Today is the Day

So, today is the day I go see Dr. Luck.

I'm excited... and very nervous.

I am always worried that my condition will be worse or that I will get bad news. With infertility there is so much "bad" already that it is hard to think of any positives.

But, I did my research on my doctor and on the facility. They are closer to my last and I am still hoping that their pricing is reasonable (that wasn't included on the website).

I'm also excited that she might help me to get my period to STOP. I've been having bleeding (anything from spotting to light to medium) since June 26th and am SOO tired of having to always be prepared when I go to the bathroom. And I miss my husband, if you know what I mean ;)

I can already hear some of what the doctor will say: "your weight is too high" "if you lose weight your cycles should start to normalize" etc. I know I have a weight issue.

My high was in 2009 and I weighed in at 245. Earlier that year we had done 2 cycles of clomid. Then in the spring we moved into my FIL's house while we worked on our credit to get our own. In the summer I registered for a fall class at the local community college (only Yoga, as a way to get back into the swing of classes). That summer I also started to take some Japanese diet pills that my SIL had wonderful success with. The first month I lost 10 lbs. The second month I lost another 10 lbs. I was so excited! I continued to lose 10 lbs per month for the next 2 months. So in 4 months I had lost 40 lbs. And I stalled in the progress. We moved into our house in November with some issues. January I went to see my OBGYN and while there she prescribed a diet pill. Within the next couple months I lost another 25 lbs. I had gotten down to 180 and, as much as I wanted to be at 160, I was very happy. Kept it off for a year. Then had some really hard science classes with late night studying and lots of stress. BAM 30 lbs in 2 lbs back on. Once that dam broke it ALL came back. Now I am sitting at around 245/250.  (see more in my weight blog)

It's hard.

So, as excited as I am about the appointment, I am very nervous and any ridicule I will receive while there. I am hopeful that they understand the weight can be VERY hard to lose for PCOS peeps.

I will keep you all updated :o)

Whammy After Whammy...

So... Apparently it is that time of year.

I think there is always a certain spot in the year when everyone has found the baby dust in the drinking water but I haven't.

Yesterday my SIL's ex-fiancee announced that him and his wife are expecting a baby... ON OUR ANNIVERSARY. (And keep in mind... yesterday was my BIRTHDAY)

TODAY I find out his baby sister (about 21 y.o) is also pregnant with her boyfriend.

I need to figure out where that magic water is... I may need SOMETHING to get me out of this state of shock!

Clomid Whiplash

So today is Day 18 in my cycle. And man, this dose of clomid is giving me a run for my money!

Today I have been SOOO sluggish. I slept almost 8 hours, even if I was a little sore from working out. Dragged myself out of bed with 3 hours before I had to get ready to go to my first house. I only had 2 today.

Timing at first house wasn't bad, about my average but I was moving slow. Not really because I was sore, but I was just NOT motivated to clean. ANYTHING.

Made a few stops and then heated up my TV dinner at the 2nd house. Ended up wasting time eating and just messing around on my phone. Finally started and my feet were literally DRAGGING across the carpet. Still got done in really good time considering when I actually started though.

I'm home now. Just ate the equivalent of 1/2 a cantelope... Going to finish the kids apron I was working on then get my Bootcamp DVD workout on!

This combined with my crying episode last Friday and my general snappiness this week has been trying. I can't wait til the hubby gets home and we can go to bed!

The only thing this picture is missing is my husband... Then it would be heaven!