21.What is your favorite infertility-related quote? It doesn’t have to be explicitly related to infertility, but one that means something to your personal journey.
Shannon:
"Dreams are not something to wait for, they are something to work for."
"It rains hardest on those who deserve the sun."
"Everything will be okay in the end; if it's not ok, it's not the end."
"It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want."
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."
Mrs Red:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6, 7 NIV)
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Question #20
20.Have you ever bonded with someone IRL (In Real Life) over infertility, even just for a few minutes? It could be a family member, friend, neighbor, or even the clerk at the grocery store who noticed your OPK and vitamin purchase. Tell the story.
Shannon:
Mine was actually recently. In November I went to donate blood (I try to do this regularly). Normally I have no problem and go in right away. The tech was new to the location and we were talking and it ended up being that my iron was too low. She asked if I was on my period and I informed her that I don't get my period and she high-fived me and said it's awesome! And I went, "well..." and told her my story. At one point she cried with me. She also closed the door, hugged me, and prayed for me. I won't lie, that was kinda awkward, especially because I was in a comfortable position for that long of a period. But it was still touching. She gave me her number and told me to call her any day, any time.
Mrs Red:
At my last real job there was a lady who got moved right next to me and she had pictures of twins on her desk. She had just come back from maternity leave and she started talking to me one day. She was asking me how long i'd been married, which is almost always followed by do u have kids. But she didn't ask that right away. She moved on to other questions. After a few days sitting by her I told her that her sons were gorgeous. And she told me they were her miracle babies. She said her and her husband tried for 13 years and that her sister ended up being her surrogate. I was floored. This lady seemed to have everything in life and was the happiest faith filled person I had ever met and she struggled with fertility. Eventually I opened up to her And told her our struggles and at the time we had been trying for 2 1/2 years. She offered me tons of comfort and compassion. She told me what rE she used and suggested I start with one sooner rather than later. She also agreed that a support group and an Re that treats the whole mind and body is best for what i was going through. I didn't go at the time only because my insurance wouldn't cover it and I didn't think I would need an RE. She was a very sweet lady and I loved hearing her talk about her sons. She was a friend that God sent me for a season. We lost touch but I thank God I met her.
Shannon:
Mine was actually recently. In November I went to donate blood (I try to do this regularly). Normally I have no problem and go in right away. The tech was new to the location and we were talking and it ended up being that my iron was too low. She asked if I was on my period and I informed her that I don't get my period and she high-fived me and said it's awesome! And I went, "well..." and told her my story. At one point she cried with me. She also closed the door, hugged me, and prayed for me. I won't lie, that was kinda awkward, especially because I was in a comfortable position for that long of a period. But it was still touching. She gave me her number and told me to call her any day, any time.
Mrs Red:
At my last real job there was a lady who got moved right next to me and she had pictures of twins on her desk. She had just come back from maternity leave and she started talking to me one day. She was asking me how long i'd been married, which is almost always followed by do u have kids. But she didn't ask that right away. She moved on to other questions. After a few days sitting by her I told her that her sons were gorgeous. And she told me they were her miracle babies. She said her and her husband tried for 13 years and that her sister ended up being her surrogate. I was floored. This lady seemed to have everything in life and was the happiest faith filled person I had ever met and she struggled with fertility. Eventually I opened up to her And told her our struggles and at the time we had been trying for 2 1/2 years. She offered me tons of comfort and compassion. She told me what rE she used and suggested I start with one sooner rather than later. She also agreed that a support group and an Re that treats the whole mind and body is best for what i was going through. I didn't go at the time only because my insurance wouldn't cover it and I didn't think I would need an RE. She was a very sweet lady and I loved hearing her talk about her sons. She was a friend that God sent me for a season. We lost touch but I thank God I met her.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Question #19
19.What tv show/movie/commercial/print ad has bothered you the most since you began trying to conceive? If possible, post it here. Tell us why it bothered you so much.
Pampers Commercial
Ashley:
Well there was one earlier this year but I cannot remember the name of it - and I've been trying to remember for a couple days now, I will post if I remember! On the flip side there have actually been a couple that I'm excited to watch Private Practice is my favorite because it shows the shots, emotions, steps through infertility, etc.
Shannon:
I actually don't end up watching a lot of tv. We are usually at work or in school so when we do watch our shows we fast forward through the commercials... I know I LOVE the new pampers one:::Pampers Commercial
Mrs Red:
I actually can't think of any tv stuff that has offended me... I know there has been but I tend to forget about it because it isn't real and most people don't think when they come up with this stuff lolAshley:
Well there was one earlier this year but I cannot remember the name of it - and I've been trying to remember for a couple days now, I will post if I remember! On the flip side there have actually been a couple that I'm excited to watch Private Practice is my favorite because it shows the shots, emotions, steps through infertility, etc.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Question #18
18.Tell us about a pre-ttc pregnancy “scare.” With your current partner, or with an ex.
Mrs Red:
I actually never had any. I wasn't a wild child... Even though my mom thought I was -__- that was uncomfortable. Just turned out to be the moment my birth control stopped regulating my periods and the start of a lot of problems
Ashley:
Well I'd have to say it was with my ex. We'd been together for 8 years (junior high sweethearts)and were 6 months away from getting married. I was very nauseous and vomiting for 2 days in the morning and I never throw up. I was so freaking out that I was pregnant! I bought a test and was afraid to take it! Ended up taking it the next morning and it was a BFN! Fewww!
(FYI - I ended up splitting up with him a month later.....and to my surprise as fate would have it I found my husband 4 months later and we are still really good friends with my ex)
Shannon:
LoL, I didn't have any of these either!!!Mrs Red:
I actually never had any. I wasn't a wild child... Even though my mom thought I was -__- that was uncomfortable. Just turned out to be the moment my birth control stopped regulating my periods and the start of a lot of problems
Ashley:
Well I'd have to say it was with my ex. We'd been together for 8 years (junior high sweethearts)and were 6 months away from getting married. I was very nauseous and vomiting for 2 days in the morning and I never throw up. I was so freaking out that I was pregnant! I bought a test and was afraid to take it! Ended up taking it the next morning and it was a BFN! Fewww!
(FYI - I ended up splitting up with him a month later.....and to my surprise as fate would have it I found my husband 4 months later and we are still really good friends with my ex)
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
My Plan......
Ashley:
Well, we attempted our 3rd IUI cycle this past month. Unfortunately the IUI was cancelled because I had one growing follicle that stopped growing. My RE feels IVF is a much better option for us and highly recommends it. My DH and my game plan was to do 3 IUIs and then move onto IVF. So our first two IUIs were unsuccessful and our third was cancelled, so now we are moving on to IVF. I did some price searching and RE research and also talked to some of the ladies on my support group (Daily Strength) and found a facility that has a great program 100% refundable if no successful pregnancy after 3 fresh and unlimited frozen cycle attempts, it also guarantees 30 days of life or your money back. We can stop at any point and walk away and get our money back. This program cost also includes meds which most don't and can add additional costs to the IVF itself this is just one big package. I have to talk to the facility (RMIA) some time this week to get all my questions answered and then we'll be able to make our final decision if we are going with them or not. I feel really good about this. I am happy if for some reason this doesn't work we get our money back and then can use it towards adoption instead of taking out loan after loan and having financial stress! I'm really excited and optimistic that IVF will work for us!
Well, we attempted our 3rd IUI cycle this past month. Unfortunately the IUI was cancelled because I had one growing follicle that stopped growing. My RE feels IVF is a much better option for us and highly recommends it. My DH and my game plan was to do 3 IUIs and then move onto IVF. So our first two IUIs were unsuccessful and our third was cancelled, so now we are moving on to IVF. I did some price searching and RE research and also talked to some of the ladies on my support group (Daily Strength) and found a facility that has a great program 100% refundable if no successful pregnancy after 3 fresh and unlimited frozen cycle attempts, it also guarantees 30 days of life or your money back. We can stop at any point and walk away and get our money back. This program cost also includes meds which most don't and can add additional costs to the IVF itself this is just one big package. I have to talk to the facility (RMIA) some time this week to get all my questions answered and then we'll be able to make our final decision if we are going with them or not. I feel really good about this. I am happy if for some reason this doesn't work we get our money back and then can use it towards adoption instead of taking out loan after loan and having financial stress! I'm really excited and optimistic that IVF will work for us!
Question #17
17.Tell us your funniest Clomid/Femara/Injectibles mood-swing story. If you don’t have one, tell us your funniest general infertility drug story.
Shannon:
I don't really have anything, of either! At least none I can remember!
Mrs Red:
That would have to be progesterone injectables... So after my iui's my husband would give me the shots of progesterone. We would do them when he got home from work but I would prepare them before he got home. They give you 2 type of needles from the pharmacy, one to pull the medicine out with and one to inject it with. So the first week of shots we did this without a hitch. It was weird at first but not bad. The second week I had to get a refill. I got confused about which needles to use so I accidentally used the one to inject with to pull the medicine out and the one for pulling the meds out to inject. I didn't notice until the second day and I was thinking "hmmm it's hard to pull this out, it wasn't tho hard before" and then I looked at my sharps container and realized the needle color was different on most of the needles... I called my hubby over and told him I found the error of my ways and he laughed and said "maybe that's why the needle bounced off your butt yesterday when I tried to inject it!" lol the injection site hurt a lot more with the wrong needle... Pay attention ladies! LoL
Ashley:
Well, my funniest story would be my first time taking Femara. I didn't have too bad of side affects on clomid but my first time on Femara I got really dizzy and felt like I was drunk. I just laid down in bed and my puppy got sick and vomited on the carpet beside me. My husband was outside so I flew out of bed and started cleaning it up, I was putting the cleaner on the carpet and cleaning up the mess...the motion from rubbing/cleaning the carpet made my dizziness x 10 worse I couldn't even see straight! My husband came in the bedroom and asked what I was doing when I tried to stand up I just fell right back down! He ended up getting me into bed and he finished cleaning up the mess. I was still worried about how our puppy was feeling!
Shannon:
I don't really have anything, of either! At least none I can remember!
Mrs Red:
That would have to be progesterone injectables... So after my iui's my husband would give me the shots of progesterone. We would do them when he got home from work but I would prepare them before he got home. They give you 2 type of needles from the pharmacy, one to pull the medicine out with and one to inject it with. So the first week of shots we did this without a hitch. It was weird at first but not bad. The second week I had to get a refill. I got confused about which needles to use so I accidentally used the one to inject with to pull the medicine out and the one for pulling the meds out to inject. I didn't notice until the second day and I was thinking "hmmm it's hard to pull this out, it wasn't tho hard before" and then I looked at my sharps container and realized the needle color was different on most of the needles... I called my hubby over and told him I found the error of my ways and he laughed and said "maybe that's why the needle bounced off your butt yesterday when I tried to inject it!" lol the injection site hurt a lot more with the wrong needle... Pay attention ladies! LoL
Ashley:
Well, my funniest story would be my first time taking Femara. I didn't have too bad of side affects on clomid but my first time on Femara I got really dizzy and felt like I was drunk. I just laid down in bed and my puppy got sick and vomited on the carpet beside me. My husband was outside so I flew out of bed and started cleaning it up, I was putting the cleaner on the carpet and cleaning up the mess...the motion from rubbing/cleaning the carpet made my dizziness x 10 worse I couldn't even see straight! My husband came in the bedroom and asked what I was doing when I tried to stand up I just fell right back down! He ended up getting me into bed and he finished cleaning up the mess. I was still worried about how our puppy was feeling!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Question #16
16.If you are not yet a parent: What are you MOST looking forward to about parenthood? If you are a parent: What is the most surprising thing about being a parent? If you have taken the childfree path: What is the most surprising part of living childfree after infertility?
Not yet a parent-everything! Watching my baby develop in their own way, watching them learn and discover everything, teaching them how to be good people and hoping we do a good job. First day of school, bfs/gf's, every milestone, crafts from Sunday school and regular school, being needed when they're sick, seeing my husband in their eyes, watching him interact with them and them be OURS. Finally, when people tell me how cute my kids are, I can smile proudly and say thanks for real.
Ashley:
Not yet a parent. I agree with Shannon & Steph - the look on my husbands face -knowing our love created this little being and having unconditional love. I'm also looking forward to interacting as a family, teaching them things, learning things, everything :) I just can't wait!!!!!!
Shannon:
Not yet parent: The smile on my husband's face, the unconditional love of something we created together, watching him/her grow and develop and form their own personalities, etc. :o)
Mrs Red:
Not yet a parent-everything! Watching my baby develop in their own way, watching them learn and discover everything, teaching them how to be good people and hoping we do a good job. First day of school, bfs/gf's, every milestone, crafts from Sunday school and regular school, being needed when they're sick, seeing my husband in their eyes, watching him interact with them and them be OURS. Finally, when people tell me how cute my kids are, I can smile proudly and say thanks for real.
Ashley:
Not yet a parent. I agree with Shannon & Steph - the look on my husbands face -knowing our love created this little being and having unconditional love. I'm also looking forward to interacting as a family, teaching them things, learning things, everything :) I just can't wait!!!!!!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
That time of the month... Err... Year? Quarter?
My periods have never been monthly except for the years I was on birth control. never ever have I had a natural monthly cycle. I got close after my drilling surgery, it was every 60 days for 3-4 cycles. But other than that, NOTHING... Until December. I had one Nov 27 and then Dec 25th, it came on its own and close enough to 28 days for me! I was so excited!!! We have been juicing so I figured it was regulating my hormones. So I was hoping maybe I could get pregnant this month?!!!! Well guess who showed up today? Making this cycle 31 days :-( I was so tempted all week to take a hpt in wishful thinking... I'm glad I was too scared too because I woulda just shelled up... But aunt flo is just as bad as a bfn to me... At least it's month 2 of monthly... Novembers cycle was started with depo provera and then we have been juicing raw organic fruits and veggies ever since, except the beginning of this cycle because we took a week break which I think is what threw the days off. I am really hoping this is the month, next cycle should start around the 18th, my bday.... So a bfp would be the best bday present ever... EVER
-Mrs Red
-Mrs Red
Question #15
15.If you are not yet pregnant/a parent: What are you MOST and LEAST looking forward to after that first beta? If you are already pregnant/a parent: What was the most pleasant/unpleasant thing about pregnancy? If you have taken the childfree path: What pregnancy symptom are you happy to have avoided, and which one do you wish you’d experienced?
LEAST: I guess just worrying if I'll be a good mom :-)
Ashley:
Not yet a parent -
MOST: the whole experience of pregnancy, baby growing, birth, the bonding and holding the little one in my arms.
LEAST: the paranoia loosing the baby and if everything is ok - I don't want to be a crazy paranoid pregnant lady but I feel like I will be because of everything we've done to get pregnant.
Shannon:
Not yet a parent - MOST: feeling the baby grow inside me; LEAST: nausea.
Mrs Red:
not yet a parent- MOST: everything! Including the nauseaLEAST: I guess just worrying if I'll be a good mom :-)
Ashley:
Not yet a parent -
MOST: the whole experience of pregnancy, baby growing, birth, the bonding and holding the little one in my arms.
LEAST: the paranoia loosing the baby and if everything is ok - I don't want to be a crazy paranoid pregnant lady but I feel like I will be because of everything we've done to get pregnant.
Question #14
14.If a very observant stranger were to walk into your house, what clues could lead them to believe that you have struggled with infertility?
Ashley:
Medication bottles, shots in the refrigerator, sharps container and PCOS books. I don't have PCOS books out on display, I keep the hidden away or in a book bag but I do have the sharps container by the garbage and my medication bottles are on the bathroom counter on days when I take them so I don't forget.
Shannon:
I don't think there is really anything... Other than the fact that we don't have any baby stuff but they could probably think that we just aren't "there" yet. I really can't think of anything.
Mrs Red:
Same as Shannon, we don't really have any baby stuff anywhere so I don't see what clues there would be. We have a bunch of baby pictures of my nieces and nephews but other than that people wouldn't know. Work however, I have a small prayer board that screams "I WANT A BABY BUT IM HAVING SOME TROUBLE!" haha but I have it to where only I can see it or if ur looking reeeeally hard hahaAshley:
Medication bottles, shots in the refrigerator, sharps container and PCOS books. I don't have PCOS books out on display, I keep the hidden away or in a book bag but I do have the sharps container by the garbage and my medication bottles are on the bathroom counter on days when I take them so I don't forget.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Bracelet Giveaway!
Don't forget to FOLLOW this blog and be entered in the drawing to receive a FREE PCOS bracelet!
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| Picture courtesy of Aerabella's Boutique |
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
BFN - What Else?
So, Monday morning I kept waking up feeling really sick to my stomach and nauseous and like I really needed to throw up. Finally, at 430 when the husband's alarm went off, I gave up. Decided I needed to go and sit up and watch tv. First I took a pregnancy test. Figured it'd been 2 months since my last one so, why not?
I knew what the result would be. But EVERY time there is this little spark of hope that MAYBE, just MAYBE it will be different this time.
Of course it wasn't! How foolish could I be?!
I hate taking these tests. Even if I know they are going to be negative, that spark of hope drives me crazy and then the walls crash down.
Luckily I slept sitting up for a couple hours and felt MUCH better when I woke.
~Shannon
I knew what the result would be. But EVERY time there is this little spark of hope that MAYBE, just MAYBE it will be different this time.
I hate taking these tests. Even if I know they are going to be negative, that spark of hope drives me crazy and then the walls crash down.
Luckily I slept sitting up for a couple hours and felt MUCH better when I woke.
~Shannon
Question #13
13.Post the list of potential baby names that you seriously considered, but can no longer use because someone stole it/it became too popular/whatever reason.
Shannon:
We actually had no probably choosing our baby names. And, because they are so traditional, not many people are even using them anymore. One friend is going to name her way-in-the-future daughter with the same first name, but it is no biggie to me. We wanted traditional first names that could have a LOT of different nicknames and we are going to carry down our middle names. Boy = Alexander Douglas; girl = Elizabeth Ivy.
Mrs Red:
I gave up on picking out names. My husband said nothing anyone we know is named so that automatically eliminated a ton of names right off the bat. Then he said nothing too 'white' and I don't want a Spanish name that I can't pronounce. Talking about names for our kids has become mostly a debate because he wants names his parents can say (they don't speak english very well) and I want a name I can say... After all they are MY future children lol. We picked a few names out when our friends asked... They used one of our favorite names for their daughter. Isabella, they spelled it different but same name... So that's out. They want their next son Eric which was one name we liked so that's probably out too. So when we get pregnant we will use those last 4 months to come up with a name :-) oh and they told my mom I was going to be a boy do before my name was Steph, it was supposed to be Seth lol
Ashley:
We don't really have any set names. I have a list of names for each sex that I like but we haven't seriously sat down and said "this is what we want for sure." My husband will bring up a name now and then if he likes it and we'll briefly talk about it, otherwise we don't don't talk about it. I guess there used to be a couple names I wanted for sure but throughout the past two years I've become more open and flexible to names - just assuming that someone close to us uses one of the names I like - since everyone is having babies besides us. I think this is a way of protecting myself too so I don't get upset anymore than I already have been throughout this process.
Shannon:
We actually had no probably choosing our baby names. And, because they are so traditional, not many people are even using them anymore. One friend is going to name her way-in-the-future daughter with the same first name, but it is no biggie to me. We wanted traditional first names that could have a LOT of different nicknames and we are going to carry down our middle names. Boy = Alexander Douglas; girl = Elizabeth Ivy.
Mrs Red:
I gave up on picking out names. My husband said nothing anyone we know is named so that automatically eliminated a ton of names right off the bat. Then he said nothing too 'white' and I don't want a Spanish name that I can't pronounce. Talking about names for our kids has become mostly a debate because he wants names his parents can say (they don't speak english very well) and I want a name I can say... After all they are MY future children lol. We picked a few names out when our friends asked... They used one of our favorite names for their daughter. Isabella, they spelled it different but same name... So that's out. They want their next son Eric which was one name we liked so that's probably out too. So when we get pregnant we will use those last 4 months to come up with a name :-) oh and they told my mom I was going to be a boy do before my name was Steph, it was supposed to be Seth lol
Ashley:
We don't really have any set names. I have a list of names for each sex that I like but we haven't seriously sat down and said "this is what we want for sure." My husband will bring up a name now and then if he likes it and we'll briefly talk about it, otherwise we don't don't talk about it. I guess there used to be a couple names I wanted for sure but throughout the past two years I've become more open and flexible to names - just assuming that someone close to us uses one of the names I like - since everyone is having babies besides us. I think this is a way of protecting myself too so I don't get upset anymore than I already have been throughout this process.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Question #12
12.Talk about how you chose your RE.
Shannon:
The first person (Dr S) I was referred to by my regular doctor. She gave me two shots at clomid then quickly recommended me to a RE only facility. I lost the note but remembered the names. When we decided to try again I asked my regular doctor who she recommended because Dr S was impossible to get ahold of. She recommended two facilities, one of which was the same one Dr S recommended. I did my research and actually looked around at other places more local. Like Steph, I would automatically eliminate places that were rude or unfriendly on the phone. I ended up LOVING the CARE center that was recommended to me. It has just been too expensive to work with further, at this time.
Mrs Red:
My gyn office recommended a place that had specialists but not RE's. so I started researching offices. First I went by website presentation and stats from their sites. Then I went by receptionist. I literally hung up and never called one back just because they answered the phone rudely. This is a sensitive issue and I want a whole staff that is dedicated to the patient care, not justly the main doctors. Then I went by who was most forthcoming and detailed with information. Lastly, distance to home and earliest appointment. Then when I finally went, I was not disappointed. My first appointment was 4 hrs (they warned me ahead of time.) I met the whole staff and everyone was super nice and supportive. I love my RE office. :-)
Ashley:
My journey was a little different because of my occupation. I am a sonographer so I knew within the first two months of being off OCPs that I had PCOS. I work with infertility patients and then found myself being one of them! I knew many of the REs (in my geographic) and their staff from scanning infertility patients. I also knew a great deal about PCOS from school and working with patients who have it everyday, but as soon as I knew I had it I just dug into reading as much as I could to learn even more, which has helped me better understand and do my job :) So I knew infertility treatments were expensive so I decided to see a GYN who is a provider at my hospital who works with an RE that comes to my hospital as a satellite location from 3 hours away. I thought by going to the GYN she could help me start the smaller steps - clomid/femara, and that would help me save money, and I could help manage my care at that point. After 12 months of Metformin and 4 months of not responding to clomid and 1 month not responding to femara I was seeking an RE. I did a ton of research online. I read testimonials, looked at pricing, called clinics to get more info..etc. I had it narrowed down to two facilities but wasn't sure who to see. Then I spoke with a friend who recently just started seeing an RE and she chose one of the clinics that was my top two. So I just decided to go with that one because she really like the RE. I've seen Dr. L for 10 months now, he has been wonderful. We've tried several different doses of Femara but I am unresponsive to it and the past three months I have done Follistim with IUI, which has not resulted in a pregnancy. So we are moving onto IVF. I again "shopped" online to see facility pricing, guarantees, location, etc. I didn't really think the facility I'm currently going to offers the best package for IVF at the most reasonable cost. So I called two other places that I was inquiring about and that have comparable packages and I went with the one where the staff was most helpful and kind. It gives you comfort through this journey when you have caring people who are kind and sweet. So we are in the process of establishing care with a new RE - because of $$$.
Shannon:
The first person (Dr S) I was referred to by my regular doctor. She gave me two shots at clomid then quickly recommended me to a RE only facility. I lost the note but remembered the names. When we decided to try again I asked my regular doctor who she recommended because Dr S was impossible to get ahold of. She recommended two facilities, one of which was the same one Dr S recommended. I did my research and actually looked around at other places more local. Like Steph, I would automatically eliminate places that were rude or unfriendly on the phone. I ended up LOVING the CARE center that was recommended to me. It has just been too expensive to work with further, at this time.
Mrs Red:
My gyn office recommended a place that had specialists but not RE's. so I started researching offices. First I went by website presentation and stats from their sites. Then I went by receptionist. I literally hung up and never called one back just because they answered the phone rudely. This is a sensitive issue and I want a whole staff that is dedicated to the patient care, not justly the main doctors. Then I went by who was most forthcoming and detailed with information. Lastly, distance to home and earliest appointment. Then when I finally went, I was not disappointed. My first appointment was 4 hrs (they warned me ahead of time.) I met the whole staff and everyone was super nice and supportive. I love my RE office. :-)
Ashley:
My journey was a little different because of my occupation. I am a sonographer so I knew within the first two months of being off OCPs that I had PCOS. I work with infertility patients and then found myself being one of them! I knew many of the REs (in my geographic) and their staff from scanning infertility patients. I also knew a great deal about PCOS from school and working with patients who have it everyday, but as soon as I knew I had it I just dug into reading as much as I could to learn even more, which has helped me better understand and do my job :) So I knew infertility treatments were expensive so I decided to see a GYN who is a provider at my hospital who works with an RE that comes to my hospital as a satellite location from 3 hours away. I thought by going to the GYN she could help me start the smaller steps - clomid/femara, and that would help me save money, and I could help manage my care at that point. After 12 months of Metformin and 4 months of not responding to clomid and 1 month not responding to femara I was seeking an RE. I did a ton of research online. I read testimonials, looked at pricing, called clinics to get more info..etc. I had it narrowed down to two facilities but wasn't sure who to see. Then I spoke with a friend who recently just started seeing an RE and she chose one of the clinics that was my top two. So I just decided to go with that one because she really like the RE. I've seen Dr. L for 10 months now, he has been wonderful. We've tried several different doses of Femara but I am unresponsive to it and the past three months I have done Follistim with IUI, which has not resulted in a pregnancy. So we are moving onto IVF. I again "shopped" online to see facility pricing, guarantees, location, etc. I didn't really think the facility I'm currently going to offers the best package for IVF at the most reasonable cost. So I called two other places that I was inquiring about and that have comparable packages and I went with the one where the staff was most helpful and kind. It gives you comfort through this journey when you have caring people who are kind and sweet. So we are in the process of establishing care with a new RE - because of $$$.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Question #11
11.Post your favorite pre-TTC picture of yourself. Why is it your favorite? If possible, talk about that day/moment.
Shannon:
This is our wedding day, March 18, 2006. I was 19 and he was 20. Our wedding was received with much skepticism because we were so young. This year is 6 years married!
Mrs Red:
My wedding day :-) regardless of all the stuff my MIL tried causing we still got married this day. I love my husband with all my heart and would marry him a thousand more times
Shannon:
This is our wedding day, March 18, 2006. I was 19 and he was 20. Our wedding was received with much skepticism because we were so young. This year is 6 years married!
Mrs Red:
My wedding day :-) regardless of all the stuff my MIL tried causing we still got married this day. I love my husband with all my heart and would marry him a thousand more times
Next Step for Shannon
My next step in this journey starts this week.
It is actually quite sad to me.
I will be going back on birth control pills.
I haven't cycled in 9 1/2 months.
The PLAN is that I get accepted into a 2-year RN program in August and then we will start trying then.
I have a feeling deep in my gut that we won't start trying til I only have 1 year-6months left in the program.
We shall see!
It is actually quite sad to me.
I will be going back on birth control pills.
I haven't cycled in 9 1/2 months.
The PLAN is that I get accepted into a 2-year RN program in August and then we will start trying then.
I have a feeling deep in my gut that we won't start trying til I only have 1 year-6months left in the program.
We shall see!
BRACELET GIVEAWAY!
We will have a drawing for the first 25 followers of the blog to receive a FREE PCOS support bracelet!!!
Hurry up and follow us!
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| Picture courtesy of Aerabella's Boutique |
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He Supports Me :)
Husband and myself with our matching PCOS bracelets (I'm the lighter person). They say ”I am stronger than PCOS”.
You can buy them at Aerabella's (see link under Recommended Links tab at top)
You can buy them at Aerabella's (see link under Recommended Links tab at top)
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Question #10
10.Other than the song “I Would Die For That,” post a video of a song that has special meaning to you and your infertility journey. Explain it, if you’re comfortable doing so.
Shannon:
Mine is actually a song from the recent movie, Tangled. It is actually about a relationship between the two main characters, but to me it sounds like a mom and dad's first experience holding their child and what goes through their mind. Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and the wonderful result of having a baby. A "mommy's boy" and a "daddy's girl". Just close your eyes and listen to the lyrics :o)
I See The Light - Tangled
Mrs Red: there are actually 3 songs I would like to share... The first one is "strong enough" by Matthew West. I accepted Christ into my life when I was a junior in high school. I didn't fully understand what that meant for years. Struggling with PCOS made it hard for me to keep my faith. I felt alone and like God didn't care about me. I've learned different over the years and I truly believe that I am not strong enough alone and that I need Him to help me through it. That's where this song comes in.
Strong Enough - Matthew West
The second song is "Stronger" by Mandisa. This song helps me remember to just hold on to God and keep going forward. I don't feel like God had told me No yet on my fertility journey, he's saying wait, hold on just a little bit longer, this will make you stronger.
Stronger - Mandisa
the last song makes me cry. It is "Beautiful Things" by Gungor. The story behind it is so touching and personal to me. The lead singers wife was battling with fertility and she hit a low point. That's when she wrote the chorus to the song. It's a very beautiful song that can bring you to tears, my husband and I were drawn to the song before we knew the story. The story just makes it more beautiful. A year after her low point, she gave birth to a beautiful baby :'-)
Beautiful Things - Gungor
Shannon:
Mine is actually a song from the recent movie, Tangled. It is actually about a relationship between the two main characters, but to me it sounds like a mom and dad's first experience holding their child and what goes through their mind. Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and the wonderful result of having a baby. A "mommy's boy" and a "daddy's girl". Just close your eyes and listen to the lyrics :o)
I See The Light - Tangled
Mrs Red: there are actually 3 songs I would like to share... The first one is "strong enough" by Matthew West. I accepted Christ into my life when I was a junior in high school. I didn't fully understand what that meant for years. Struggling with PCOS made it hard for me to keep my faith. I felt alone and like God didn't care about me. I've learned different over the years and I truly believe that I am not strong enough alone and that I need Him to help me through it. That's where this song comes in.
Strong Enough - Matthew West
The second song is "Stronger" by Mandisa. This song helps me remember to just hold on to God and keep going forward. I don't feel like God had told me No yet on my fertility journey, he's saying wait, hold on just a little bit longer, this will make you stronger.
Stronger - Mandisa
the last song makes me cry. It is "Beautiful Things" by Gungor. The story behind it is so touching and personal to me. The lead singers wife was battling with fertility and she hit a low point. That's when she wrote the chorus to the song. It's a very beautiful song that can bring you to tears, my husband and I were drawn to the song before we knew the story. The story just makes it more beautiful. A year after her low point, she gave birth to a beautiful baby :'-)
Beautiful Things - Gungor
Ashley:
There are two top songs that come to mind for me...however neither is actually about infertility
There are two top songs that come to mind for me...however neither is actually about infertility
#1 Blake Shelton, God Gave Me You. This song means the world to me because I know without my husband I would not be able to get through any of this and continue to move forward.
#2 -Gavin DeGraw, Not Over You. I know its about a romantic relationship, but I think of it as a relationship between me and my unborn child - I'm not over "wanting" you, and the emotions I feel are very similar.
Question #9
9.What was the first baby or pregnancy-related purchase you ever made? Was it before or after you started trying to conceive? Or was it after you were already pregnant? Why did you choose that particular item to buy first? If you haven’t purchased anything yet, why not?
Shannon:
I haven't bought anything for ourselves. I want to, have wanted to since we started trying. I have even searched products and designs and bookmarked them. Hubs won't let me buy anything because he worries that having them in the house and seeing them might make me depressed. He has a point :/ I have crocheted stuff for our future children though! I'm sure when I finally get pregnant I'll start buying stuff. Not a lot at first... but to start gradually getting everything and finding where we want to get everything (Target, Walmart, and Babies-R-Us don't sell the theme we want).
Mrs Red:
The first thing I ever bought was actually not for my future kids... Well... Kinda... Lol it was after my smallest girl cousin was born, I was already graduated and working at the mutual fund company and I went on base and they had a dress sale. She was like 1 and a half and it was spring so I bought a really cute dress size 2t, I never gave it to my uncle and she grew really fast so it wouldn't fit the next year. So I said I'd give it to someone else or save for my daughter... I have yet to give it to anyone so im saving it for my daughter. If I don't have one, I'll adopt one. But this is my daughters dress. :-) After I got married and we started ttc, I hadn't bought anything in fear of 'jinxing' it but last year when I worked at a shopping channel call center I bought a set of story/nursery rhyme CDs. My husbands family doesn't know English/American nursery rhymes and I love them. I want my kids to know them. :-)
Shannon:
I haven't bought anything for ourselves. I want to, have wanted to since we started trying. I have even searched products and designs and bookmarked them. Hubs won't let me buy anything because he worries that having them in the house and seeing them might make me depressed. He has a point :/ I have crocheted stuff for our future children though! I'm sure when I finally get pregnant I'll start buying stuff. Not a lot at first... but to start gradually getting everything and finding where we want to get everything (Target, Walmart, and Babies-R-Us don't sell the theme we want).
Mrs Red:
The first thing I ever bought was actually not for my future kids... Well... Kinda... Lol it was after my smallest girl cousin was born, I was already graduated and working at the mutual fund company and I went on base and they had a dress sale. She was like 1 and a half and it was spring so I bought a really cute dress size 2t, I never gave it to my uncle and she grew really fast so it wouldn't fit the next year. So I said I'd give it to someone else or save for my daughter... I have yet to give it to anyone so im saving it for my daughter. If I don't have one, I'll adopt one. But this is my daughters dress. :-) After I got married and we started ttc, I hadn't bought anything in fear of 'jinxing' it but last year when I worked at a shopping channel call center I bought a set of story/nursery rhyme CDs. My husbands family doesn't know English/American nursery rhymes and I love them. I want my kids to know them. :-)
Ashley:
I actually haven't made my first item purchase yet for myself. Which is kind of strange when I think about it, because I am a planner and usually have things in place and boughten way before they need to be. I think I haven't bought anything yet because I don't want to "jinx" myself. I also feel like it would be a reminder of what I can't have. I also think if we do get pregnant I wouldn't want to buy things right away out of fear that it wouldn't last.
Saturday
We will catch on questions 9 & 10 on Saturday.
I blame it on me... I couldn't copy and paste the question on my phone and didn't want to pull out the laptop. Also I had started a new craft project and was too excited to stop!
I blame it on me... I couldn't copy and paste the question on my phone and didn't want to pull out the laptop. Also I had started a new craft project and was too excited to stop!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Question #8
8.Share a recipe for your favorite alcoholic drink (or, if you don’t drink, it can be non-alcoholic but make it fun!), and your favorite comfort and/or post-bfn food.
Shannon: To be honest, I don't have a favorite or anything. I'm so used to getting BFN's now, that I don 't even look at the test until right before bed or the following morning. Ice cream is always my comfort for anything anytime!
Mrs Red:
My favorite "drink" is actually non-alcoholic, it's 2-3 scoops of sherbet (depends on the glass size) and then fill with Sierra most just until the sherbet is barely going to float or starts floating, then mix with a spoon and drink or drink like a root beer float.
My favorite comfort food is an ice cold cola and some chocolates, I haven't really had soda in a long while but I think this is still my favorite combo. That or frozen yogurt... Or brownies... :-)
Ashley:
I would have to say Pepsi! I've been avoiding caffine, soda, alcohol, etc. since TTC. I LOVE a pepsi now and then for some reason and when I have BFN - Pepsi is usually my go to thing! I have had a couple months where we have a get together or go out with friends and then I drank for a night too....but Pepsi is it for me!
Shannon: To be honest, I don't have a favorite or anything. I'm so used to getting BFN's now, that I don 't even look at the test until right before bed or the following morning. Ice cream is always my comfort for anything anytime!
Mrs Red:
My favorite "drink" is actually non-alcoholic, it's 2-3 scoops of sherbet (depends on the glass size) and then fill with Sierra most just until the sherbet is barely going to float or starts floating, then mix with a spoon and drink or drink like a root beer float.
My favorite comfort food is an ice cold cola and some chocolates, I haven't really had soda in a long while but I think this is still my favorite combo. That or frozen yogurt... Or brownies... :-)
Ashley:
I would have to say Pepsi! I've been avoiding caffine, soda, alcohol, etc. since TTC. I LOVE a pepsi now and then for some reason and when I have BFN - Pepsi is usually my go to thing! I have had a couple months where we have a get together or go out with friends and then I drank for a night too....but Pepsi is it for me!
Question #7
7.If you had gotten pregnant that first month you started trying, how would you have been a different parent? What changes have you made to your parenting style (either current or future) in the time you spent trying to conceive?
Shannon: There is no real way to know how things would have been. I'm sure I wouldn't have nearly enough patience. If definitely learned that! Since we started this journey, we have had plenty of time to evaluate other people's parenting styles and to discuss how we plan on doing ours. Simple things from discipline to nursery design.
Mrs Red:As much as I wanted to have a family started right away, I'm semi-glad it didn't happen right away. We have had time to travel where we want when we want. We also have had time to grow as a couple without the added stress of children. We have figured a lot of things out about ourselves and each other. We are both more patient and we know what we do and don't want to do in raising our kids. We've seen our friends and family raise their children and learned from their mistakes and successes how we will raise ours. We both reeeeeally want children ASAP but its all in Gods time. He has shown us that as ready as we thought we were, we weren't quite as ready as we wanted to be but I think we're better off now than we were when we first started. :-)
Ashley:
This is a great question! Its amazing how most of us are oblivious to how much of a miricle pregnancy and children really are. I really feel like our parenting would be very similar, however I feel like I will be more patient and much more thankful and tolerable to the little things. I feel like I will truly be greatful for every good and bad moment of the journey with pregnancy and children. I think we will definitly be more ready financially, mentally and structurely. We've had the opportunity to do things we wouldn't have been able to if we would have had children right away.
Shannon: There is no real way to know how things would have been. I'm sure I wouldn't have nearly enough patience. If definitely learned that! Since we started this journey, we have had plenty of time to evaluate other people's parenting styles and to discuss how we plan on doing ours. Simple things from discipline to nursery design.
Mrs Red:As much as I wanted to have a family started right away, I'm semi-glad it didn't happen right away. We have had time to travel where we want when we want. We also have had time to grow as a couple without the added stress of children. We have figured a lot of things out about ourselves and each other. We are both more patient and we know what we do and don't want to do in raising our kids. We've seen our friends and family raise their children and learned from their mistakes and successes how we will raise ours. We both reeeeeally want children ASAP but its all in Gods time. He has shown us that as ready as we thought we were, we weren't quite as ready as we wanted to be but I think we're better off now than we were when we first started. :-)
Ashley:
This is a great question! Its amazing how most of us are oblivious to how much of a miricle pregnancy and children really are. I really feel like our parenting would be very similar, however I feel like I will be more patient and much more thankful and tolerable to the little things. I feel like I will truly be greatful for every good and bad moment of the journey with pregnancy and children. I think we will definitly be more ready financially, mentally and structurely. We've had the opportunity to do things we wouldn't have been able to if we would have had children right away.
Question #6
6.Discuss how you found your way into the ALI (Adoption, Miscarriage, Infertility) community, and what being part of it has meant to you – good and bad.
Shannon: I found my way into the community when I felt really alone and almost depressed about the situation. I had no one that I could talk to that would understand. I searched for several blogs and found dailystrength.org. As much as I hate for others to go through this, it was nice to know I wasn't alone.
Mrs Red:
I found my way into the network around the time we tried our first rounds of clomid. Nothing makes u feel like a worse wife than not being able to get pregnant like so many women can. I felt like a failure to my hubby and needed some support. My SIL was having similar problems but she wouldn't talk to me about it. I asked her one time if she ever felt sad or depressed and she laughed at me and said she was superwoman. So I turned to the Internet and learned that I was not alone. And you know what? You aren't alone either! I found so many stories of women who give me hope and help me realize I'm not a failure, there is still hope for me and there are women everywhere who are willing to lend a caring ear or shoulder. :-)
Ashley:
Well, I found my way to ALI community six months after we started TTC. I was devistated, embarrassed, emotional and didn't know where to turn. We hadn't told anyone that we were going through this journey so it was a lot of weight on our shoulders. I also felt like no one who I told would understand what we were (are) going through. I was having an aweful day and went online and just looked at a couple online support group websites, I just chose one that I liked the best. I've been very happy with the online support group. Its my escape place...I can write down all my feelings without feeling guilty, get opinions and feed back about others situations, and give help to others going through the same situation. I can come and go as I please which is nice too. The only part that isn't so great is when your the only one not pregnant from your support group - it's a little sad but very hopeful too! Of course your happy for your "cysters" that have worked so hard to get where you want to be it just still sucks that your not where they are yet. I think its a great way vent, get feed back and spill your feelings. I don't know if I would be able to get through all of this without it.
Shannon: I found my way into the community when I felt really alone and almost depressed about the situation. I had no one that I could talk to that would understand. I searched for several blogs and found dailystrength.org. As much as I hate for others to go through this, it was nice to know I wasn't alone.
Mrs Red:
I found my way into the network around the time we tried our first rounds of clomid. Nothing makes u feel like a worse wife than not being able to get pregnant like so many women can. I felt like a failure to my hubby and needed some support. My SIL was having similar problems but she wouldn't talk to me about it. I asked her one time if she ever felt sad or depressed and she laughed at me and said she was superwoman. So I turned to the Internet and learned that I was not alone. And you know what? You aren't alone either! I found so many stories of women who give me hope and help me realize I'm not a failure, there is still hope for me and there are women everywhere who are willing to lend a caring ear or shoulder. :-)
Ashley:
Well, I found my way to ALI community six months after we started TTC. I was devistated, embarrassed, emotional and didn't know where to turn. We hadn't told anyone that we were going through this journey so it was a lot of weight on our shoulders. I also felt like no one who I told would understand what we were (are) going through. I was having an aweful day and went online and just looked at a couple online support group websites, I just chose one that I liked the best. I've been very happy with the online support group. Its my escape place...I can write down all my feelings without feeling guilty, get opinions and feed back about others situations, and give help to others going through the same situation. I can come and go as I please which is nice too. The only part that isn't so great is when your the only one not pregnant from your support group - it's a little sad but very hopeful too! Of course your happy for your "cysters" that have worked so hard to get where you want to be it just still sucks that your not where they are yet. I think its a great way vent, get feed back and spill your feelings. I don't know if I would be able to get through all of this without it.
Monday, January 9, 2012
"Infertile" vs "Infertility"
Google: "not fertile; unable to reproduce"
MedicineNet.com: "Not able to conceive after a year of regular intercourse without contraception"
thefreedictionary.com: "no fertile; unproductive; barren; incapable of producing offspring; sterile"
I am not infertile. To me, infertile and infertility are two DIFFERENT things.
Infertile is when your eggs are gone. You can't produce sperm or the sperm has too many issues to overcome.
Infertility is not being able to conceive naturally.
I suffer from infertility. My eggs don't release from the ovary into the fallopian tubes. BUT. I have eggs, therefore I am not "infertile". As you read my posts, you can probably notice that I dance around the use of that word. I will change it. Infertile is a word lacking any hope.
I have hope. Lots of hope.
~Shannon
MedicineNet.com: "Not able to conceive after a year of regular intercourse without contraception"
thefreedictionary.com: "no fertile; unproductive; barren; incapable of producing offspring; sterile"
I am not infertile. To me, infertile and infertility are two DIFFERENT things.
Infertile is when your eggs are gone. You can't produce sperm or the sperm has too many issues to overcome.
Infertility is not being able to conceive naturally.
I suffer from infertility. My eggs don't release from the ovary into the fallopian tubes. BUT. I have eggs, therefore I am not "infertile". As you read my posts, you can probably notice that I dance around the use of that word. I will change it. Infertile is a word lacking any hope.
I have hope. Lots of hope.
~Shannon
Question #5
5.Write a letter (one that you never have to send) to a fertile in your life. Did they hurt you? Support you? Tell them how you feel, all the things you can’t bring yourself to say in person.
First off, thank you for being practically the ONLY person who seems remotely interested in what I'm going through and treatments. However we have had a few rough patches throughout this process. When I was first diagnosed you said something that I was really painful. I can't remember if you were pregnant yet or not... But I had told you that it was a theory that PCOS was/is hereditary. There is no proof. But you had the audacity to ask me if I thought it was right of me to have kids if they might get this too. That stung. A lot. I didn't tell my husband about it until a year or two later. But he was FURIOUS. There is truth to "think before you speak". And when you announced your pregnancy you didn't even think about who you were sending out a text to or what it said. I know you were excited, but sometimes a little consideration goes a long way.
-Me
As another person who is fertility challenged and who knows the heartache and grief that battling infertility causes, why would you think it's ok to PRAY to God that someone else would not have a baby? I can't imagine what made you think that was something nice to wish for. All I ever wanted growing up was sisters and a baby. I got married to your brother and thought I would finally have sisters but instead I have 3 backstabbing mean girls. I know you have apologized since you said it but it hurts me to know u thought that at one point. And then lets not forget that you never believe, acknowledge, or gave me any kind of sympathy on my miscarriage. As one who's gone through them herself should know the first one is hard! I told you about it and instead of offering a lending ear, you questioned me and told me I was lying. Thats hurtful an mean. I forgive you even though everyone else says I shouldn't but I can't live with feeling anger and hurt towards anyone. Forgiven people forgive people. I hope you realize how evil and hurtful that was to do to someone, especially your own brother.
-Me
Shannon:
Dear You,First off, thank you for being practically the ONLY person who seems remotely interested in what I'm going through and treatments. However we have had a few rough patches throughout this process. When I was first diagnosed you said something that I was really painful. I can't remember if you were pregnant yet or not... But I had told you that it was a theory that PCOS was/is hereditary. There is no proof. But you had the audacity to ask me if I thought it was right of me to have kids if they might get this too. That stung. A lot. I didn't tell my husband about it until a year or two later. But he was FURIOUS. There is truth to "think before you speak". And when you announced your pregnancy you didn't even think about who you were sending out a text to or what it said. I know you were excited, but sometimes a little consideration goes a long way.
-Me
Mrs Red:
Dear A,As another person who is fertility challenged and who knows the heartache and grief that battling infertility causes, why would you think it's ok to PRAY to God that someone else would not have a baby? I can't imagine what made you think that was something nice to wish for. All I ever wanted growing up was sisters and a baby. I got married to your brother and thought I would finally have sisters but instead I have 3 backstabbing mean girls. I know you have apologized since you said it but it hurts me to know u thought that at one point. And then lets not forget that you never believe, acknowledge, or gave me any kind of sympathy on my miscarriage. As one who's gone through them herself should know the first one is hard! I told you about it and instead of offering a lending ear, you questioned me and told me I was lying. Thats hurtful an mean. I forgive you even though everyone else says I shouldn't but I can't live with feeling anger and hurt towards anyone. Forgiven people forgive people. I hope you realize how evil and hurtful that was to do to someone, especially your own brother.
-Me
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Question #4
4. Besides Mothers Day, what is the hardest holiday for you as an infertile?
Shannon: Halloween was one... Opening the doors to all the little trick-or-treaters! And of course Thanksgiving when you are sayings Thanks... and Christmas when buying everyone gifts. Any indication that time is ticking right on by.
Mrs Red:
Fathers day of course... Just as bad as mothers day... Um... Oh first day of school kills me every year because I wonder if I'll ever get that... Thanksgivin and Christmas are obviously hard, new years! I cant help but wonder if the next year will be the year for me to have a baby... And my birthday because it's a reminder of how old I'm getting, and still no babies... I always thought I'd have at least 2 kids by now... One day...
Shannon: Halloween was one... Opening the doors to all the little trick-or-treaters! And of course Thanksgiving when you are sayings Thanks... and Christmas when buying everyone gifts. Any indication that time is ticking right on by.
Mrs Red:
Fathers day of course... Just as bad as mothers day... Um... Oh first day of school kills me every year because I wonder if I'll ever get that... Thanksgivin and Christmas are obviously hard, new years! I cant help but wonder if the next year will be the year for me to have a baby... And my birthday because it's a reminder of how old I'm getting, and still no babies... I always thought I'd have at least 2 kids by now... One day...
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Warm Welcome!
I'm so excited!
I'd like to welcome Ashley to our Authors board!!! It will be great to have another one joining us to add their experiences, past, present and future.
Hi Ashley!
I'd like to welcome Ashley to our Authors board!!! It will be great to have another one joining us to add their experiences, past, present and future.
Hi Ashley!
Views Around the World!
I am impressed on the places in the world that people are reading this blog from! So far the majority is United States BUT we also have guests from:
Australia!
Germany!
United Kingdom!
Panama!
Poland! (My mom is Polish & Czech!)
Thailand!
Thanks for visiting! Don't forget to follow us!
~Shannon
Australia!
Germany!
United Kingdom!
Panama!
Poland! (My mom is Polish & Czech!)
Thailand!
Thanks for visiting! Don't forget to follow us!
~Shannon
Question #3
3.When talking to your fertile parenting friends, what is/was your favorite “perk” of childlessness to rub in their face? Sleeping in? Vacations? Hot pre-pregnancy body? Come on, confess!
Shannon: Oh the joys :o) I am not going to lie here. There are SOOO many times when we are either about to do something or just finished and I look at my Hubs and go... "Couldn't do this with kids!" Spontaneity is definitely at the top... Dinners, shopping, MOVIES, to name a few. Not having to worry about cooking every night. We can sit and watch whatever we want on TV and spend all day/evening on the computer or reading a book. LOVE sleeping in... And going to college. Less doctor's appointments or sick days. No emergency calls from a kid's school. We have pets too but let's be honest: SUPER EASY. Feed 'em twice a day, let 'em out once in a while, and then they either play together or cuddle up on the couch with you (sounds like small pets... but really a cat & two black labs!).
Oh, and after spending the afternoon at my SIL's... I'm glad that when kids throw tantrums they aren't my kids!
Mrs Red:
oh man... My favorite 'perk'? Hmmm kind of a toss up between sleeping in! Alllll I hear my parent friends complain about is never sleeping and having time for themselves. I kind of wouldn't miss time for myself (I don't think) but sleep? Pshhhh I go to sleep when I want and wake up when I want! Well should say 'we' because my husband likes us to wake up around the same time so when I know he's up I won't stay asleep much longer.
The other perk I love is spontaneity! If we want to just pick up an go somewhere all of a sudden we can. We have fur babies so we still semi have to stop and think but u can leave dogs at home alone for a day trip, or a last minute concert or night out, no babysitters needed. That is awesome
Ashley:
Oh, yes, this is the one thing we can have a little fun with.....I would say mine is sleeping in, spontaneity, and even though I don't drink much anymore...having a glass of wine or an alcoholic beverage seems to give me a little "glow." But ultimately you still feel like you'd give all of it up in a heart beat to be in their shoes, and you know its worth it.
Shannon: Oh the joys :o) I am not going to lie here. There are SOOO many times when we are either about to do something or just finished and I look at my Hubs and go... "Couldn't do this with kids!" Spontaneity is definitely at the top... Dinners, shopping, MOVIES, to name a few. Not having to worry about cooking every night. We can sit and watch whatever we want on TV and spend all day/evening on the computer or reading a book. LOVE sleeping in... And going to college. Less doctor's appointments or sick days. No emergency calls from a kid's school. We have pets too but let's be honest: SUPER EASY. Feed 'em twice a day, let 'em out once in a while, and then they either play together or cuddle up on the couch with you (sounds like small pets... but really a cat & two black labs!).
Oh, and after spending the afternoon at my SIL's... I'm glad that when kids throw tantrums they aren't my kids!
Mrs Red:
oh man... My favorite 'perk'? Hmmm kind of a toss up between sleeping in! Alllll I hear my parent friends complain about is never sleeping and having time for themselves. I kind of wouldn't miss time for myself (I don't think) but sleep? Pshhhh I go to sleep when I want and wake up when I want! Well should say 'we' because my husband likes us to wake up around the same time so when I know he's up I won't stay asleep much longer.
The other perk I love is spontaneity! If we want to just pick up an go somewhere all of a sudden we can. We have fur babies so we still semi have to stop and think but u can leave dogs at home alone for a day trip, or a last minute concert or night out, no babysitters needed. That is awesome
Ashley:
Oh, yes, this is the one thing we can have a little fun with.....I would say mine is sleeping in, spontaneity, and even though I don't drink much anymore...having a glass of wine or an alcoholic beverage seems to give me a little "glow." But ultimately you still feel like you'd give all of it up in a heart beat to be in their shoes, and you know its worth it.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Need a Cry Day?
Do you ever feel the need to just sit for a while and cry? Sometimes I do it without realizing it.
I will sit down on the computer and just wander to YouTube... next thing I know I'm watching fertility videos. All sorts of them... Help videos, success videos, songs, everything.
End up balling my eyes out for an hour. It helps. :o)
My FAVORITE song is this one: Kellie Coffey: I would die for that
I will sit down on the computer and just wander to YouTube... next thing I know I'm watching fertility videos. All sorts of them... Help videos, success videos, songs, everything.
End up balling my eyes out for an hour. It helps. :o)
My FAVORITE song is this one: Kellie Coffey: I would die for that
Question #2
2.Discuss the most ridiculous thing you ever heard about conception. Where did you hear it? Did it work for someone else? Did you try it?
Shannon: Honestly, "keep your legs in the air for 30 minutes after" is one of the most ridiculous I've heard. BUT at the same time it makes sense because of gravity. Crazy thing? It worked for one of my coworkers. Hubs and I would try it, he was used to seeing me like that after, lol. But when I discovered more about my cycles and that I don't ovulate, there is no point in doing that.
Mrs Red:
Hmmm... Ones tried to no avail and ones that were just plain silly
*Stand on ur head while y'all are having sex... Ummm ow and no didn't try this one.. Well on purpose anyway ;-)
*don't have sex for a year or at least a long period of time, it'll make him have supersperm... Tried it (2 months was the cap) didn't work, he's not the problem...
*some Mexican herb tea every morning and rub belladonna and apple cream on ur lower belly everyday... Tried it, the tea was yucky and had a very distinct smell and flavor. Didn't work for me but relatives in Mexico swear by it
*get a Mayan massage on your uterus and drink some wild weed root boiled in water (it grows alllll over my SIL's yard) ... I didn't try it but my sis in law did.. She did end up pregnant after 10 years but I think she was doing hormone injections at the same time...
There's prolly more but these are the most memorable :-)
Shannon: Honestly, "keep your legs in the air for 30 minutes after" is one of the most ridiculous I've heard. BUT at the same time it makes sense because of gravity. Crazy thing? It worked for one of my coworkers. Hubs and I would try it, he was used to seeing me like that after, lol. But when I discovered more about my cycles and that I don't ovulate, there is no point in doing that.
Mrs Red:
Hmmm... Ones tried to no avail and ones that were just plain silly
*Stand on ur head while y'all are having sex... Ummm ow and no didn't try this one.. Well on purpose anyway ;-)
*don't have sex for a year or at least a long period of time, it'll make him have supersperm... Tried it (2 months was the cap) didn't work, he's not the problem...
*some Mexican herb tea every morning and rub belladonna and apple cream on ur lower belly everyday... Tried it, the tea was yucky and had a very distinct smell and flavor. Didn't work for me but relatives in Mexico swear by it
*get a Mayan massage on your uterus and drink some wild weed root boiled in water (it grows alllll over my SIL's yard) ... I didn't try it but my sis in law did.. She did end up pregnant after 10 years but I think she was doing hormone injections at the same time...
There's prolly more but these are the most memorable :-)
Thank You!
I want to thank everyone that has read the blog! Please feel free to follow the blog! If you have your own story you would want including, please contact us! We would love to hear from people!
Question #1
1.How did you and your partner decide when you were ready to start trying to conceive?
Shannon: The day was April 27, 2008. Hubs younger brother was still living with us at the duplex. Hubs and I had been arguing a lot (mainly about BIL) and finally had a sit down. Throw the process we agreed that BIL would move back to his dad's at the end of the school year. In trying to get our future goals on track with each other we both decided that we wanted to start a family....
Mrs Red: Firstly, we had been bf/gf since april 2002. So in February 2006 when we got engaged, we were out of town when it happened so when we were on our way home. We were talking about wedding dates, I was looking at the calendar for 2007 and was all 'well our anniversary falls on this day and...." he cuts me off and says "wow isn't that soon?" so I was like ".... Ok so the next year?" and he goes I don't want to wait til next year! I was like waaaaaat? He wanted to get married before the end of the year because he said he wanted to start a family with me already! :-D so we decided before we were married to start ttc as soon as we left for our honeymoon lol. And yes, we waited... Unfortunately we didn't know it was going to take this long....
-Steph
Ashley:
Well while my husband and I were dating we knew we both wanted kids soon. We got engaged in January 2010 and married in April 2010. Two months before we got married we had a serious talk about when we really wanted to start trying. I just couldn't believe how real it felt, because I have been looking forward to this moment for my whole life...I was a little nervous and told him I thought we could wait until we were married about 6 months but my husband convinced me that we were both ready and a little nervous and that wouldn't go away in six months. He said we should just finished with the pack of birth control pills the month before our wedding and start right away. I agreed and thought it may take us a few months to get pregnant anyhow. So we both agreed we would see how things go the first 6 months and then start trying hard core. So I finished my pack of pills 2 weeks before our wedding....and I was excited I would be ovulating on our wedding weekend or during our honeymoon. However, one month after we were married I suspected I had PCOS. I am a sonographer for work and deal with the menstrual cycle and disorders of it every day, apparently I couldn't separate work and my personal life. I "self-diagnosed" myself and saw a doctor for it two months after we were married which confirmed the diagnosis. I ovulated the next month, but didn't ovulate for 13 months following that! I wasn't responding to any meds our whole first year of infertility. I certainly don't regret starting to try right away....I'm really glad we started when we did, because almost 2 years later we still aren't pregnant.
Leah
Chris and I first met when I was 23 and he was 29. We decided we wanted to try for a family, so I went off of birth control in September 2006 and had my first cycle off of birth control in October 2006. We started trying and trying, even though my periods were getting farther and farther apart and we got married in February 2007. We went to an RE, I was diagnosed with PCOS and did cycles with Clomid. I got pregnant once, but lost it at 5 weeks. That was the hardest thing, I think. Then, other medical issues came up and life just kind of put us in a tailspin. I guess, now, it makes it 5 years of trying? We are going back to the RE this summer.
Shannon: The day was April 27, 2008. Hubs younger brother was still living with us at the duplex. Hubs and I had been arguing a lot (mainly about BIL) and finally had a sit down. Throw the process we agreed that BIL would move back to his dad's at the end of the school year. In trying to get our future goals on track with each other we both decided that we wanted to start a family....
Mrs Red: Firstly, we had been bf/gf since april 2002. So in February 2006 when we got engaged, we were out of town when it happened so when we were on our way home. We were talking about wedding dates, I was looking at the calendar for 2007 and was all 'well our anniversary falls on this day and...." he cuts me off and says "wow isn't that soon?" so I was like ".... Ok so the next year?" and he goes I don't want to wait til next year! I was like waaaaaat? He wanted to get married before the end of the year because he said he wanted to start a family with me already! :-D so we decided before we were married to start ttc as soon as we left for our honeymoon lol. And yes, we waited... Unfortunately we didn't know it was going to take this long....
-Steph
Ashley:
Well while my husband and I were dating we knew we both wanted kids soon. We got engaged in January 2010 and married in April 2010. Two months before we got married we had a serious talk about when we really wanted to start trying. I just couldn't believe how real it felt, because I have been looking forward to this moment for my whole life...I was a little nervous and told him I thought we could wait until we were married about 6 months but my husband convinced me that we were both ready and a little nervous and that wouldn't go away in six months. He said we should just finished with the pack of birth control pills the month before our wedding and start right away. I agreed and thought it may take us a few months to get pregnant anyhow. So we both agreed we would see how things go the first 6 months and then start trying hard core. So I finished my pack of pills 2 weeks before our wedding....and I was excited I would be ovulating on our wedding weekend or during our honeymoon. However, one month after we were married I suspected I had PCOS. I am a sonographer for work and deal with the menstrual cycle and disorders of it every day, apparently I couldn't separate work and my personal life. I "self-diagnosed" myself and saw a doctor for it two months after we were married which confirmed the diagnosis. I ovulated the next month, but didn't ovulate for 13 months following that! I wasn't responding to any meds our whole first year of infertility. I certainly don't regret starting to try right away....I'm really glad we started when we did, because almost 2 years later we still aren't pregnant.
Leah
Chris and I first met when I was 23 and he was 29. We decided we wanted to try for a family, so I went off of birth control in September 2006 and had my first cycle off of birth control in October 2006. We started trying and trying, even though my periods were getting farther and farther apart and we got married in February 2007. We went to an RE, I was diagnosed with PCOS and did cycles with Clomid. I got pregnant once, but lost it at 5 weeks. That was the hardest thing, I think. Then, other medical issues came up and life just kind of put us in a tailspin. I guess, now, it makes it 5 years of trying? We are going back to the RE this summer.
30 Days, 30 Questions!
Each day we will each answer a question from this fertility questionnaire:
1.How did you and your partner decide when you were ready to start trying to conceive?
2.Discuss the most ridiculous thing you ever heard about conception. Where did you hear it? Did it work for someone else? Did you try it?
3.When talking to your fertile parenting friends, what is/was your favorite “perk” of childlessnessh to rub in their face? Sleeping in? Vacations? Hot pre-pregnancy body? Come on, confess!
4.Besides Mothers Day, what is the hardest holiday for you as an infertile?
5.Write a letter (one that you never have to send) to a fertile in your life. Did they hurt you? Support you? Tell them how you feel, all the things you can’t bring yourself to say in person.
6.Discuss how you found your way into the ALI community, and what being part of it has meant to you – good and bad.
7.If you had gotten pregnant that first month you started trying, how would you have been a different parent? What changes have you made to your parenting style (either current or future) in the time you spent trying to conceive?
8.Share a recipe for your favorite alcoholic drink (or, if you don’t drink, it can be non-alcoholic but make it fun!), and your favorite comfort and/or post-bfn food.
9.What was the first baby or pregnancy-related purchase you ever made? Was it before or after you started trying to conceive? Or was it after you were already pregnant? Why did you choose that particular item to buy first? If you haven’t purchased anything yet, why not?
10.Other than the song “I Would Die For That,” post a video of a song that has special meaning to you and your infertility journey. Explain it, if you’re comfortable doing so.
11.Post your favorite pre-ttc picture of yourself. Why is it your favorite? If possible, talk about that day/moment.
12.Talk about how you chose your RE.
13.Post the list of potential baby names that you seriously considered, but can no longer use because someone stole it/it became too popular/whatever reason.
14.If a very observant stranger were to walk into your house, what clues could lead them to believe that you have struggled with infertility?
15.If you are not yet pregnant/a parent: What are you MOST and LEAST looking forward to after that first beta? If you are already pregnant/a parent: What was the most pleasant/unpleasant thing about pregnancy? If you have taken the childfree path: What pregnancy symptom are you happy to have avoided, and which one do you wish you’d experienced?
16.If you are not yet a parent: What are you MOST looking forward to about parenthood? If you are a parent: What is the most surprising thing about being a parent? If you have taken the childfree path: What is the most surprising part of living childfree after infertility?
17.Tell us your funniest Clomid/Femara/Injectibles mood-swing story. If you don’t have one, tell us your funniest general infertility drug story.
18.Tell us about a pre-ttc pregnancy “scare.” With your current partner, or with an ex.
19.What tv show/movie/commercial/print ad has bothered you the most since you began trying to conceive? If possible, post it here. Tell us why it bothered you so much.
20.Have you ever bonded with someone IRL over infertility, even just for a few minutes? It could be a family member, friend, neighbor, or even the clerk at the grocery store who noticed your OPK and vitamin purchase. Tell the story.
21.What is your favorite infertility-related quote? It doesn’t have to be explicitly related to infertility, but one that means something to your personal journey.
22.Were you the product of infertility? Was anyone you know the product of infertility? How do you know? Or do you just suspect based on circumstances like age differences between siblings, time between marriage and conception, etc.
23.Does your religion (or lack of) help/hurt/affect your infertility journey? Have you found religion? Lost it? Does it affect what treatments you do?
24.How has your financial situation affected your infertility journey?
25.Talk about a time when you made someone in your life understand more about infertility.
26.What do you use the “nursery” for right now? If you already had a baby, what did you use it for before pregnancy?
27.If you had known that you would have trouble conceiving, what would you have done differently in life? If you already knew, did that knowledge affect your other life choices?
28.Have you ever done something “non-traditional” in order to help you conceive?
29.Tell us about a friendship you lost or a relationship that changed for the worse because of infertility.
30.After a month of infertility talk, we need a distraction. Give us a link to one of your favorite non-infertility-sites, or tell us about your favorite distraction activity/book/feel-good movie.
1.How did you and your partner decide when you were ready to start trying to conceive?
2.Discuss the most ridiculous thing you ever heard about conception. Where did you hear it? Did it work for someone else? Did you try it?
3.When talking to your fertile parenting friends, what is/was your favorite “perk” of childlessnessh to rub in their face? Sleeping in? Vacations? Hot pre-pregnancy body? Come on, confess!
4.Besides Mothers Day, what is the hardest holiday for you as an infertile?
5.Write a letter (one that you never have to send) to a fertile in your life. Did they hurt you? Support you? Tell them how you feel, all the things you can’t bring yourself to say in person.
6.Discuss how you found your way into the ALI community, and what being part of it has meant to you – good and bad.
7.If you had gotten pregnant that first month you started trying, how would you have been a different parent? What changes have you made to your parenting style (either current or future) in the time you spent trying to conceive?
8.Share a recipe for your favorite alcoholic drink (or, if you don’t drink, it can be non-alcoholic but make it fun!), and your favorite comfort and/or post-bfn food.
9.What was the first baby or pregnancy-related purchase you ever made? Was it before or after you started trying to conceive? Or was it after you were already pregnant? Why did you choose that particular item to buy first? If you haven’t purchased anything yet, why not?
10.Other than the song “I Would Die For That,” post a video of a song that has special meaning to you and your infertility journey. Explain it, if you’re comfortable doing so.
11.Post your favorite pre-ttc picture of yourself. Why is it your favorite? If possible, talk about that day/moment.
12.Talk about how you chose your RE.
13.Post the list of potential baby names that you seriously considered, but can no longer use because someone stole it/it became too popular/whatever reason.
14.If a very observant stranger were to walk into your house, what clues could lead them to believe that you have struggled with infertility?
15.If you are not yet pregnant/a parent: What are you MOST and LEAST looking forward to after that first beta? If you are already pregnant/a parent: What was the most pleasant/unpleasant thing about pregnancy? If you have taken the childfree path: What pregnancy symptom are you happy to have avoided, and which one do you wish you’d experienced?
16.If you are not yet a parent: What are you MOST looking forward to about parenthood? If you are a parent: What is the most surprising thing about being a parent? If you have taken the childfree path: What is the most surprising part of living childfree after infertility?
17.Tell us your funniest Clomid/Femara/Injectibles mood-swing story. If you don’t have one, tell us your funniest general infertility drug story.
18.Tell us about a pre-ttc pregnancy “scare.” With your current partner, or with an ex.
19.What tv show/movie/commercial/print ad has bothered you the most since you began trying to conceive? If possible, post it here. Tell us why it bothered you so much.
20.Have you ever bonded with someone IRL over infertility, even just for a few minutes? It could be a family member, friend, neighbor, or even the clerk at the grocery store who noticed your OPK and vitamin purchase. Tell the story.
21.What is your favorite infertility-related quote? It doesn’t have to be explicitly related to infertility, but one that means something to your personal journey.
22.Were you the product of infertility? Was anyone you know the product of infertility? How do you know? Or do you just suspect based on circumstances like age differences between siblings, time between marriage and conception, etc.
23.Does your religion (or lack of) help/hurt/affect your infertility journey? Have you found religion? Lost it? Does it affect what treatments you do?
24.How has your financial situation affected your infertility journey?
25.Talk about a time when you made someone in your life understand more about infertility.
26.What do you use the “nursery” for right now? If you already had a baby, what did you use it for before pregnancy?
27.If you had known that you would have trouble conceiving, what would you have done differently in life? If you already knew, did that knowledge affect your other life choices?
28.Have you ever done something “non-traditional” in order to help you conceive?
29.Tell us about a friendship you lost or a relationship that changed for the worse because of infertility.
30.After a month of infertility talk, we need a distraction. Give us a link to one of your favorite non-infertility-sites, or tell us about your favorite distraction activity/book/feel-good movie.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Wordless
Sometimes in life events happen that you just don't know how to react to.
Sometimes it doesn't happen directly to you but to the people you love.
I don't even know where to start.
October 2010 my SIL announced she was pregnant. In February, at 22 weeks, she had a placenta abruption and was in the hospital for 6 weeks. She had an emergency c-section at 28 weeks on April 13th. Unfortunately Max had an infection and passed away on April 14th.
November 2011, at her birthday dinner, she announced she was pregnant again! So exciting but it was really early (3 weeks, approx).
Just found out this evening that she had a miscarriage last night.
I feel sooooo bad for her.
Nobody deserves that. Especially not them.
Sometimes it doesn't happen directly to you but to the people you love.
I don't even know where to start.
October 2010 my SIL announced she was pregnant. In February, at 22 weeks, she had a placenta abruption and was in the hospital for 6 weeks. She had an emergency c-section at 28 weeks on April 13th. Unfortunately Max had an infection and passed away on April 14th.
November 2011, at her birthday dinner, she announced she was pregnant again! So exciting but it was really early (3 weeks, approx).
Just found out this evening that she had a miscarriage last night.
I feel sooooo bad for her.
Nobody deserves that. Especially not them.
Surgeries
So I had 2 surgeries in one year...
March 2010- ovarian drilling and cyst removal
I had been asking Dr3 to remove cysts because everyone said it would help but he kept saying no, it doesn't help, it's a waste of time and the recovery is rough blah blah blah... When he gave up on me, my SIL-1 had a surgery for ovarian drilling. So I said hmmmmm and looked into it. I had been feeling like my gyn wasn't doing enough for me so I found another doctor with the woman's clinic with the hospital group I wanted to deliver with one day anyway so I switched. Told him of the pains I get and he did some sonograms and then suggested the surgery if I was interested! Got the surgery a month later in march a week before my moms hysterectomy with the same doctor. Got the surgery, he made holes and said he removed half of my cysts and cleaned up a little bit of endometriosis but said it wasn't much. Then he said I could give it 6 months before trying treatments or jump right in. So we tried to see if thigs would work out on their own. It seemed like it because I got my AF every 32-36 days May, June, July and then... August happened... Well lemme back up, I threw up every day for my June and July cycles... In July I was visiting my SIL-1 who had just moved to Washington dc 6 weeks after having her miracle baby in April. Anyway I get back from DC and shortly after my July cycle 'ended' at the end of July, then I got my August one... Weird... Then it wouldn't stop... 6 weeks! I called the doctor and he saw me and gave me provera and said i needed to go to an RE... I was so happy it looked like I was normalizing and then boom there goes that happy... No more cycle... My other SIL (SIL-2) was pregnant and due in December and nothing make u question your own childless state like a baby shower you are obligated to attend... I started looking into my husbands insurance because we had just changed insurances in June since I quit my job (too much stress) and realized OMG we have infertility coverage!!!
December 2010- surgery number 2, laparoscopy/uterine polyp removal
So we went to a fertility doctor in November right before our anniversary. Well while we were in the middle of our fertility treatments round 1, they said it looked like I had polyup/scar tissue/possible tumor growth in my uterus and a pregnancy would probably end in a miscarriage and advised we stop the cycle and have surgery and resume after they results. I was devastated because earlier in the ear I had a skin cancer scare! (wear sunscreen kids!) surgery was 2 days before Christmas! merry Christmas... Surgery went good, tissue was benign and probably caused by my miscarriage the year before. So I healed up, was on BC for a month and could continue treatments with my February cycle (6wks after surgery)
These made surgery numbers 10 and 11 I think my next one is free ;-)
(5 sinus surgeries 2 knee 1 foot and a gall bladder)
-Mrs Red
March 2010- ovarian drilling and cyst removal
I had been asking Dr3 to remove cysts because everyone said it would help but he kept saying no, it doesn't help, it's a waste of time and the recovery is rough blah blah blah... When he gave up on me, my SIL-1 had a surgery for ovarian drilling. So I said hmmmmm and looked into it. I had been feeling like my gyn wasn't doing enough for me so I found another doctor with the woman's clinic with the hospital group I wanted to deliver with one day anyway so I switched. Told him of the pains I get and he did some sonograms and then suggested the surgery if I was interested! Got the surgery a month later in march a week before my moms hysterectomy with the same doctor. Got the surgery, he made holes and said he removed half of my cysts and cleaned up a little bit of endometriosis but said it wasn't much. Then he said I could give it 6 months before trying treatments or jump right in. So we tried to see if thigs would work out on their own. It seemed like it because I got my AF every 32-36 days May, June, July and then... August happened... Well lemme back up, I threw up every day for my June and July cycles... In July I was visiting my SIL-1 who had just moved to Washington dc 6 weeks after having her miracle baby in April. Anyway I get back from DC and shortly after my July cycle 'ended' at the end of July, then I got my August one... Weird... Then it wouldn't stop... 6 weeks! I called the doctor and he saw me and gave me provera and said i needed to go to an RE... I was so happy it looked like I was normalizing and then boom there goes that happy... No more cycle... My other SIL (SIL-2) was pregnant and due in December and nothing make u question your own childless state like a baby shower you are obligated to attend... I started looking into my husbands insurance because we had just changed insurances in June since I quit my job (too much stress) and realized OMG we have infertility coverage!!!
December 2010- surgery number 2, laparoscopy/uterine polyp removal
So we went to a fertility doctor in November right before our anniversary. Well while we were in the middle of our fertility treatments round 1, they said it looked like I had polyup/scar tissue/possible tumor growth in my uterus and a pregnancy would probably end in a miscarriage and advised we stop the cycle and have surgery and resume after they results. I was devastated because earlier in the ear I had a skin cancer scare! (wear sunscreen kids!) surgery was 2 days before Christmas! merry Christmas... Surgery went good, tissue was benign and probably caused by my miscarriage the year before. So I healed up, was on BC for a month and could continue treatments with my February cycle (6wks after surgery)
These made surgery numbers 10 and 11 I think my next one is free ;-)
(5 sinus surgeries 2 knee 1 foot and a gall bladder)
-Mrs Red
Ovulation predictor kits
Maybe because I've never really taken them at the right time or maybe because true only times I've taken them I've been on fertility meds but omg you would think they would be easier to use! Basically it's this stick that is very similar to a pregnancy test, u pee on it an 2 lines appear, only instead of "2 lines mean positive" you have to become a color expert and distinguish between shades of blue! If the test line is darker than the control line then you have an LH surge (something hormone, can't remember what it's called but u get a surge of it right before you ovulate). Ok then theres the whole thing on what time of day to take it, you have to do it at the same time everyday because the hormone only sticks around for 24 hours before u ovulate... I found ovulation kits stressful an no longer use them. There are things that say to take it between 3 & 5 pm which idk bout u but in at work and I'm not gonna do that at work! Lol then some things say any time of day an I think I even saw between 10 am & 12 pm... -__- between timing and the shades of blue... I give up on these! And then basal body temperature... Have u tried keeping up with that? Don't move don't talk don't wait to long don't don't don't don't... Yeah I wake up too many times at night then the first thing in the morning is morning kiss and then good morning... Then I'm half asleep to remember the thermometer and then it falls and so I move and there goes that days measurement... Ima just hope I ovulate one day and see how that goes lol
-Mrs Red
-Mrs Red
Confirming Its You Not Him
My journey continues a couple years later.... October 2010.
I had gotten news that a SIL was pregnant. I didn't take it well. (More on that to come). The next day, Hubs and I took off and tried to get further into setting up the infertility appointment with a specialist company.
Didn't even think that it can take WEEKS.
March 2011 we finally had our meeting with Dr. Christine Mansfield from Center for Assisted Reproduction Embryo.net. She was AMAZING. She was very informative and encouraging. I went over medical history (and brought in copies). She did an ultrasound to confirm PCOS (said I had at least 20 follicles on each ovary when most women have MAYBE 12) and noted my uterine lining was thick but said it may be from not having a period in so long (I already diagnosed that I am anovulatory). She also requested I take a glucose test to confirm that I didn't have hidden issues with my sugars that wouldn't show up in normal blood work.
She spoke to us about what our possibilities were based on my previous doctor records and their reports of me having PCOS. She recommended doing Clomid again since I have lost so much weight since the first round, and possibly doing Clomid with an insemination (they stick the sperm straight into my uterus when I ovulate). Did you know that Clomid works best at the lower doses?? The chances of conceiving are HIGHER at the low dose because at the higher dosage the lining in the uterus thins and there is only a 5% chance. BTW... each round of Clomid is $950. And each round is only 1 month. The insemination one is $1050 each round.
Through this whole meeting, the Hubs was with me (of course). And he was a nervous wreck. He knew he was going to have to do a sperm analysis. He actually wanted to just so we knew what all our cards were. But he was nervous. I tried to get him this book:
But he refused to read it. Let me try to properly tell what he told me:
They called him to take the test and had him sign in with a time. He saw there was a sign out time so he assumed it wouldn't take him long so he put for 5 minutes after he went in. 25 minutes later... He came back out. I asked him about it and he said he was fairly confident that it would be no problem, just like masturbating. He said the room was ok and had magazines but he'd be okay and then flip the page and there would be Zach Galifianakis' face advertising a movie. And there would go all his hard work. He said on top of that he could hear the toilet flushing in the adjoining room and voices when people would walk by. He was worried that if HE could hear THEM and THEY could hear HIM. Basically he told me that, although he didn't believe it before, it is possible to cum when not hard. LOL
Anyhow, within 10 minutes of his turning in the donation they came back with the results.... Drumroll please....
PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS! 2.5 times the minimum number of sperm, and 1.5 times the minimum motility! In other words, his sperm was AWESOME.
And I was relieved that he didn't have a problem and it was just me. JUST ME. Great. Now I felt like crap even more. It is hard to explain. I didn't want anything to be wrong with him. He stressed about it enough and was sure that it was him. He need the confidence boost. I was so glad we didn't have any more complications. But that little part of me hurt. Knowing that I am the one to blame for not being able to get pregnant. Having to do fertility treatments is because of MY body. Not being able to create a family like most other couples is because of ME.
Some things are hard to not dwell on. Even now.
~Shannon
I had gotten news that a SIL was pregnant. I didn't take it well. (More on that to come). The next day, Hubs and I took off and tried to get further into setting up the infertility appointment with a specialist company.
Didn't even think that it can take WEEKS.
March 2011 we finally had our meeting with Dr. Christine Mansfield from Center for Assisted Reproduction Embryo.net. She was AMAZING. She was very informative and encouraging. I went over medical history (and brought in copies). She did an ultrasound to confirm PCOS (said I had at least 20 follicles on each ovary when most women have MAYBE 12) and noted my uterine lining was thick but said it may be from not having a period in so long (I already diagnosed that I am anovulatory). She also requested I take a glucose test to confirm that I didn't have hidden issues with my sugars that wouldn't show up in normal blood work.
She spoke to us about what our possibilities were based on my previous doctor records and their reports of me having PCOS. She recommended doing Clomid again since I have lost so much weight since the first round, and possibly doing Clomid with an insemination (they stick the sperm straight into my uterus when I ovulate). Did you know that Clomid works best at the lower doses?? The chances of conceiving are HIGHER at the low dose because at the higher dosage the lining in the uterus thins and there is only a 5% chance. BTW... each round of Clomid is $950. And each round is only 1 month. The insemination one is $1050 each round.
Through this whole meeting, the Hubs was with me (of course). And he was a nervous wreck. He knew he was going to have to do a sperm analysis. He actually wanted to just so we knew what all our cards were. But he was nervous. I tried to get him this book:
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| http://www.plasticcupbook.com/ |
They called him to take the test and had him sign in with a time. He saw there was a sign out time so he assumed it wouldn't take him long so he put for 5 minutes after he went in. 25 minutes later... He came back out. I asked him about it and he said he was fairly confident that it would be no problem, just like masturbating. He said the room was ok and had magazines but he'd be okay and then flip the page and there would be Zach Galifianakis' face advertising a movie. And there would go all his hard work. He said on top of that he could hear the toilet flushing in the adjoining room and voices when people would walk by. He was worried that if HE could hear THEM and THEY could hear HIM. Basically he told me that, although he didn't believe it before, it is possible to cum when not hard. LOL
Anyhow, within 10 minutes of his turning in the donation they came back with the results.... Drumroll please....
PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS! 2.5 times the minimum number of sperm, and 1.5 times the minimum motility! In other words, his sperm was AWESOME.
And I was relieved that he didn't have a problem and it was just me. JUST ME. Great. Now I felt like crap even more. It is hard to explain. I didn't want anything to be wrong with him. He stressed about it enough and was sure that it was him. He need the confidence boost. I was so glad we didn't have any more complications. But that little part of me hurt. Knowing that I am the one to blame for not being able to get pregnant. Having to do fertility treatments is because of MY body. Not being able to create a family like most other couples is because of ME.
Some things are hard to not dwell on. Even now.
~Shannon
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Apparently I Wasn't The Only One With This Idea...
I was reading another blog I follow and they had posted an interesting link.
Basically for the same concept as this blog! LoL!
I don't mind at all. I am glad that others are wanting to get the word out too.
Here is their link: Bloggersforhope.com
Basically for the same concept as this blog! LoL!
I don't mind at all. I am glad that others are wanting to get the word out too.
Here is their link: Bloggersforhope.com
Mrs Red and Clomid never became friends.... So on to the HSG!
So I'm going to try to recall my clomid treatments while heating up soup from last night....
I think I mostly summed it up in my crappy doctor quest but maybe I can go into more detail.
Metformin.... God I hated metformin! They told me to take 3 pills (don't remember the dose) and that made me soooooo sick. Might want to skip this section if your eating r sensitive to nasty stuff! Lol anyways so it made my stomach cramp, gave me crazy headaches and the runs like no ones business.... Oh and constant nausea ! No bueno... (not good for you non spanish speakers) so I asked the doctor and he said to knock down the dose to one pill for a week then split it up one pill in the am and one at lunch for a week then go to 3 pills the next week... Ok one that was complicates but I tried it. Still stomach problems at one pill but not unbearable but as soon as we went to 2 forget it. So he said just try one pill... When I passed out at work he said fine I can stop it but that the clomid wasn't going to work. He was kind of a jerk about it too... But I guess the jerk was right because after 10 rounds of clomid split up over 2 years it never worked....
After my last round of clomid my 3rd gyn we'll call him Dr3 said for us to try an HSG test so that he could send it to the RE.
The HSG hurt... It was very uncomfortable, like Shannon mentioned, the room was freeeeeezing!!! Wear socks! I was so worried because they said I couldn't be bleeding and of course my body didn't want to cooperate! Why would it... I bled up to the morning of the exam... I went anyway because it was just spotting... As soon as I checked in I went to the rr to check and no more blood, YES! So I wait n wait because nowhere I schedule anything is ever on time... Why would they be? It's just Steph! Anyway, so they call me back and have me change an so I check again and still no blood :-) so I change and in nervous, the room is cold an I don't know any of these doctors doing the test... They used a plastic thingy and then inserted the catheter thingy which pinched and hurt... They kept telling me to relax but... Yeah between the cold, my nerves, the strangers, and the discomfort that was hard so they went slower... Then came the due and omg that hurt as it pushed trough! But both sides were clear :-) they said to take some Motrin because I would probably cramp and bleed and oh did I cramp, I was so glad I took the rest of that day off of work!
"a little pinch" and "some slight discomfort" are 2 phrases I will no longer trust from doctors! LoL
*steph*
I think I mostly summed it up in my crappy doctor quest but maybe I can go into more detail.
Metformin.... God I hated metformin! They told me to take 3 pills (don't remember the dose) and that made me soooooo sick. Might want to skip this section if your eating r sensitive to nasty stuff! Lol anyways so it made my stomach cramp, gave me crazy headaches and the runs like no ones business.... Oh and constant nausea ! No bueno... (not good for you non spanish speakers) so I asked the doctor and he said to knock down the dose to one pill for a week then split it up one pill in the am and one at lunch for a week then go to 3 pills the next week... Ok one that was complicates but I tried it. Still stomach problems at one pill but not unbearable but as soon as we went to 2 forget it. So he said just try one pill... When I passed out at work he said fine I can stop it but that the clomid wasn't going to work. He was kind of a jerk about it too... But I guess the jerk was right because after 10 rounds of clomid split up over 2 years it never worked....
After my last round of clomid my 3rd gyn we'll call him Dr3 said for us to try an HSG test so that he could send it to the RE.
The HSG hurt... It was very uncomfortable, like Shannon mentioned, the room was freeeeeezing!!! Wear socks! I was so worried because they said I couldn't be bleeding and of course my body didn't want to cooperate! Why would it... I bled up to the morning of the exam... I went anyway because it was just spotting... As soon as I checked in I went to the rr to check and no more blood, YES! So I wait n wait because nowhere I schedule anything is ever on time... Why would they be? It's just Steph! Anyway, so they call me back and have me change an so I check again and still no blood :-) so I change and in nervous, the room is cold an I don't know any of these doctors doing the test... They used a plastic thingy and then inserted the catheter thingy which pinched and hurt... They kept telling me to relax but... Yeah between the cold, my nerves, the strangers, and the discomfort that was hard so they went slower... Then came the due and omg that hurt as it pushed trough! But both sides were clear :-) they said to take some Motrin because I would probably cramp and bleed and oh did I cramp, I was so glad I took the rest of that day off of work!
"a little pinch" and "some slight discomfort" are 2 phrases I will no longer trust from doctors! LoL
*steph*
Shannon's Fertility Treatments
I will admit. This will probably be short...
And I want to add that my regular doctor (Dr. Flo-first name... I find it hilarious!) tested me for hypothyroidism. Mainly because I was gaining weight really fast after I became sexually active. Didn't have it though.
Dr. Flo recommended me to a fertility doctor (Dr. S.) because she is an OB/GYN and elderly patient doctor. Dr. S. is the one that ordered the HSG test. She kept me on 3 months of BC before I started my 1st round of clomid.
The 1st round was at 50 mg in January 2009 and she had me start metformin too (although my glucose/insulin levels were fine). Had to take clomid days 5-10, and have sex days 6,8, and 10. Then do bloodwork on either days 14 & 21 or 21 & 28... I'm sure I could find the instructions somewhere. BTW, the bloodwork took a week for the results to come in! BFN.
The doctor had me wait to see if my cycle would start. It didn't and on day 63 since the last cycle I finally had another appointment with the doctor. She decided to put me on provera to get my cycle started and then do another cycle of clomid at 100 mg.
Right before I started the clomid we moved in with my FIL to save money for a house and to help him with being laid off.
So we had to do this 2nd round at his house. Interesting, to say the least. The 2nd round was postponed because my period from that round of provera ended up lasting longer than expected (at least 2 weeks). And then I was on one month of BC. So the 2nd round of clomid was in April 2009. BFN again.
Due to stress at home (living with the FIL, Hubs getting laid off, getting ready to go back to school, etc) I talked to Dr. S. and decided to put off treatments for a while. She had recommended from the beginning to lose weight and suggested I try again. I didn't think it would make a difference because, even though I had gained a lot since high school, I wasn't "normal" in high school either.
Sadly... Life got crazy and this was the extent of our fertility treatments... Another post to come to follow up on the next few years.
~Shannon
And I want to add that my regular doctor (Dr. Flo-first name... I find it hilarious!) tested me for hypothyroidism. Mainly because I was gaining weight really fast after I became sexually active. Didn't have it though.
Dr. Flo recommended me to a fertility doctor (Dr. S.) because she is an OB/GYN and elderly patient doctor. Dr. S. is the one that ordered the HSG test. She kept me on 3 months of BC before I started my 1st round of clomid.
The 1st round was at 50 mg in January 2009 and she had me start metformin too (although my glucose/insulin levels were fine). Had to take clomid days 5-10, and have sex days 6,8, and 10. Then do bloodwork on either days 14 & 21 or 21 & 28... I'm sure I could find the instructions somewhere. BTW, the bloodwork took a week for the results to come in! BFN.
The doctor had me wait to see if my cycle would start. It didn't and on day 63 since the last cycle I finally had another appointment with the doctor. She decided to put me on provera to get my cycle started and then do another cycle of clomid at 100 mg.
Right before I started the clomid we moved in with my FIL to save money for a house and to help him with being laid off.
So we had to do this 2nd round at his house. Interesting, to say the least. The 2nd round was postponed because my period from that round of provera ended up lasting longer than expected (at least 2 weeks). And then I was on one month of BC. So the 2nd round of clomid was in April 2009. BFN again.
Due to stress at home (living with the FIL, Hubs getting laid off, getting ready to go back to school, etc) I talked to Dr. S. and decided to put off treatments for a while. She had recommended from the beginning to lose weight and suggested I try again. I didn't think it would make a difference because, even though I had gained a lot since high school, I wasn't "normal" in high school either.
Sadly... Life got crazy and this was the extent of our fertility treatments... Another post to come to follow up on the next few years.
~Shannon
Monday, January 2, 2012
Welcome to 2012!!!
We are at the start of a new year.
New beginnings.
New hopes.
Encouraged that this will be our year!
I really do hope that. I want us all to have our dreams fulfilled, especially now!
I did not make resolutions for this year. Last year was such a let down. I want to enjoy this year without being let down by the end of the year.
So.
This year will be awesome! I am open to great things happening that I have not accounted for or planned on.
I hope you have a GREAT 2012!!!
~Shannon
New beginnings.
New hopes.
Encouraged that this will be our year!
I really do hope that. I want us all to have our dreams fulfilled, especially now!
I did not make resolutions for this year. Last year was such a let down. I want to enjoy this year without being let down by the end of the year.
So.
This year will be awesome! I am open to great things happening that I have not accounted for or planned on.
I hope you have a GREAT 2012!!!
~Shannon
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Mrs Red's quest with crappy doctors... And a few good ones
I finally went to a doctor after trying for 6 months, given my history they did an ultrasound to confirm pcos and then gave me 3 rounds of clomid, then said "ur too fat, lose weight and come back" that pissed me off so I switched doctors. Now first lemme explain their way of administering clomid... They gave me provera to start the cycle, metformin for the pcos, said call on day 1 to schedule a 21 day progeaterone check, take clomid on days 5-10 and then have "relations" on days 9-16, also said to do a home ovulation kit, which btw are impossible to tell when u have a surge... Then I would go in on day 21 to get blood drawn and sometime about a week later they would call and say "nope u didn't ovulate, wait a week for your period to start and then take provera if it doesn't and call again when your period starts, oan btw, increase your dose" I would ask if I needed to go in to see the doctor and they we're always like no no just follow the instructions. I insisted on leaving a message for the doctor because metformin made me incredibly sick to my stomach, I constantly had the runs (tmi I know) and would throw up, so he said try next month without it. This went on for 2 more cycles and then he gave up.
The next doctor was a dufus and I knew more than him. When I say Dufus, the guy didn't know when the 21 day check was supposed to be done and then he never put my labs in until I was there to get my blood drawn even tho I called... So after 2 rounds of clomid with him I switched doctors again.
The next doctor I went to I explained my history with the other 2 doctors and first he said he doesn't blame weight for my problems because girls MUCH bigger than me have babies all the time (thank you) but he said that since we already did a few rounds of clomid without success that he has seen where a 10% drop in weight sometimes will help people ovulate. So he put me on phentermine for 3 months. I had been trying weight watchers and that plateaued at 15lbs with exercise! So I tried the drugs, weight came off fast and we tried clomid again. This doctor was a little more diligent but still wasn't as thorough as I read online that doctors should be with clomid. Then after 5 rounds he said I'm done go to an RE...
The one thing he said he would do was my HSG test. Which hurt like hell and I cramped for days but showed my Tubes were open.
We think it was after this test that I got pregnant for the first time end of Sept 2009. :-) I didn't know until I was losing the baby...
So we took some time off for the holidays...
Now this is where I'm kicking myself because 1st of all my insurance had JUST switched over and no longer covered infertility... Great... So I wet to another practice. The reason is because I wanted the ovarian drilling and cyst removal thingy and that doctor said nope there was no way he would do that surgery. So I found one who would. Because my insurance would cover that surgery but nothing else. So I got the surgery in march of 2010. After the surgery we tried to see if we could get pregnant naturally. Didn't happen. So we finally decided to go to a specialist in November.
The RE was the best doctor I've had and I'll go into all the iui's and my surgery in another blog. They are really good people and don't deserve to be in my post on crappy doctors lol. In fact the gyn before them was a good doctor too... Clomid, iui treatments, HSG, miscarriage, 2 surgeries are all posts for another day... :-)
The next doctor was a dufus and I knew more than him. When I say Dufus, the guy didn't know when the 21 day check was supposed to be done and then he never put my labs in until I was there to get my blood drawn even tho I called... So after 2 rounds of clomid with him I switched doctors again.
The next doctor I went to I explained my history with the other 2 doctors and first he said he doesn't blame weight for my problems because girls MUCH bigger than me have babies all the time (thank you) but he said that since we already did a few rounds of clomid without success that he has seen where a 10% drop in weight sometimes will help people ovulate. So he put me on phentermine for 3 months. I had been trying weight watchers and that plateaued at 15lbs with exercise! So I tried the drugs, weight came off fast and we tried clomid again. This doctor was a little more diligent but still wasn't as thorough as I read online that doctors should be with clomid. Then after 5 rounds he said I'm done go to an RE...
The one thing he said he would do was my HSG test. Which hurt like hell and I cramped for days but showed my Tubes were open.
We think it was after this test that I got pregnant for the first time end of Sept 2009. :-) I didn't know until I was losing the baby...
So we took some time off for the holidays...
Now this is where I'm kicking myself because 1st of all my insurance had JUST switched over and no longer covered infertility... Great... So I wet to another practice. The reason is because I wanted the ovarian drilling and cyst removal thingy and that doctor said nope there was no way he would do that surgery. So I found one who would. Because my insurance would cover that surgery but nothing else. So I got the surgery in march of 2010. After the surgery we tried to see if we could get pregnant naturally. Didn't happen. So we finally decided to go to a specialist in November.
The RE was the best doctor I've had and I'll go into all the iui's and my surgery in another blog. They are really good people and don't deserve to be in my post on crappy doctors lol. In fact the gyn before them was a good doctor too... Clomid, iui treatments, HSG, miscarriage, 2 surgeries are all posts for another day... :-)
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