Nine Years

I have thought of writing this post in several different ways. But after nine years of treatment, it doesn't feel like there is much more to say. We have come a long way and done a lot in the past nine years.

Nine years ago I was 21 and DH was 22. We lived in a duplex and had his younger brother (16) living with us. We had a 1 year old black lab. Decent jobs (he is still at the same one!) and weren't doing too bad. We decided to try having a baby, even though I'd already been off birth control for a while. And that is how our infertiliity journey started. And, thankfully, he has stuck by my side the entire time.

In the last 9 years we have done 2 HSGs, 11 rounds of clomid with timed intercourse, 1 ovarian drilling surgical procedure with hysteroscopy, and 2 rounds of IUI with clomid AND injections.

Infertility is such an emotional and heartbreaking journey that there are several years of non-BC breaks throughout the 9 year period.

We considered adoption and after one potential fall through we decided that the emotional toll would be too great for us at this time.

Our next step? IVF.

We had our consult April 10th. Since then I have had an HSG done again (much better than my first experience!) and a sono to check on my ovaries. We have discussed IVF variation options and pricing and have a plan. We are hopeful that this is it and will finally work. All I have to do is lose 18 lbs before CD 35 (if no period) and then we can begin.

But now we are waiting. And I forgot how HORRIBLE the waiting is. You say you'll be fine, you've had to do all sorts of waiting before, but you become obsessed with information and wish the days could go by faster so you could just START. It is difficult to distract yourself because IVF is like a thought bubble in your head that won't pop. You eat, sleep, and DREAM about it. You buy books, make mock-up calendars, and an IVF organizational binder. You luck up IVF and infertility charms and special clothes for ER (egg retrieval) day and transfer day. You join IVF support groups on facebook and it ends up flooding your newsfeed so that is all you see and therefore can't stop thinking about. People ask questions, you gladly tell them because you are excited, and then realize that any positive pregnancy announcement won't be a surprise and that part kinda sucks. May 17th needs to get here soon and these remaining 14 lbs need to disappear ASAP.

I thought after all these years I've learned patience. Apparently not. I even agreed with the doctor that I wouldn't do any HPT before the blood draw after transfer... Yeah, I have a feeling I won't be as strong as I initially thought about that.

This week is NIAW. Seeing the number of friends, family, and people that are dealing with infertility is just overwhelming. It is devastating knowing that so many of us are going through issues with infertility, whether it is at the beginning of the spectrum or the end, it sucks for everyone to have to deal with it for even 1 day. But, you are not alone. You've read some of what I've been through, especially if you have followed this blog for the last.... 5 (?) years. Ask us questions. Find us on our facebook page. I wish you all luck and baby dust.

Shannon

Mrs Red's transfer

The days after my retrieval I took it easy. Did some housework here and there but for the most part I rested. My hubby wanted me to just relax and even offered to do most of the chores, I still helped until I felt nauseous. Everyday I've been waking up at 630 to take my progesterone shot, we decided that early morning would be easiest for us to be consistent with the shots. We've tried midday which I is just really hard to time/remember and then we've tried after work to evening which doesn't work for us either because we never have a consistent schedule and who likes to stop in the middle of spending time with each other/friends/family to take a shot and then answer questions? No, we are always home in the morning and rarely leave the house before 630 so this was the easiest solution.

Monday was transfer day and I had a list of instructions, at 630 took progesterone shot, second to last dose of antibiotic and methylprednisolone (sp?), then a little before 8 I took a shower, changed my estrogen patch (vivelle dot) because it fell off AGAIN! Then at 8 sharp I had to insert a medicine called "endometrim", I didn't know I needed this pill but my doctor gave me samples the day of the retrieval so I wouldn't have to go buy it. After I took it I just laid there for like an hour. Then at 1030 I was told to empty my bladder and immediately drink 24-36 oz of water. I was feeling incredibly nauseous so we went to the store to get me a second bottle of water and crackers. Then off to the clinic! Had to be there at 1130 and got there right on time. After a short wait they took me back to the same procedure room as the retrieval.

The embryologist came in and gave us our full day 3 report, most of my eggs were doing great! I had quite a few bigger than 8-cells but they like to transfer 8-cells so they picked 2 of the 5 8-cells and showed us pictures of them.

One of our 8-cells!

Then she left and I undressed from the bottom down and the sonographer came in and checked my bladder. My ovaries were still HUGE and were pushing my uterus and my bladder so she said she was going to wait to call the doctor so that my bladder could fill more and push my uterus into a better position. It looked all squished.

Then we heard the page for the doctor and he came in with the nurse and the sonographer. He explained that the embryologist would load a syringe with a little solution, an air bubble, the eggs, another air bubble, and some more solution. They would put in a speculum, clean off my cervix, then put in a catheter with a removable center, they would then put in the catheter with the embryos and we would watch the sonogram for the air bubbles since they can't see the embryos. Then they would take out the syringe catheter and check it under a microscope to make sure they stayed inside. Once they get the all clear they would insert the other endometrim tablet and then have the nurse empty my bladder and then I'd lay there for 30 mins.

So everything pretty much went as they described but it was really uncomfortable. They had me sit not with my legs in stirrups but like the child birthing pose.... It was odd... LoL hey hubby was holding one leg and the sonographer held the other.... Irony... Anyway that helped relieve the pressure I was feeling. Then everything else went "normal", we watched them inject them and then we got the all clear the first try, they took out the uterine catheter and gave me one to pee.

Then it was just me and my hubby. We just talked the rest of the time about how with all the technology and whatnot, there's only a 70% chance, and the rest is entirely relying on God. It wasn't a negative conversation in the least. It's just amazing how no matter what, God has it all in His hands. All we can do now is pray and hope its His will.

I go back on May 14th for progesterone and estradiol levels and then on May 21st for my pregnancy test. I'm staying home on bed rest through Wednesday and debating if I want to work from home Thursday and Friday.

And Ashley was right, there is NOTHING good on TV.. Lol

Mrs Red's retrieval day!!!! And everything leading up

Today was the day! I could hardly sleep last night, I was so excited!

I started my injectables on Saturday April 21, .01mL of microdose HCG, and 150 IUI of gonal-f. Hubby started taking doxycycline twice a day to make sure he doesn't get sick. I went Tuesday April 24 for stimulation day 3 E2 and sonogram. I had 4 follicles at 8-9mm! But my e2 was only 34 so they increased my meds to 225 IUI gonal-f same microdose HCG.
Thursday April 26 I went fr my next r2 and sono. I had more follicles at 8-9mm but nothing more than that. They called me later with my e2 and it was only 61 and it needed to be more than 100.... I cried at work. I was so stressed at work and I know it was effecting me... They increased my meds to 300 IUI and said come in on Saturday... So we decided to be a little more diligent and started up juicing again...

Friday after work, we made a commitment to having a stress free (as much could be controlled) weekend and no work talk or thinking of work. We went to the movies Friday and saw 21 jump street, very funny and it helped kick start the weekend. The. Saturday morning we went back and praise God, my e2 was 467!!! My sono showed I had a handful of eggs over 10mm and one at 14! So same dose and come in Monday with my meds and to bring one of the cetratide kits! For dinner we went and ate sushi to celebrate and because if all goes well I won't get to eat it for a while

Monday we get to the doctor after having a juice packed with fruits and veggies full of phytoestrogens. My sono showed 16 follicles over 10 mm! And like 3 at 15 mm! I ran out of gonal-f and spent the day calling around to get a good price for a 900 iui pen.... Took .01 mL of the microdose at the doctors office, then they called later and confirmed to keep taking 300 IUI of gonal-f and to take my cetratide medicine. Cetratide is a medicine to prevent the mature eggs from releasing on their own. My e2 Monday was 1264!

Took .01 mL microdose hcg, 300iui gonal-f and cetratide tuesday and then went back to the doc Wednesday. They told me to take all my doses for the day and that would be my last dose of those medicines. At 9pm Wednesday night I took 1CC of novarel to mature my eggs. At the sono it showed I had 13 follicles that were ready and thy said the rest would probably continue maturing. The sonographer gave me a print out of my "kissing ovaries"

Thursday I went in the morning for another e2, and they reminded me to brig warm socks and to take a fleet enema that night and no food after midnight. I have to admit.... The enema was uncomfortable and weird but I'm doing everything they say to do!

This morning I couldn't sleep, partly because my "kissing ovaries" we're pushing on my bladder and I have to pee soooo often lol! I'm so thankful I haven't gotten sick with how big they are. We got to the clinic at 710, they took us back an got me changed. I swore I had to pee but only a little came out. It hurts to pee because oh the ovary size but it's not too bad. They put me in the room and hooked me up to the iv. Miguel kissed me and then I saw the doctor for a sec, they gave me "loopy" medicine and it made me sleepy but I fought it, I wanted to be nosey loo. Then the doctor came and said we were ready, they wrapped my legs with some dark blue tarp looking things and they started the anesthesia, it burned like bad carpal tunnel days. Then I was out, I woke up to the nurse and anesthesiologist talking about vacations lol first thing I said was "go on a cruise" lmao, we talked for a while as I woke up then they got Miguel and got me animal crackers. He told me they got 29 eggs! Even the doctor was shocked! A while later they said I could go home and gave me instructions for the next 4 days.

We went and got breakfast then home. I slept for a few hours and then logged into work to make sure everything was set so no one will call me lol. Now we wait for the report on how many fertilized! :-D

God is great!

My "kissing ovaries"

The last pill

I took my last bc pill. First sonogram and e2 are Friday morning. I'm getting so super excited and anxious! I really hope this works the first time.
They called with my hubby's tests and everything is perfect. Which we knew.... LoL and his genetic testing came back and he doesn't carry anything bad, which is awesome because I am a cystic fibrosis carrier, which was a scary concern. I'm so glad we won't have to worry about that but it's been cleared now. Friday seems so close and so far...

We still haven't told anyone and I feel like I wanna scream because its so exciting but I don't want the stress. I still have no idea what I'm going to tell my mom on WHY I'll be out of work for a week... LoL we were off yesterday and today and she txt this morning all worried why I was off -__- ...idk what we are going to do... I can't have her all hovering while trying to relax, but if I tell her what we are doing she's going to hover and stress me out because she wants a grand baby soooooo bad... so I get the same results... Idk what to do...

-Mrs Red

Ashley's IVF

Well, I just like to give a quick update about our IVF journey. We started stimulation drugs two weeks ago and on Wednesday 3/21 we had our retrieval! On Monday they knew I was a little over stimulated (OHSS) so they gave me some medicine to help with that because usually the symptoms get worse after the retrieval. The retrieval went well. Hubby was in the operating room, I was under anethisea, we got 13 eggs!! Since the retrieval I've been very bloated (which is very normal I'm told) but other than that I've felt good so far. On Friday we found out we will be doing a Day 5 transfer (on Monday, March 26) and that is when we will find out how many embyros made it and if we'll have some to freeze too. For now I'm just focused on preventing and reducing the OHSS symptoms (they can get worse or onset if I become pregnant too) by staying hydrated and not being on my feet for too long. I've been doing stuff around the house but then resting when I feel like I've had enough. We are praying every moment and stay positive! I'll update you when I know more.

Well, yesterday our transfer went very well. We got to the clinic and they did a
quick OHSS check on me. Things look good with that they just want to monitor me
again tomorrow to make sure things stay that way. After the OHSS check they
went over our post-transfer instructions. I was on bed rest with bathroom privileges
starting right after the transfer until Wednesday. They require this to give
the best chance possible for the embryo(s) to implant. They also don't want you
showering or bathing until 2 days after the transfer. I can go back to work
Wednesday but cannot do any strenuous activities or lift more than 10 lbs until
my pregnancy test, which will be on 4/4/12 & 4/6/12. They will not give me
results until 4/6/12. If I do get pregnant we won't know how many implanted
until a couple weeks later when we can see by ultrasound.
After we went over the post-transfer instructions they took us into the procedure
room. I took my valium (they have you take this so you are relaxed and able to
sleep/rest after the transfer) than the Embryologist came in to tell us what
has happened since our retrieval. Out of our 13 eggs retrieved, 10 were mature
and that they could ICSI. Out of those 10, 8 fertilized normally. We had 3
grade 1 embryos on Monday (3/26/12) they chose the best two to transfer and the
third was frozen. The will continue to watch the other 5 and will freeze up to
5 more but the Embryologist said she's hoping for at least a few more. She said
they are all doing well, but they will only freeze the ones that are good
quality. We will know how many are frozen sometime next week. Of the two great
quality ones that were transferred one was already starting to hatch (ready to
implant) and the other wasn't far behind! We are so happy and so excited!!! We
are also so lucky to such great and supportive friends and family. My parents
brought dinner last night which was so nice.

P.S. Of course there is nothing good on tv ;)