Playing Catch-Up

I owe many posts updating about my fertility treatments since AUGUST.

Amazing how time flies between two jobs and holidays and fertility treatments. But I have a new laptop now and will be able to keep up more often. So, this isn't quite an update, but a heads up that I will update, LOL!

I'm not pregnant after the fertility treatments this fall.

Molly, previous author, had her baby on her birthday, November 30th. A little boy named Jonah.

If you are interested in being a guest, part-time, or full-time writer please fill out the form above or send an email to shannonw@fighting4fertility.org.in . I am getting emails now so I should be able to respond much quicker than every 2 months!

Now, to work on my updates...

Wonder Wednesday: how to act when trying to become pregnant

Reader question: hey gals, when ttc, do you act any different or just continue your lifestyle until you get a positive?

Short answer: when trying to get pregnant, act pregnant from the moment Aunt Flo leaves til she comes back!

Long answer: you never know when you will get pregnant. Would you want to risk losing a baby because you went on a weekend bender with the girlfriends? The general rule of thumb that any "get pregnant" book will tell you is that if you are trying to get pregnant, cut out all anti baby things out of your lifestyle. That means if you are a chronic caffeine addict, cut it out. Caffeine can actually lower your chances of getting pregnant. Caffeine is really a drug. An evil addictive drug! Not good for your body when over consumed so if you must have that latte, make it ONE medium coffee a day and work on cutting that out since you really shouldn't consume caffeine pregnant. There are studies that it causes ADHD or something. Then everyone knows you shouldn't consume alcohol pregnant so that should be cut out as well. Alcohol has been linked to birth defects and birth defects could be fatal to babies. What if you get pregnant and you drank to much alcohol and it caused a birth defect? The first 4 weeks the neural tube forms. This is the most common birth defect associated with alcohol. If you don't have a strong baby then it could cause a miscarriage or preterm labor. Neural tube defects could cause either of those things to happen. So don't do it! 

Other things you want to avoid are lifting too much weight or crazy death defying stunts that you wouldn't do pregnant. Now for crazy things I want to do I try to schedule them when AF is in town or shortly after.  Same pretty much with drinking away sorrows of another month gone by. 

I am always optimistic that "this will be the month" so yes I cut all caffeine out of my diet at one point and pretty much don't really consume alcohol almost ever. Just in case. 

About the Author: Sheila

Name: Sheila
Age: 24
Date of Birth: July 13, 1989
Nationality/Heritage:  American (portion Native American and British)
City/State/Country: Stoutsville, OH USA
Occupation: Part Owner @ Tara's Country Home Candles
Kid's Names and Ages: none
TTC Since: October 2008
Infertility Diagnosis: PCOS -2013 (getting a second opinion)
Spouse: Shawn, 26
Married: August 23, 2008
Religion: Christian
Tattoos & Piercings: Ears
5 Things I Love: God, My hubby duh, ice cream, fall (I think being in marching band in high school made me partial, lol), coke (caffeine is a huge weakness for me :( ), I will do two more, since the first two may not count lol: purple, hoodies in fall/winter and flip-flops in spring/summer
Favorite Books: The Bible, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Hatchet, The Shack, Battle Royale, Any V.C. Andrews book, Beowulf, Macbeth, To Kill a Mockingbird, Frankenstein, Pilgrims Progress, Wicked and much more
Favorite Movies: Shrek, Harry Potter, The Notebook, Grease, Avatar, Fox and the Hound, Lion King, Elf, E.T. and much more
Favorite Shows: Duck Dynasty, Big Bang Theory, Who Dunnit, Once Upon a Time, Star Trek (I'm a nerd :D), Boy Meets World, other than these I don't watch much TV
Favorite Music: Pretty much any praise and worship, Casting Crowns is my favorite. Also like Misty Edwards, Jesus Culture, Hillsong, BarlowGirl, Tenth Avenue North, etc. Also like Christian Rock such as Disciple, Demon Hunter, TFK, Skillet, Etc. Also love 80s music and some country as well.
Favorite Food: Anything spicy!
Six Things I Could Now Live Without: God, my husband.... seriously couldn't, my phone, my hair brush or hair ties, family and friends, flip-flops and hoodies according to the season, lol
I'm Really Good At: I am actually a very good writer when I sit down to seriously write (or at least that's what I have been told by many people). Other than that, not much talent, haha. My DH has all the talent, lol
I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About: When and if I will ever be a mommy... Other than that, it depends. I think a lot, my mind goes non stop. It is actually quite ridiculous, lol
On My Free Time I: Well, I love Pinterest (especially new recipes and things to make for gifts) and Facebook. I also love to read. I write on occasion as well. I love spending time with family and friends.  
A Secret About Me: Well it's not much of a secret, but my mom died when I was 15 and my dad died February 2013. I try not to think about it and not to get all "woe is me", but when I do think about it I get mad because I feel I am way too young to have lost both of my parents. However, I know there are people out there that have it much worse than I do, so I try not to let it get to me.
If Money Were No Object & I Could Do What I Wanted for 1 Week I Would: Oh my gosh. I have no idea. I would like to say go vacation somewhere. I would rather buy a really nice house if money weren't an object. However I don't know if that lines up to the one week part, lol.
What I Talk About On The Blog: Diagnosis, second opinions, Emotions, Hope, etc
Blog Position: Facebook Poster, Pinterest Poster, Author
Contact Info:
Email: slimflutie@gmail.com; slimflutie@yahoo.com; sheilah@fighting4fertility.org.in
Pinterest: Sheila Hill; Waiting Mothers

Fertility Awareness Video

This hit so many parts of my life.
~Shannon

About the Author: Mrs Red

I

Name: Steph
Age: 30
Date of Birth: February
Nationality/Heritage:  Mexican, Japanese, Irish/American
City/State/Country: San Antonio, TX USA
Occupation: Lead Software Analyst
Kid's Names and Ages: Sophie, born January
TTC Since: November 2006
Infertility Diagnosis: 2003 - PCOS
Spouse: Mr T
Married:  2006
Religion: Christian
Tattoos & Piercings: Ears
5 Things I Love: Fishing, biking, sewing, painting, camping
Favorite Books: Hunger Games series, Fahrenheit 451, 1985, Heartsick series
Favorite Movies: Forrest Gump, Couples Retreat, Hunger Games, Yes Man, I Love You Man
Favorite Shows: Grey's Anatomy, Bones, CSI, Good Wife, Walking Dead
Favorite Music: Christian music, Oldies
Favorite Food: Southern comfort food, pasta, sushi
Six Things I Could Now Live Without: My bible, my husband, my miracle baby, a bed, my water bottle, some comfy shoes
I'm Really Good At: I don't know if I'm really good at anything... I guess I'm a decent baker
I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About: The future
On My Free Time I: Like to craft things and play with my miracle baby
A Secret About Me: I secretly LOVE the high school drama Degrassi...
If Money Were No Object & I Could Do What I Wanted for 1 Week I Would: Not work! LOL and spend it with my family on a beach somewhere
What I Talk About On The Blog: IVF, PCOS, juicing, success story, etc
Blog Position: Founder, Author, Designer, Facebook poster
Contact Info:
Email: stephaniet@fighting4fertility.org.in

About the Author: Jessica

Name: Jessica
Age: 25
Date of Birth: December 28, 1987
Nationality/Heritage:  German, Irish, Native American.
City/State/Country: Leavenworth, USA
Occupation: Human Resources
Kid's Names and Ages: None
TTC Since: September 2009
Infertility Diagnosis: May 2010 - PCOS
Spouse: Daniel, 26
Married: December 29th, 2007
Religion: Methodist
Tattoos & Piercings: 1 tattoo on my shoulder, ears are pierced twice
5 Things I Love: Sunday family dinners, walking around the farm, playing with my dogs, when the baby calves start to be born, and Starbucks
Favorite Books: Anything Jodi Piccoult and western romances
Favorite Movies: White Christmas, Holiday Inn, Casablanca, Harry Potter, and 7 Brides for 7 Brothers
Favorite Shows: Grey's Anatomy, Dance Moms, Pretty Wicked Moms, Good Eats, Sister Wives, Top Shot, Ducky Dynasty, and American Dad
Favorite Music: Anything country and red dirt except Taylor Swift
Favorite Food: Potato chips
Six Things I Could Now Live Without: My family, my dogs, iPhone, coffee, peanut butter, and my heating pad
I'm Really Good At: Firefighting and cake decorating
I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About: Babies and how to fix and expand the farm
On My Free Time I:Volunteer as a firefighter, read, watch tv, and Pinterest
A Secret About Me: I let my dog cuddle with me when my husband isn't in the bed
If Money Were No Object & I Could Do What I Wanted for 1 Week I Would: Buy stuff for the farm, prepay for fertility treatments
What I Talk About On The Blog: Naturally controlling PCOS, past fertility treatments, the possibility of future fertility treatments
Blog Position: Author, Twitter poster, Facebook poster
Contact Info:
Email: jessicad@fighting4fertility.org.in

About the Author: Shannon

Name: Shannon Ivy
Age: 27
Born: August 13th
Nationality/Heritage: Czech/Polish & European Mix
City/State/Country: Arlington, TX USA
Occupation: Certified Nurse Aide
Kid's Names and Ages: None
TTC Since: April 2008
Infertility Diagnosis: August 2008 - PCOS
Spouse: Jeff, 27
Religion: Me-Wiccan, DH-Christian
Tattoos & Piercings: 2 piercings in each ear, L ear has a cartilage piercing; 5 tattoos: celtic butterfly on R ankle, Shooting star with a quote on R back shoulder, 3 four-leaf clovers on L back shoulder (2 tattoos in 1), and a "Hope" tattoo on my wrist with the "o" being a teal heart for PCOS
5 Things I Love: Family, friends, cooking, crafts of all sorts, animals (esp. babies!)
Favorite Books: Almost any romance, mystery, paranormal... To name a few: Discovery of Witches, Harry Potter, Twilight, The Mortal Instruments, Beautiful Creatures, Creating a Life memoir, The Highlander, Mary Higgins Clark books, etc...
Favorite Movies: A TON: Harry Potter, Sweet Home Alabama, Burlesque, Marvel comics, Disney movies, comedy... Anything but scary movies
Favorite Shows: Big Bang Theory, Family Guy, Guiliana and Bill, Love it or List it, DIY & Home improvement shows, 2 Broke Girls, How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, and more
Favorite Music: Country, Pop, Current hits, Some Rap (Eminem)
Favorite Food: Ice cream. Spaghetti, stuffed bell peppers, stuffed cabbage, sweet and sour pork, fried rice, and soooo much more.
Six Things I Could Now Live Without: My husband, my phone, my kindle, toothbrush and toothpaste, underwear, jeans
I'm Really Good At: crafts, reading, typing, being empathetic
I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About: The book I just finished reading, whatever book it is; a slew of other things
On My Free Time I: catch up on DVR shows and do crafty things like sewing and quilting
A Secret About Me: I wonder if I will be able to adjust to having kids, when that day comes
If Money Were No Object & I Could Do What I Wanted for 1 Week I Would: Pay off all debts, buy a house and vehicles my husband actually loves, buy a nice, long vacation to travel the world.
What I Talk About On The Blog: Current procedures I am undergoing, PCOS, and emotions (plus others)
Blog Position: Founder, Author, Designer, Facebook Poster
Contact Info:
Email: shannonw@fighting4fertility.org.in
Myfitnesspal: sivywright
Weight Blog: http://shannonsweightstory.blogspot.com/

Today is the Day

So, today is the day I go see Dr. Luck.

I'm excited... and very nervous.

I am always worried that my condition will be worse or that I will get bad news. With infertility there is so much "bad" already that it is hard to think of any positives.

But, I did my research on my doctor and on the facility. They are closer to my last and I am still hoping that their pricing is reasonable (that wasn't included on the website).

I'm also excited that she might help me to get my period to STOP. I've been having bleeding (anything from spotting to light to medium) since June 26th and am SOO tired of having to always be prepared when I go to the bathroom. And I miss my husband, if you know what I mean ;)

I can already hear some of what the doctor will say: "your weight is too high" "if you lose weight your cycles should start to normalize" etc. I know I have a weight issue.

My high was in 2009 and I weighed in at 245. Earlier that year we had done 2 cycles of clomid. Then in the spring we moved into my FIL's house while we worked on our credit to get our own. In the summer I registered for a fall class at the local community college (only Yoga, as a way to get back into the swing of classes). That summer I also started to take some Japanese diet pills that my SIL had wonderful success with. The first month I lost 10 lbs. The second month I lost another 10 lbs. I was so excited! I continued to lose 10 lbs per month for the next 2 months. So in 4 months I had lost 40 lbs. And I stalled in the progress. We moved into our house in November with some issues. January I went to see my OBGYN and while there she prescribed a diet pill. Within the next couple months I lost another 25 lbs. I had gotten down to 180 and, as much as I wanted to be at 160, I was very happy. Kept it off for a year. Then had some really hard science classes with late night studying and lots of stress. BAM 30 lbs in 2 lbs back on. Once that dam broke it ALL came back. Now I am sitting at around 245/250.  (see more in my weight blog)

It's hard.

So, as excited as I am about the appointment, I am very nervous and any ridicule I will receive while there. I am hopeful that they understand the weight can be VERY hard to lose for PCOS peeps.

I will keep you all updated :o)

Farewell Post

Hey everyone!

This is my farewell post…I’m sad to be “retiring” as an author but I will be back to make some guest posts once the baby comes.

As most of you know, in April we found out that we were expecting and it was a complete shock. My sister had just lost her baby and we were all so stressed out and my husband and I had only DTD ONE time that cycle. I never expected to fall pregnant that month. I really think it happened because of God and the fact that the month before I had the HSG done to check my tubes for any blockages and I think it just cleared out my tubes. I am so grateful for the blessings that have come to us over the past 5 months. We’ve also just moved and are trying to get settled in before December! We find out on July 31^st if it is a boy or a girl and I will be very content either way.

I pray for all of you ladies everyday and I know that it is only a matter of time until you all become THE GREATEST mommies. I know there’s nothing I can say to really help because I’ve totally been there. I wish you call the best of luck and please know that you can always find me on Facebook and message me ANYTIME you’d like/need to talk to someone.

Hugs and Love to all of you strong, beautiful women!

Molly

Authors Wanted!!

We are looking for several talented authors to join our blog!

We are interested in male, female, all different types of diagnoses, full-time author's and guest author's.

We need yal!

Click to Apply!

Visit the link below and fill out the form to tell us about yourself!

Click here! Click here! Click here!

Can't wait to hear from all of you!! Spread the word if you know others that would like to write too!

Want to Join our Authors??? Apply Below!

Dr. Luck = Lucky???

Hi guys!

I know the blog has been kinda lacking on posts lately. Sometimes it is hard to try a new topic to write about, especially when you aren't going through treatments.

But...

I hope to start actively trying soon! I have an appointment early August with Dr. Luck (Mansfield, Texas). I picked her for her credentials and also hoping that she will be my lucky charm :o)

Other than that, not much to report.  We will be making some changes with blog design and hopefully adding some more authors!!! Keep an eye out for an application form!

In June a family member announced her pregnancy. Unfortunately she miscarried shortly after. Today I just found out that the mother of my Goddaughter is pregnant again!

Hope are you guys doing???

~Shannon

Special Guest Saturday: Candi

Sometimes love just isn't enough....

They say it is better to have loved and lost to never have loved at all.  I’m guessing whoever "they" is that thought they were so clever to say this never dealt with infertility or the loss that occurs when you lose a child.  I suppose that person has never gone from a place of extreme happiness to an all-time low.  And I suppose that person has never had to tell your husband who you have been ttc with for 12 years that you just experienced a chemical pregnancy aka miscarriage.  Some say it may be better to have loved and lost, but I disagree.  

We lost so much in that 5 minute phone call that we’ll never get back.  I never got to know what it feels like to feel our child(ren) grow inside me.  We never got to hear a heartbeat or wonder if we should buy pink or blue.  We never got to hold our child for the first time and count all their fingers and toes, wipe their tears, kiss their sweet head.  We never got to see a first step, hear a first word, bandage a boo-boo, mend a broken heart from their first love, celebrate a birthday or Christmas, shop for the prom, buy a first car, teach right from wrong, be proud at graduation, walk her down the aisle at her wedding or calm his nervous when he says he’s ready to propose.  We never got to see them rejoice when they purchase their first house or tell us they are pregnant and we will be grandparents.  We lost so much before we even had a chance to show our love.

We had only just found out we were pregnant 2 days prior but I already loved that baby with my whole heart and would have done anything to protect them.  We wanted that pregnancy more than anything in the world.  Our dreams were finally coming true and our prayers were answered.  I fell so deep in love with my baby(ies) the moment I heard “you’re pregnant” from my re’s office that my heart shattered in a million pieces when I was told it was over.  “This is some cruel joke” I remember saying.  2 months later and my heart still hurts from the loss.  After 12 years of ttc I had come to terms that I was part of the statistic of Infertility; part of the 7.3 million suffering daily.  I thought we had overcome infertility when we received our positive news.  I don’t know how to come to terms nor do I want to with the statistic of being part of the 20% of pregnancies that end in a miscarriage. Or become part of a group that has lost a baby to a chemical pregnancy which is so common almost 60% of first pregnancies that end like this.  We may never know the reason why our baby didn't survive.  I guess sometimes love just isn't enough to hold on to your miracle, no matter how much you try.   

All I have ever wanted was to be a mom; to have someone love me and depend on me; to give my husband a family.  It is an awful feeling when you find out that you can’t make your dreams a reality or when your reality is broken.  We have traveled the infertility road so long that I never thought there was anything that could hurt more.  Boy was I wrong!  We are now part of the group that has fought, won, loved and lost our miracle.  This pain hurts every day even when I try to push it away.  Just because I smile doesn’t mean I don’t ache.  Just because I laugh doesn’t mean I’m not crying inside.  Just because I love doesn’t mean my heart isn’t still broken.  We should be 3 months along right now.  Embracing all the changes, dealing with morning sickness, sneaking purchases of baby items when we still don’t know the sex(es).  I should be aggravating my husband with my cravings and needs.  However instead of everything we looked forward to, we are learning to survive and move on. 

We are currently on a break after this loss and another failed IUI.  We need some time for us and to prepare for another try.  We’ll try again one more time down the road because we don’t feel our time is done. I share all this with you not for you to feel sad or sorry for us, Lord knows I do that enough as it is, but to just keep the good thoughts, prayers and baby dust flowing our direction.  If you’re a mom or dad, hold your little one a bit tighter and be thankful for what you have.  Never take it for granted.  Love your miracles unconditionally because I know a group of at least 1,400 people out here suffering with infertility that would give it all to have that miracle. 

~*~*~I'm praying daily for every empty arm and broken heart.  ~*~*~

To follow Candi on her journey, please subscribe to her blog at

http://mylifedealingwithinfertility.blogspot.com/?m=1

Announcing the June 2013 Giveaway!!!

We have new giveaway starting now! It will run until June 30, 2013 at 11:59PM Central.

The goal: to get 300 likes on our Facebook page before the giveaway expires.

The prize:

How to enter?? Visit the page at the top labeled "June 2013 Giveaway" and fill out the entry form!

If we reach 300 likes, one lucky entrant will be randomly selected to receive this beautiful necklace!

Want to increase your odds???? Make sure to like us on Facebook and follow the blog!

Guest post: Cherish's Journey

DH and I meet at work while in our 30’s. We dated a year, were engaged for a year, and we waited a year to start TTC. When I was 34 we started TTC. My OBGYN said it could take a few months to a year. Well, we got lucky on the first try. That October we got our ANGEL!!! DS is now 6! Well, we decided to TTC for the 2nd kiddo when DS was about 3. I went in to my Wonderful OBGYN and said “Want a little girl born in the spring!” She laughed. I was confused and SERIOUS when I said; we got a boy born in the fall. What’s the problem? Well after a couple rounds of Clomid, she sent me to HER RE. I did some research and Dr. Chantilis is one of the BEST in Texas. His staff is SO nice! I was in love with him! Our first appointment was very promising. He did some tests, did a sono and told us that he would have us pregnant in a matter of months. He would be surprised if it would take more than 3. Wellllllllll. We did Clomid and trigger shots and NOTHING happened. He did more blood work. He had already diagnosed me with PCOS. The tests came back NOT good. He said we might not be able to get pregnant and might consider using an egg donor. I told him he was crazy. We tried some other medicines and then he ran more tests. I don’t remember the details or the Medical jargon but the tests were I had Pre-Ovarian Failure. My results were extremely high. One was Off the chart. Seriously were NOT even Registering! I was BROKEN!! The problem was ALL ME! I curled up for 2 days and cried. DH was so supportive. My sister was visiting and she and DH took care of me and DS. A few weeks later we decided to go the egg donor route. So we decided on one!! She was awesome!! THEN someone we knew had a pregnant friend come to her considering putting her babies (that’s right, twins. Boy and Girl TWINS!) up for adoption. We put the egg donor on hold. Plus it was around Thanksgiving and the holidays were hard enough as it was. Well, she kept the babies and then our egg donor got pregnant. We were back to square one. We found another egg donor and proceeded! March was the Time! The egg donor did GREAT. We ended up with THREE embryos. We transferred 2 and got pregnant. I was Pregnant on my 40th Birthday! I was SO HAPPY!!!! THEN on week 6, I had a miscarriage. We lost the baby. I was heartbroken. We still had one viable embryo. We had nothing to lose. That didn’t take. We had to take out a HUGE loan (that we are still paying on) and no baby. If I EVER have to pee on another stick I will probably go Postal! The heartbreak EACH time of seeing the negative result, the years of trying and not getting pregnant and the loss of the baby I only had for a few weeks is was the hardest thing I have ever lived thru. THEN we fell in love with a little baby boy............................. A WHOLE new roller coaster ride in a different park! ADOPTION!!

Fertile/Infertile Fridays: A whole list of randomness

            Okay, to those who saw my emotional breakdown last night over yet ANOTHER pregnancy announcement, I am truly sorry. Some days or nights it gets to me more than others, last night was one of those nights. Perhaps its because she has had 3 different boyfriends in the last six months. Or perhaps its because I'm super hormonal and emotional...which brings me to my next topic.
            So I'm somewhat thinking since I decided to take this month off of the BC since I got it so late, I think even going off it for this month may have screwed up regulating my cycles already. The last couple months while I was on it, my periods ranged from 28 to 30 days. Although maybe its too soon to tell. Its only CD 32 so no need to freak out about I guess. Theres a very very very very very slimmer of hope that I have that this time could me that magical month...but...realistically I know not to think that. I'm just so worried about messing this all up (regulating my cycles) when I don't even want be on birth control in the first place. Maybe since my emotions are so out of whack its means AF will be here soon. Idk. I am really thinking about telling the doctor I don't want to do the BC anyways, but Im not sure. On one hand I feel like its pointless, on the other hand I see his point on wanting to try and regulate my cycles. Hopefully if I do the juicing like Steph suggested in the previous blog (Thanks Steph!), then maybe I will be able to at least get somewhere. That's another thing, this dieting and exercising has gone absolutely nowhere for me, in fact I'm GAINING weight. Ugh, so needless to say I think I need to try a different approach. So, I am really thankful for Steph's advice and suggestions. Thanks so much!
           Okay, so maybe this next topic will make some people angry and I'm really sorry if it does. However, I am so sick of not knowing what I want to do with my life, its probably so stupid and retarded that I have been ttc for so long way before I even knew what I want to do like career wise. I have tried to do like career aptitude tests and things like that. I still have no clue. People ask me what I have always pictured myself doing and other than being a mother I have no idea. Being a stay at home mom is out of the question though whenever I am able to have children. So hopefully I will figure all this out soon. I just feel like my life is so ridiculously out of place and I don't feel like I know how to get control of it. I keep praying for God to direct my path. I hope I figure out what to do soon though. I feel at a loss as of right now. It makes me feel so unsuccessful and like I have nothing to show for myself and that I'm lazy or something. It's not that I don't want to do anything with my life, I'm just scared to go to college and have debts of student loans and not even finish school because I change my mind or something.  Has anyone else battled this? What did you do to solve it? I need some help lol.

Oh one other topic really quick, is it weird for me to not want to talk to my husband about my emotions through this infertility/PCOS journey? Its not that I'm concerned about his feelings. Its just, I don't feel he understands and I just annoy him with my emotions about it. I'm conflicted about whether to tell him how I feel when I am hurting. Yes I do long for his support, however I just know how he is, and I just really think I would get on his nerves which would make the situation worse for both of us.
Oh I lied, one more topic. I am SOOO not ready for next month. I wish I could skip the whole freaking month all together. Number one: the dreaded mothers day (my heart sank just typing that). Number two: I am invited to like 3 baby showers as of right now for May. Number 3: May 21st marks 8 years since my mother has passed away. She passed away when I was 15.As several of you know, my father passed away in late February this year as well. I hate how doom and gloom I can be, and I am sooo sorry to vent about it. It's just hard. I'm now parentless and childish and not even that close to 30. Oh well, things could be worse. I know God has a plan, I just wish I knew how to control my emotions better. Oh June is a stupid month too now that I think about it. I lost my niece 7 years ago this June (my poor sister, idk how she did it, losing her mother and daughter within 12 months and 2weeks of each other. She is a strong woman indeed), and of course fathers day is in June, and the birthday of mine and my husbands best friend/brother in law that we lost in December of 11 to a drunk driver. So yeah May and June...not looking forward to those. Can't we just skip to July? lol I'm jk. Okay for real, I am so sorry for that Debbie Downer moment just there. I probably look like the most depressed person ever, but I promise I'm not.
Well I'm off to get ready to have a night out with one of my best friends. After I night like last night, I really need it. I hope everything is going well for everyone else. Have a great weekend everyone!-Sheila

Ashley's Update

Hey everyone, I'm so sorry I've been so out of touch.  Life has been very busy with the boys and going back to work.  However, even though I haven't been posting doesn't mean I'm not reading or thinking about you all.  As dates went by in February, March and now April, it brings me back to the huge milestones in the past 3 years, especially last year going through IVF.  I think another reason I've backed off (besides not having much time) is I remember like it was yesterday how I felt about hearing about others who had babies and I didn't.  So I know there is nothing I can say or do to make each of your situations better.  All I can try to do is give you hope and advice if you want it.  I don't want to rub it in anyone's face that I got pregnant and have two babies.  I just want to support everyone and help as I'm needed.  I know I'll always have bitter feelings towards those who take getting pregnant for granted, however it's a hard place to be in because I'm not in the same position as I was before I got pregnant.  For the first time in over 3 years I feel happy, complete and back to my old self.  I told my husband a few weeks ago - I never, ever want to feel that way again.  Meaning those two LONG years of active treatments every months with multiple doctors visits monthly, were by far the worst years of my life.  But it was truly worth every single tear and angry moment I went through.  I am here for you all, praying every moment.

I am also sad to say my very best friend who's wedding I didn't get to stand up in, in August because I was put on bed rest two days before, was diagnosed with PCOS in January.  She is still in the early stages of all the works, but it just brings back all of my bad memories that I hope she doesn't have to go through.

Bless you all and baby dust 2013 is the year :) 

Wonder Wednesday: weight loss with PCOS

Exercising sucks because its better to do with a friend but when your friend loses a ton of weight and you only manage to lose water weight and/or gain weight, it sucks. Then diets don't work... What's a girl to do?! When I first went to an Obgyn for pcos he prescribed me weight loss pills, I think it was fenedrin? Something like that. Those worked! But as soon as I stopped taking them the weight would just pile on fast. Also, you can't try to get pregnant taking it, oh and it messes with your heart. So I don't recommend that.
Next I tried weight watchers. That worked for a little while but I couldn't get past 12 lbs! Grrr... Even adding exercise, it never really worked for me. Not to toot my own horn but for my size I'm in pretty decent cardio health and flexible. I can drop it like its hot and get back up with no prob lol. But I'm a big girl. People forget that I can run, bike, and walk for long periods of time. So obviously exercising doesn't really work that well for weight loss for me. Although running works the best for me.
A little over a year ago my hubby and I saw a documentary called fat sick and nearly dead. It was about a guy who was sick of taking medicines to mask his ailments. He went to basics of fruits and veggies to see if they could heal him. After that documentary I was curious about seeing if it would help my pcos. We researched a lot and decided to start juicing. We would make a morning juice for breakfast to get used to it. Then we bought an actual juicer and started a juice fast. We would have a juice for breakfast, morning snack, lunch, and afternoon snack. For dinner we would have organic non GMO healthy meal and focused on whole grains. Within 2 weeks my period started. I thought it was a fluke and carried on... 28 days later, it came again... This happened December, January, February, March, and April. I was also taking Maca supplement in conjunction with juicing. We used a book by Elaine LaLaine called Total Juicing for recipes or just inspiration for juices. We juiced mainly parsley, kale, collard greens and spinach, along with good fruits. I lost weight during this time but did not keep track of how much. If I had to guess it was around 25 lbs. I wasn't exercising at all even though I probably should have been. It was amazing how much energy I had and my skin started to clear up. I tracked one month and didn't ovulate but it regulated my period so I'm thinking it may have started to work if I had given it more time but we were at our year mark to do ivf and so I went in and did that. I really think that those months of juicing prepared my body for the ivf and it took! Would it have worked without the juicing? Maybe but I'll never know.
I'll share some of my juicing recipes on this blog when I find my recipe book that I scribbled "winners" in.

Mrs Red

In shock...

Hey everyone! I haven written in a while because we've kind of been on a break from ttc because we had plans to see our fertility specialist next week. In the past month I've lost my nephew, started a new full time job and been completely busy. I woke up this morning and felt so off. I took THREE wondfo hpts and each one of them looked like they may have had a line but I wasn't sure if it was real or an evap line. I took TWO clear blue digitals and they both came up as POSITIVE! I freaked out and called the doctor and went in for blood work and they confirmed that I'm pregnant! I'm entering into my 5th week and I just can't believe it. God is so good. I will continue to support all of you and will pray for each and every one of you!!

Guest Post: "Honey"

When my daughter was 5 I met the man of my dreams, a single father of two. I became a mom of three overnight practically and I couldn’t have been more thrilled. We also started trying at the beginning of our relationship we knew that we found our true match so why wait for the picket fence or the matching wedding bands when we had both already had that and it didn’t work out. We got pregnant luckily right away, but sadly it ended in yet another loss in august of 2009. I have not gotten a positive test since then. Due to this roller coaster we have taken breaks when we reach our breaking point of disappointment.

I am 10dpo and feeling defeated already, mostly because this has been the case off and on for the last 4+ years. I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 21 years old, I got married at 19 fresh faced and full of ideas of a white picket fence and at least four kids running around the yard. We started trying right away and it took almost the full two years to conceive her, the very cycle I got pregnant with her was to be my first cycle of clomid but AF never came and luckily 8 months  3 weeks later I had a healthy 6lb 2oz baby girl. We tried almost immediately for another child knowing it would probably take another couple years to conceive. Several losses later my marriage ended when my daughter was 15 months old, and my ex-husbands girlfriend was pregnant.

We are starting fresh yet again on cd 24,10dpo and I have I admit been willienillie about testing. I, like I am sure so many of us developed the all too common preggochondria “symptoms” at 6dpo convinced that we had conceived this is it I just “know” it. So I started testing at 8dpo,9dpo, and again this morning at 10dpo. All stark white negatives of course, with the taking of each new test your breath catches and then when its negative you think “why on earth do you keep doing this to yourself ?” With the ablity to bring joy or sorrow they are fickle little buggars. Good thing that was my last test and I have decided this cycle to order tests online now so they take a few days to get to me and I don’t have tests lying around taunting me, asking me to pee on them.

The thing is, no matter how many times a test or cycle defeats me for a short time, the time leading up to it where every twinge or pinch might be the symptom that leads to the positive test that will lead to another great blessing and joyous addition to our lives is what makes me get up dust myself off and say I can do this again. As cliché as it sounds and as frustrating as it is to hear from doctors and almost everyone that has ever gotten pregnant the first time they tried, “it only takes once.” This gives me hope, that not just me but everyone that can relate to my story can someday hold their baby in their arms. The joy of that keeps me going; hopefully sharing my story keeps you going as well, just for the joy of it.

Baby dust to all

~“honey”