without: My husband, my phone, my kindle, toothbrush and toothpaste, underwear, jeans
I'm Really Good At: crafts, reading, typing, being empathetic
I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About: The book I just finished reading, whatever book it is; a slew of other things
On My Free Time I: catch up on DVR shows and do crafty things like sewing and quilting
A Secret About Me: I wonder if I will be able to adjust to having kids, when that day comes
If Money Were No Object & I Could Do What I Wanted for 1 Week I Would: Pay off all debts, buy a house and vehicles my husband actually loves, buy a nice, long vacation to travel the world.
What I Talk About On The Blog: Current procedures I am undergoing, PCOS, and emotions (plus others)
Blog Position: Founder, Author, Designer, Facebook Poster
Contact Info:
Email: shannonw@fighting4fertility.org.in
Myfitnesspal: sivywright
Weight Blog: http://shannonsweightstory.blogspot.com/

Today is the Day

So, today is the day I go see Dr. Luck.

I'm excited... and very nervous.

I am always worried that my condition will be worse or that I will get bad news. With infertility there is so much "bad" already that it is hard to think of any positives.

But, I did my research on my doctor and on the facility. They are closer to my last and I am still hoping that their pricing is reasonable (that wasn't included on the website).

I'm also excited that she might help me to get my period to STOP. I've been having bleeding (anything from spotting to light to medium) since June 26th and am SOO tired of having to always be prepared when I go to the bathroom. And I miss my husband, if you know what I mean ;)

I can already hear some of what the doctor will say: "your weight is too high" "if you lose weight your cycles should start to normalize" etc. I know I have a weight issue.

My high was in 2009 and I weighed in at 245. Earlier that year we had done 2 cycles of clomid. Then in the spring we moved into my FIL's house while we worked on our credit to get our own. In the summer I registered for a fall class at the local community college (only Yoga, as a way to get back into the swing of classes). That summer I also started to take some Japanese diet pills that my SIL had wonderful success with. The first month I lost 10 lbs. The second month I lost another 10 lbs. I was so excited! I continued to lose 10 lbs per month for the next 2 months. So in 4 months I had lost 40 lbs. And I stalled in the progress. We moved into our house in November with some issues. January I went to see my OBGYN and while there she prescribed a diet pill. Within the next couple months I lost another 25 lbs. I had gotten down to 180 and, as much as I wanted to be at 160, I was very happy. Kept it off for a year. Then had some really hard science classes with late night studying and lots of stress. BAM 30 lbs in 2 lbs back on. Once that dam broke it ALL came back. Now I am sitting at around 245/250.  (see more in my weight blog)

It's hard.

So, as excited as I am about the appointment, I am very nervous and any ridicule I will receive while there. I am hopeful that they understand the weight can be VERY hard to lose for PCOS peeps.

I will keep you all updated :o)